A Little Mix of Black Magic
by Milky Boy Blue
Summary: Last month, a sorceress came to Gravity Falls and almost tore families apart at her clients' requests. Now she has returned, her curiosity piqued by the family that so easily disrupted her spell and the natural magic of the area. Armed with potions, spells and an indifferent attitude towards the lives of others, there is no price she won't pay in her quest for money and power.
1. Chapter 1

Dipper Pines sat in the Gravity Falls library, a pen clenched between his teeth as he typed away at a computer. The machine was old and could be frustratingly slow but he liked the quiet of the public building, the hushed voices, whispers and giggles barely registering to the teenager as he scrolled through several websites and made notes on what he believed could be important. He'd been coming here for a few days each week, ever since he learned the name of the woman who had cast the spell on his sister and friends. He enjoyed the research, it reminded him of last summer when he had spent hours making notes and theories on the journal and its author.

He had started by searching for the name Jenna Myles online, but of course that had just taken him to a list of social media accounts and celebrities or fictional characters with similar names. After hours of searching, the only thing he had come across that tingled his suspicions was an article about a girl who had been orphaned at thirteen when her parents had died in a car crash. He had stared at the picture of the dark-haired girl for a long time, comparing her to the picture Soos had attached to the Shack's banned list after they'd watched the security footage.

But a person could change a lot in four years and he couldn't be sure that the girl in the article would grow up to become the teenager that would force Mabel, Wendy and Pacifica out of their bodies. Still, the ages matched and Pacifica did say that the sorceress had mentioned a lack of parents when they were in the diner. A part of him wondered, assuming they were the same person, if she might have even played a part in her parents' deaths. But he put that thought aside. Even if she did seem to have a cavalier attitude towards the lives of others, actually killing someone was something else entirely, let alone your parents and at such a young age.

After that he expanded his search to other sources that referenced selling magic or sorcery but that had only resulted in video games or fantasy story references and the standard phony websites and scams. There could be something out there for all he knew, but cutting through the hoaxes could take years. He then read several books about different personality types and had even spoken to Professor Passuum since she had written a few books on the subject and thought it would be better to speak to a professional about such a matter.

The Professor at first seemed a bit disappointed that he wasn't coming to make any appointments but he stated he didn't think they were necessary yet and she didn't push the topic, only saying she was here if he ever changed his mind and agreed to help him where she could. In shows or movies they would often bring in experts who could deduce key factors about the criminal's identity after only a few minutes. The Professor had been quick to tell him that she was not an expert in criminal psychology and that even if she were, things were rarely that simple when it came to the human mind. In reality, it could take years to understand someone, especially as people changed with every conversation and were often lying to others and themselves about who they really were.

But she had suggested that arrogance would likely be a key factor in locating her, the way the sorceress had boasted to Pacifica of her success and even gave out the information about her parents and the reason for coming to the Falls so freely suggested that she honestly didn't see any danger in doing so. However, the Professor had been quick to add, this arrogance appeared to be justified if this girl could cause so much trouble at her age and she should not be underestimated. Dipper had tried to take this under advisement but at the same time he had reflected back on his own accomplishments at an even younger age and had assured the Professor that he and his family could handle whatever this sorceress would throw at them.

The Professor had given him a funny look before smirking and saying that she was sure they would.

He wasn't quite sure if she had taken him seriously, a slight damper on his sometimes too-easily inflated ego (a common flaw in the Pines family) but her advice had certainly proven useful. He remembered that the sorceress had also boasted to Pacifica that she had her own business and that she wanted people to be aware of her success and if her sense of self-importance was as big as he thought it was then something told him she would want her name attached. Using that suspicion, he returned to the list he made of the websites that stood out from the rest and went straight for the one that resonated with him the most: Jenna's Miscellaneous Magic. What struck him immediately about this website was the way it was designed.

While others were full of promises and boasts about the ingredients or used magical terminology to try and make the items stand out, this one was fairly plain. There were plenty of classic items such as potions that could enhance your strength or speed, perfumes and aftershaves that made you more attractive, jewellery that could give any number of different enchantments, on and on it went. But each item was given a fairly simple explanation and there was nowhere near as much grandstanding as other websites; this resembled a simple catalogue more than anything else and the items even went so far as to warn of the limitations and even side-effects of improper use. For example, the pheromone potions advised they couldn't affect someone's sexuality and the strength potion warned that overuse could result in exhaustion, muscle injuries and other health hazards that sounded similar to steroid use. Overall, this website seemed much more practical than the others, as if the person behind it was obviously confident in their abilities but at the same time too smart not to warn their clients about potential faults in case it came back to bite them.

He read the reviews of most of the items and felt more and more confident that he was on the right track. Most reviews were very positive and many came with stories that explained how and why the customer used them and the success they had received. They weren't all favourable but most complaints were about the prices, others were about time restraints, limitations, etc. and most of these complaints seemed to have been covered in the item's description page anyway so that didn't challenge the quality of the service. There had even been a few replies to these stating that it was blatantly the customer's fault and they should have read the label while complaints about prices were generally ignored. Dipper thought the spells sounded very similar to some of Stan's sarcastic responses to customers.

Dipper rubber his tired eyes and stretched. Glancing at his watch, he scratched his head under his ushanka and logged out before turning off the computer, grudgingly admitting he had done as much research as he could. The library was pretty old and there were only a few newer books but he had found enough for his needs and he still liked to come every now and then, even when there wasn't an immediate threat or mystery that needed research, seeing it as a place of relative calm in the storm of weird and wonderful that was Gravity Falls.

He had spent many hours in the library back in Piedmont, pouring over books and conducting his own research into the supernatural even before his parents had sent their children to the Oregon town and had many fond memories of the times he had found solace in the facts and fictions he found there. He waved at the librarian as he left, earning a smile in return and thought it might be worth suggesting to McGucket that they could use extra funds.

Normally he wouldn't encourage a friend to spend money but the old inventor had often said he literally had more money than he knew what to do with and was always eager to put his money to good use. He'd already given small fortunes to charities that focused on education, poverty, homelessness and other altruistic goals but Dipper thought the old man might also like it if the local library received some of his generosity. After all, the man had even volunteered several times to help the younger children in town at the library, and that was during the years he married wild animals and accused his reflection of stalking him. Dipper didn't think he'd mind giving the library more books or better computers, especially if it helped the younger kids.

The teen decided to wander the town for a bit before returning to the Shack, stretching his legs and giving his mind a little more time to process the information he had gathered on the sorceress. He took out his notebook and glanced at what he had written with a sigh. He seemed to be at a dead end in his research. He knew the name of his new foe, her face, had an idea of her abilities, her source of income and even had a strong theory about a little of her backstory but couldn't think of a way to learn more.

There was an email address on her website with an offer to contact her if there were any special requests and he suspected that was how she had been contacted by the three older women who wanted new lives. He had briefly considered creating a fake email account and sending her a false request through it to see what her response would be and hopefully find out more about her...but that page also had a strict threat that any harassers, trolls, cons, cheapskates or pranksters would be cursed. Considering what she had done to his friends and sister, Dipper really didn't want to risk contacting her in case she used her magic to find out who he really was and did fulfil her threat. His luck was bad enough, he didn't need magic making it worse.

Dipper walked up to the Town Square as he continued to think about the sorceress and his investigation. He paused for a moment when he saw the remains of the Nathaniel Northwest statue. The effigy had been destroyed over a month ago in a battle between Wendy and a time traveling cop-turned criminal. Preston Northwest had tried to convince the town to have the statue restored but the town seemed indifferent now that it was public knowledge Nathanial had been a fraud and the current Northwests didn't have enough spare money to pay for the restoration themselves or bribe enough people to support the idea. In fact, Pacifica had hinted that Preston was having a bit of difficulty with his money, too obsessed with keeping up appearances and purchasing the most outrageously expensive items when he should be focusing on how to manage his much smaller income. Still, at least he wasn't trying to control Pacifica as much as he had in the past and Dipper was pretty confident that even if Preston was having financial difficulty, his daughter would manage.

Dipper watched the statue for a little bit, remembering the battle between the two redheads and briefly wondering where the Irish cyborg was now before he put that thought aside for another time. Right now he should be focusing on the best way to explain to his family and friends that he couldn't find any more information. He shook his head and began the long walk back to the Shack. It had been fun to have an investigation to keep him entertained for a little while. Mabel was busy trying to help Melody and Soos with their wedding plans, Ford was spending lots of time with McGucket in their labs working on things that were beyond the young teen's understanding and Stan and even the normally listless Wendy were spending some time trying to come up with outings and exercises to try and get the younger twins in better shape while they were in town.

Dipper put a hand on his bicep and flexed, not feeling any difference from the start of the summer. He sighed again, his unchanging muscle mass seeming too similar to his attempt to research the sorceress. What would they say when he told them he'd failed to find out anything special? Soos and Melody would be fine with it, probably just shrug and say he did the best he could. Wendy and Stan would probably crack a few jokes and Mabel would no doubt tease him about it so that was something he'd just have to endure. What would Ford think? Hopefully he wouldn't be too disappointed. After all, he was only thirteen, that should give him a little leeway, shouldn't it? He might not be able to hold a torch to the more experienced researcher but he should at least be able to appreciate the effort. Right?

He stuck his hands in his pockets, the negative thoughts swirling in his head before a voice called out to him and brought him back to reality. "Dipper Pines. I've been looking for you."

He turned towards the grinning teenage girl with dark hair, wearing sunglasses, blue jeans and jean jacket over a black t-shirt. It took his imagination a moment to straighten her hair, remove the glasses and switch her clothes to all black. "Jenna Myles!" he cried, pointing an accusing finger at the sorceress. "What are you doing here?"

Jenna stared at the younger teen. "Wait, you know my name?"

"You stay away from my family!" he warned her, ignoring the question. "If you want revenge I'll-!"

"Easy, kid, easy!" she said raising her hands. "I don't want revenge, I hated those old bats, they complained constantly. But they did mention that you were the one who stopped them and said you knew a bit about magic yourself. That's pretty impressive. In fact, I've been looking forward to talking to you about that. Thought it might be fun to swap info."

"Like I'd ever help you," Dipper said. "You almost took my sister away from me! I'm not telling you a thing!"

"Oh, I think I can convince you otherwise," Jenna grinned, leaning forward and waving a hand in front of his face, the teenager blinking in surprise as he caught the scent of her sweet perfume. She watched with amusement as the pheromones did their work, the boy blushing as he saw her in a whole new light.

She had been researching the boy and his family for almost as long as he had been studying her. But her resources were far greater and she had the benefit of magic to scry for information that would normally be unattainable. And what she found had fascinated her. The boy and his sister weren't too exceptional on the surface; twins just short of their fourteenth birthday, dad worked in computers, mother had some government job before she became a stay at home wife and substitute teacher, kids did pretty well in school, the boy especially. They seemed to have gotten in trouble a few times such as when the girl got banned from the petting zoo but nothing too extreme. It looked like they just got carried away sometimes, the sister in particular. The girl seemed to have too much energy and a desperate craving for attention in the sorceress' opinion, maybe ADHD or something similar?

The boy on the other hand was very boring in comparison at first. Looked like he'd been bullied a lot until Middle School but there was nothing immediately noteworthy. She was curious about his nickname and why he seemed to prefer it so much to his real name until she discovered that he had that birthmark on his face. A birthmark in the shape of a constellation, now that was very interesting. Especially in a boy just starting his teens with a twin sister who seemed to be his opposite in so many ways but whom he still shared a close bond with. Stuff like that could mean they were destined for greatness or had untapped magical potential, something she knew a great deal about.

But, between them both, she was surprised to find that the boy eventually interested her the most. It wasn't just his birthmark, it was also his outsider status and intelligence, something she could personally relate to and was a recurring characteristic in people who would grow up to have experience with magic and the supernatural. And he had been the one who realised that her clients were possessing his sister and the other two so that must have meant he had at least some knowledge if he could figure it out so quickly. He had even called on his great-uncle to cancel her spell and send them back to their own bodies.

Which was another interesting thing. Stanley Pines was supposed to be dead. There were newspaper articles about it. And yet the clients claimed they had seen twins. Reading about the man she had at first thought that it must have been some insurance scam or a way to avoid his debts since he had a very checkered past. But then his death date was also very close to the articles she had found mentioning that Stanford Pines had suddenly went form scientist and researcher to criminal and conman, even turning his home and research station into a tourist trap. Then, last summer, Stanford Pines had suddenly sent out a few essays to scientific magazines as if he'd reverted back to being the scientist again as if nothing had happened in all those years. It hadn't taken too long for her to learn that Stanford Pines was born with twelve fingers and toes while his other twin had the standard number.

She had scanned the articles about Stanford Pines in the last thirty years and saw that he only had ten fingers. Something else that was so very interesting. If they were supposed to be identical twins then why did only one have the extra digits? She'd heard of identical twins with different intellects and talents but physically they should have been the same. Twins, opposites in most ways but still had a very strong bond growing up, the more intellectual of the two with a unique physical trait that no doubt resulted in frequent bullying and led to them becoming an outsider. The symmetry was obvious and that raised her suspicions that the Pines family were definitely something special.

But why would Stanford Pines only now try to take back his life? She could understand helping your brother fake his death to avoid criminals and people seeking revenge for the scams, but thirty years was a long time, why let him completely take over your identity and turn a research station that was dedicated to your life's work into some fraudulent shop? Why not just let him live in the basement if you wanted to protect him instead of allowing him to impersonate you and even commit crimes in your name? She was missing something but she had more important things to worry about than the history of the Pines family.

Her clients said the kid had mentioned goblins and gnomes before he summoned his great-uncles to end her spell. The whole family seemed to know a great deal about magic. And magic was her business. If she could speak to one of them then she could learn so much more. She had originally planned to return to the Falls and search for magical creatures and artefacts herself but now she wouldn't have to. Now all she needed to do was find one member of the family and convince them to tell her everything they knew.

Her pheromone perfume was enough to sway almost any man as long as they liked girls so the boys were the better candidates. She had briefly considered going for the scientist brother straight away but changed her mind. If he could so easily dismiss her magic then he probably had wards and spells of his own to cancel most of her potions and spells. Besides, in her scrying she had seen that he was rarely alone, usually accompanied by his brother, an old man or the boy, and she didn't want to risk using the perfume if anyone else was immune to it. The stuff wasn't cheap. Better to try the boy first, he had knowledge but was still too young to have that much experience, especially if he had only been in the town for two summers. Besides, she had scryed him repeatedly and he definitely liked girls.

So, she had finished her business requests, decided to take a few days away from the office and put a selection of potions and containers in the doctor's bag she liked to carry, gathered her laptop, a change of clothes and a few other items and made her way back to the town of Gravity Falls, finding another room at the motel. After a quick breakfast and some more scrying, she had found the boy at the library and, after scrying the rest of his family and the other two girls to make sure she wasn't in danger of coming across them, had set out to find the boy and ask him everything she could think of, spraying her special perfume and putting a couple of other potions in her pocket just in case.

She smiled as the boy looked at her with doting eyes. "Why don't we have a nice little chat?" she suggested happily, leaning forward and fluttering her eyes at him. "We can go somewhere more private to talk about magic?"

"Okay," Dipper said with a nervous swallow. Then a look of confusion spread across his face and he frowned, blinking rapidly.

Jenna's smile dissolved as his blush faded and he rubbed his forehead in frustration. Something was wrong. The kid was resisting. Faster than anyone she'd ever seen. She waved her hand in front of his face again, practically rubbing her wrist against his nose.

Dipper recoiled from her as he struggled against the magic and took a wary step back. "N-no," he said, swaying like a drunk as the perfume tried to weaken his resolve. "Get away from me."

Jenna stared at him as she saw him fight her spell with shocking effectiveness. She'd never experienced anything like this before, even the most resistant of adults would normally be even partially suggestible for at least an hour. Normally, the only way the perfume wouldn't work was if they had found True Love. The kid couldn't have found that at his age, could he? No, if he had then it wouldn't have affected him at all. This kid really was something special. Which would have been good for her if he was under her control. She started to panic as she realised that the magic wouldn't last a minute at this rate and reached into her pocket for her newest potion, the one she was saving as a last resort. But she couldn't have him running to warn the others of her arrival.

She tried to raise the spray to his face but a hand grabbed her wrist. "N-no," Dipper grunted as he pushed her hand away with surprising strength. Jenna gave her own grunt and took the spray away with her other hand and tried to aim with that, only to have the boy grab that wrist too. They struggled for a while, the older teen sweating anxiously as things started to go downhill much faster than she ever thought possible. In desperation she let out a kick that caught the boy between the legs and sent him to his knees, finally giving her the leverage to spray his face.

Dipper let out a cry of pain and clapped his hands over his eyes as both teens gasped, Jenna standing up straighter and looking around. Their scuffle had drawn the attention of the others in the street, a few of them approaching with anger or concern on their faces but she quickly waved her hand at them and they paused with puzzled expressions before turning away from the pair.

Jenna groaned and pulled out her handkerchief, dabbing at her nose as her body felt the effects of casting the memory spell on so many people at once. She checked the handkerchief and was relieved to see that it wasn't red. Then she turned to the teenager who had already caused her so much trouble. "You are a serious pain in my neck, kid. Get up."

Dipper groaned and slowly got to his feet, rubbing his bloodshot eyes as he turned to her, his pupils dilating when they saw her. "Sorry," he told her sincerely pained breaths. "I didn't mean to-"

"Forget it," she said, waving his apologies away. "Tell me, Dipper what would you do for me?"

"Anything," he said as he rubbed his sore eyes and grimaced from the residual pain from her kick to his privates. "I'd do anything for you. Just name it."

Jenna smirked. "Well that's good to hear." She looked around the town, thinking about how exhausted she already was when she hadn't even learned a thing yet. "Okay, first we need to get out of the street. Where's a good place where you can buy me lunch?"

"Well, there's Greasy's Diner-"

"No," Jenna told him firmly. "Not that diner. I don't want Pacifica Northwest, that redhead or your family to know that I'm here. I don't want anyone to know I'm here. Got it?"

"Got it," Dipper said with a nod. "I won't tell anyone about you. Um, there's the Gravity Falls Mall? That's got a few different places and I know Wendy's working this afternoon and I think Pacifica's with my sister so that should be safe."

"Great, lead the way," Jenna commanded. The two teens walked towards the mall, only pausing so that Jenna could order the boy to buy her water and chocolate to regain her energy on the way to her meal. "What made you suspect that your sister and the others weren't themselves?" she asked as she took her first bite.

Dipper shrugged. "There were lots of things. They had different expressions and carried themselves differently. Wendy didn't have that twinkle in her eye and didn't have an axe. Pacifica was way more awkward and nervous. Mabel was the most obvious and not just because I know her better than anyone. She was distant and mean and asked odd questions. She was also very rude."

"You're telling me," Jenna muttered. "So how did you know it was possible for someone else to be in their bodies?"

"I've dealt with body swaps before," Dipper answered. "My sister and I spent hours in each other's body thanks to a mind-swapping carpet. Then a bunch of other people came in and we all ended up swapping with each other. I liked Grenda's the best, the muscles were nice. There was also one night where I was forced out of my body by a dream-demon who abused it for fun. That was horrible," he added quietly.

"Um, okay," Jenna said, surprised that he had seen that much already. "You've got experience with magic. What about your great-uncles, what's their story?"

"Well, when they were growing up in Jersey they were best friends despite being so different, just like the way Mabel and I are. They wanted to grow up and go on great adventures together but that all fell apart when Grunkle Ford was going to get accepted into this prestigious college. Grunkle Stan was worried that his best friend would end up leaving him behind and one night he accidentally-"

"Ugh, it's one of those stories!" Jenna rolled her eyes. "Just give me the bullet points. Why did one fake his death and pretend to be the other for thirty years? And why the hell do you call them your Grunkles?"

"It's short for great-uncle," Dipper answered as he thought of the best way to simplify the story of the older twins. "Stan asked us to use it since it's quicker and time is money. At first I thought it was a bit childish but Stan was insistent and now it's grown on me. Um, for their story, they had a falling out but then Ford asked for his help. They had a fight and Ford spent thirty years hopping between dimensions. Stan took over his identity to avoid people coming after him and make the money he needed to continue his search for his brother. Last year he finally succeeded and Stan went back to using his old identity after Weirdmageddon."

"What the hell is - you know what? Forget it. Something tells me we might be here a while if I question everything." Jenna thought about what the boy had revealed about his great-uncles as they walked. She was still thinking when they finally reached the mall. The brief backstory explained a lot. The six-fingered twin, Ford, he must have stumbled across magic in his research or sought it out, cast the wrong spell and was banished to one of the magical dimensions. Then the other twin, Stanley, had to take up magic to get him back. The kid had mentioned a dream demon, if they knew about demons then maybe he made a deal of some kind? Irrelevant, she didn't care about the family beyond what they could do for her. If they stayed out of her way then she'd stay out of theirs.

She glanced at the boy as they walked to the food court. Well, she'd stay out of their way after she was done. She sat at one of the tables and commanded him to buy her lunch as she pulled out a small notepad and a fluffy pink pen. She looked over the series of questions she had prepared to ask him. Some he had already answered so she jotted down some quick notes, the others she would have him answer while she ate. Even if he had been able to resist her new and improved pheromone perfume, she knew her latest potion was too powerful for him to fight and should be enough to keep him under her control for at least a day.

It was something specifically tailored to use against the scientist if she had to, designed to break through other protective enchantments and strong wills to enthral even the most experienced of magic users just in case the perfume hadn't been enough. Clearly it was a very wise decision to bring it but she still couldn't get over that she needed it for the boy. She couldn't detect any special wards or magic charms of protection on him. Maybe that birthmark really did mark him as something special? Was he an apprentice to his great-uncle and had been taught mental resistance or something? And if that were the case, what would the scientist's be like?

She scratched her head as she realised that this mission would clearly be much trickier than she had thought. The boy returned carrying a try of the food she had told him to buy, pushing it to her and having none for himself. "Okay, kid," she said as she bit into a burger, taking her pen and hovering it over the paper. "I want you to name every magical creature you know of in the area, got it?"

Dipper nodded as he thought of them all. "Um, let's see. There's the gnomes. Goblins. Gremlins. Um, the Multi-Bear and the Manotaurs, zombies, fairies, the eye-bats are magic, I guess, uh, the Lilliputtians, ghosts of all categories, kill billies." He frowned as he struggled to recall them all, there were so many. But Jenna had asked him and he couldn't fail her. "Gremloblins, soothsquitos, the Moth Man, scampfires, the Summerween Trickster was magical and I think the griffin is still flying around? Um, I've heard rumours of dragons but never actually seen one. Uh, let me think...there was an arachnimorph one time but she was outside the valley, uh, the cursed doors that Ford doesn't like. There was a merman once but I don't know if there are any more in the area and - are you okay?" Dipper paused as Jenna stared at him, the pen dropping from her fingers.

Jenna licked her lips and gave a short, almost hysterical laugh. Then she pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes as she laughed to herself, the boy's concern growing. "Griffins and gnomes and fairies, oh my!" she giggled. When she removed her hands and grinned at him Dipper recognised the look as the same one that Stan got sometimes, the one Mabel referred to as Dollar-sign eyes. "Oh, kid," she breathed. "You have no idea how happy you've just made me."

"Glad I could be of service," Dipper said with a quiet nod.

Jenna grinned and scribbled more notes down as she considered everything the boy had said to her. So many magical creatures! She thought that most of them were extinct and there were others she didn't even recognise. So many ingredients for potions that she thought she'd never be able to make! She was going to make a fortune! She took a deep breath as she suddenly remembered that this valley was not without its protectors. She shot the boy a look, suspecting his great-uncle was one of those do-gooder types who would try and stop her if he knew what she was doing, especially after she'd brain-washed his great-nephew to such an extreme. She'd have to be careful and not underestimate this family again.

She cleared her throat and edged closer to the boy. "So, Dipper," she said slowly. "I think I might need your help. I want to gather as much information as I can on these magical creatures. All of them. Maybe even find a few so I can conduct my own experiments. But I don't want your great-uncles disrupting my plans the way they did before. Do you think you can help me?"

Dipper looked her in the eyes and nodded, his own still slightly bloodshot from when she had sprayed them. "Yeah, I think I can help with that. Grunkle Ford made a whole bunch of notes on them outside his journals. I can go to the Shack and bring them to you."

"That would be great," Jenna agreed pleasantly. "Then you can take me to meet some of these creatures you mentioned. You could tell your, er, Grunkles that you're doing research on your own. Do you think they'd accept that and not ask too many questions?"

"Yeah, I think they'd buy that," Dipper agreed. "But Mabel would want to spend time with me and try to join me. She'd get worried if I refused and it would make the others suspicious, especially after what you did."

"Damn," Jenna grunted as she thought about that. Of course they would be on the alert for strange behaviour after the possession fiasco. And she couldn't exactly stop the kid from acting unnatural when he was under her control. How to explain his strange behaviour? She snapped her fingers as she had a lightbulb moment. "Say, Dipper? Do you have a girlfriend or a girl you like?"

"No girlfriend. And there is a girl I like. But she doesn't feel the same," he mumbled quietly.

"Uh huh, and does she or anybody else know you feel this way about her?"

"Everybody knows how I feel," he sighed. "My sister teases me sometimes, keeps saying that I should move on and-"

"Yeah, I don't care," Jenna told him. "Listen, just answer my questions from now on, don't bother me with your life story, alright?"

"Alright," Dipper said quietly.

"Great! Now, your sister wants you to move on, right? Well, whenever you're doing something for me or going to meet me just say that I'm this great and beautiful girl who's new to town and interested in the supernatural and that you're interested in me. Just tell them I'm your new crush and you want to impress me on your own. That I'm shy and don't like too many new faces or boisterous people so you'll introduce me when I'm ready. That should be enough to explain any odd behaviour."

"Okay," Dipper nodded.

"Excellent. Now, I'll need a fake name in case they ask. Refer to me as Jennifer when they're around. I like that name and it's similar enough to my own. Jennifer..." she looked around the food court, trying to find inspiration. "Spoon," she decided finally, her eyes landing on a plastic utensil and deciding it would do as well as anything else. "Jennifer Spoon. Got it?"

"Jennifer Spoon," Dipper repeated loyally.

"Great," Jenna said with a smile and a nod as she sipped her drink. "Now be a good boy and write down all those wonderful magical creatures you know about. Then we can discuss that great-uncle of yours a bit more and I can figure out what else you can do for me. You've given Jennifer Spoon a lot to think about," she added with a wink as the boy reached for the pen and paper.

"Happy to help," Dipper said as he did as he was told.

"That's my good little turncoat," Jenna said, patting his head affectionately.

"Turncoat," Dipper repeated with a frown. His gut twisted a little bit when Jenna had used the word. But she seemed happy when she said it so it couldn't be too bad. "I guess I am," he agreed with a shrug as he continued writing.


	2. Chapter 2

Mabel Pines entered the Shack with a whistle and a smile, Waddles at her side. "After you, good sir," she said, holding the door open and curtseying as her pig went inside. "And to you too," she added after Waddles gave a pleasant oink, letting the door go.

"Ow!" The door was kicked open, Pacifica rubbing her head and glaring at Mabel. "Hey!"

"Oops, sorry," Mabel winced as Pacifica entered the Shack, Gideon close behind her. "When Waddles enters my vision, I just forget about everyone else." She laughed. "I mean, there was this one time where Soos was on the roof and asked me to hold the ladder for him but then Waddles came along and he had this little smear-"

"If I accept your apology will you spare me the story?" Pacifica asked, pulling out her mirror and checking to see if there was a bruise.

"But I like the Waddles moustache stain story," Mabel pouted. "It's cute and amusing and Soos was in mortal danger. It has something for everyone!"

"I'd like to hear the story, Mabel," Gideon said.

"I bet you would," Pacifica muttered, putting her mirror away.

"Oh, hey, Mabel. And Gideon and Pacifica too," Soos greeted them as he tried to fix his tie. "Mabel, can you help me with this? I've got a tour waiting. And hey, good to see that you're spending time with your former enemies again. I always loved the comics or episodes where the heroes and villains united, those were the best ones. Usually 'cause it meant that there was an even bigger bad and only by working together could they defeat them - those were some epic fights, dudes!" He grinned as Mabel tied his tie, recalling the many hours he had spent wishing he could be part of a group like that. "Man, those were awesome stories. Then again, sometimes they were major disappointments," he sighed. "I mean, there was one time where the villain wasn't even beaten by the main character but-"

"All done!" Mabel said proudly, stepping away from the large man and slapping the hand he had raised in thanks. "Looking very good, my soon-to-be-married friend. How's the tours been today? Hope you haven't disappointed too many ladies by letting them know you're betrothed?" she asked with a wink.

"Uh, not - not so much," Soos said, clearing his throat and giving a half-hearted chuckle. "So, uh, what have you three been doing?"

"Well Melody was struggling with some ideas for the wedding," Mabel said, turning her head to the side quizzically as Pacifca and Gideon exchanged looks. "For suits and dresses and designs. Then I when I was out with Pacifica I decided to ask her for advice since she's owned more dresses than the whole town put together. And she suggested I bring Gideon here because he's owned almost as many suits. Are you okay?" "Uh, yeah, just wedding nerves, I guess," Soos said with a shrug. "I mean, I'm happy - I just have some days where I get scared, you know?"

"You're going to be fine, Soos," Mabel told him. "Melody's super lucky. You're a great guy. I mean, I love you, Dipper and Wendy love you, Abuelita loves you and most importantly, Melody loves you."

"Yeah, I...I guess you're right," Soos said, clearing his throat. "Thanks, Mabel. Anyway, I'd better start that tour. You guys take care of yourself." He gave them a quick wave before he exited the Shack and made his way towards the waiting group of tourists.

"That was a bit weird," Pacifica said.

"No, it makes sense," Mabel sighed. "He's racked by self-doubt because of his poor track-record with women, his repeated rejections and failures gnawing at him and making him feel inadequate. He's conflicted because he feels nothing but love towards Melody and is glad that she wants to marry him but at the same time he's worried that she can do better and fears that one day she'll start to think this too. All of this is obviously creating inner-turmoil in the poor guy since he wants to feel happy but he's worried that he's putting his own desires ahead of what he suspects might be best for Melody. It's fairly standard for people with low self-esteem, they too often fear that the only way they can be happy is if it comes at a cost to someone else and that leads to them thinking that they're being selfish. Then they worry that their low moods can bring others down too, making them feel like more of a burden than a friend or lover since they don't want to bother the people who can help them the most. It creates a cycle of misery from happiness."

Pacifica stared at her. "Do you want to be a psychologist or something?"

"Nah, I've just picked up a lot from Professor Passuum," Mabel shrugged. "She's very good."

"Uh, yeah," Pacifica said slowly, perfectly aware that she had been seeing the professor for longer than her friend but hadn't picked up on any of that. "So what do we do about it?"

"Bake him a cake?" Gideon suggested. "It's what my mother does when I feel glum!" he said defensively when Pacifica gave him a look.

"Glum a lot, are we?" she asked, eyeing the boy's portly figure.

"I think we should just leave him for now," Mabel said, watching the former handyman give a tour with vigour, a few of the tourists chuckling at some joke he made. "I'll talk to Stan. If anyone can make him feel good about himself then it's him. After I give him a script. I think Soos will come around, we all get bad days but once the wedding's over he'll be right as rain."

"You know him best," Pacifica said as they made their way to the shop.

"Well I don't want to bother him right now anyway, he loves those tours and I think that might be a chance to cheer him up for now. Hey, Wendy. Is Melody here?"

"Hey, Mabel," Wendy greeted her friend, standing up a little straighter and glad to have someone to distract her from her boredom. "Yeah, think she's just getting the museum ready for when Soos takes the tour through it." The older teen exchanged a nod with Pacifica but narrowed her eyes when she saw that Gideon was with the girls, closing her magazine and watching him carefully. "Hello, Gideon. What are you doing here?"

"Why I'm just helping Mabel with a little errand," Gideon said proudly, smiling at the wary redhead. "I'm just doing my best to help a friend and remain on the path of-"

"Save it for your little group therapy sessions," Wendy snapped. "You try anything funny with Mabel or if my moisturizer goes missing then I'm going to drop-kick you right into the bottomless pit."

"Actually, Gideon's been very nice to Mabel," Pacifica said, Mabel nodding hesitantly beside her. "He's been a perfect gentlema...well, he's been a good frie...he hasn't been too creepy."

"Wow, I'm filled with such comfort," Wendy said sarcastically.

"Actually, I was hoping to run something by you, Wendy," Gideon said, glancing at his nails and leaning against the counter. "Now, what with Soos and Melody's wedding is coming up, I thought that everyone would want to look their best, it being such a momentous occasion and all. Mabel suggested that you wear a green dress, something that matched your eyes. I, on the other hand, thought that you may wish to go down a different route."

"Did you now?" Wendy said, recalling some of Gideon and Mabel's more extravagant outfits. "And what kind of dress do you think I should wear?"

"Why, none actually," he said with a smile. "A suit!" he clarified quickly as the lumberjill reached for her axe. "I meant, I think you should a suit," he said, swallowing loudly as her hand paused over her weapon. "Black of course, just like the others, with a bow tie."

"A suit," Wendy repeated with a frown. "What, is that a crack at my femininity or something?"

"Not at all!" Gideon laughed nervously, glancing between her expression and the sheathed blade. "I just thought that it would make things a little more symmetrical. After all, Mabel tells me that she will be on the bride's side during the ceremony to keep the numbers even and that Melody will only have girls standing beside her, all in their lovely dresses, Mabel rivalling the bride in beauty."

"Ha, yeah," Mabel agreed.

"But since you are at Soos' side with Dipper, Stanley and Soos' cousin, you might stand out a bit if you are wearing a dress. Mabel says you don't own one of your own and I thought a suit would be easier. You don't mind wearing boys clothing and it will match the others. What do you say?"

"Hmm," Wendy said. She honestly had no issue with wearing a suit instead of a dress. Melody had already assured her that she wouldn't need to wear heels, knowing the teenager's strong aversion towards them. She just didn't see the point in wearing something that only made walking harder and running practically impossible, especially when she was already so tall. Tambry had once suggested that she might like them because she could always use them as a weapon but Wendy had just pointed to the axe at her belt, saying she didn't require more than that. And suits were usually cheaper and would probably be more comfortable. But did she really want to give Gideon Gleeful the satisfaction of knowing he had a good idea?

"You could wear a flannel bow tie?" Gideon suggested, adding the little cherry on top with a smirk.

Wendy blinked. "Yeah, okay, why not?"

"I'll make it for you!" Mabel declared happily. "Does the Corduroy clan have a specific plaid pattern? Or are there any others you like the look of?"

Pacifica grinned to herself as the older teen leaned over the counter to get a better look at the images on Mabel's phone, glad that she wouldn't have to worry about the leggy older girl distracting a certain thirteen-year old in her green dress. "Nice job," she whispered to Gideon as he stepped away from the counter.

"Least I could do for inviting me along," he whispered back, fixing his tie with a smug air.

"What are you two whispering about?" Wendy demanded, giving them a suspicious glare.

"Just looking forward to the wedding," Pacifica said, the two blondes giving her the exact same innocent smile.

"Gleeful and the Northwest have joined forces." Wendy shook her head. "These are dark days for Gravity Falls."

"Come on, Wendy, we're all friends now," Mabel said, slapping her arm playfully. "Hey, is Dipper back yet or is he still researching that magic lady?"

"Nah, he came back for a bit but then he went out again," Wendy said, scrolling through the different plaid designs. "Must have been in a rush because he just grabbed a few things from the lab and then said he was going to meet a friend."

"A friend?" Mabel frowned, thinking of her brother's small number of friends. Everyone she could think of was at the Shack or otherwise occupied. "What friend?"

"Dunno," Wendy shrugged. "When I asked if it was an emergency he just said there was someone new in town with an interest in the supernatural. But then a crowd came in and he left before I could ask him more. Like I said, he was in a rush."

"Huh," Mabel said, surprised that her awkward twin was taking time away from his research to make a new friend. "Weird that he'd show them some stuff from down there."

"Well Ford did have some artistic talent," Gideon pointed out, recalling the hours he spent staring at the pictures in the second journal. "Maybe he wanted to show this new fella some drawings?"

"That makes sense," Mabel agreed, walking to the museum to see if Melody was still there. "So Dipper's made a friend. Good for him."

* * *

"I grabbed everything I could find on magic," Dipper panted, still recovering from running back to the older teen with the notes. "I left the non-magical theories and studies just like you asked."

"Hmm, not as much new material as I hoped," Jenna said with a frown after reading a few more pages. "And a lot of this is just speculation, not proven. What gives, I thought this guy would know more about magic?"

"Grunkle Ford prefers science to magic," Dipper explained, his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "He's more interested in their biology than magic itself since it can be pretty hard to define. And it's hard to get answers since most magical creatures don't like humans because we persecuted them so much in the past. I mean, the only place that they all feel relatively safe is the Crawlspace - that's an underground bazaar where most of the magical creatures hide out during the day."

"So that's why I couldn't see anything when I was here last time," Jenna muttered. "Why isn't this mentioned in these notes?"

"Grunkle Ford used to have more stuff written in his journals but he threw those in the bottomless pit."

"What? Why the hell would he do that?"

"Well, he'd written those journals over several years and suffered a lot from his quest for knowledge since he entered a self-imposed solitude to study better. After Stan got his memories back, he started to think of them as reminders of his mistakes and-"

"Oh shut up!" Jenna snapped, Dipper's jaw snapping closed so quickly his tongue was almost caught between his teeth. "Some old man has a mid-life crisis and I'm the one who has to pay for it," she growled, returning to the notes. "Where's all the details about the blood and organs?" she demanded, slapping the impressive drawings in frustration. "I want ingredients, how is anyone meant to find anything out if he doesn't test the properties of their livers and skin and such? I mean, do you have any idea what I could do with these things?"

"Grunkle Ford didn't want to hurt them," Dipper said with a frown. "They were just animals or a different kind of people. He usually asked them questions or studied them to learn all that he could."

"No wonder he barely found anything out in all those years," Jenna muttered. "Wasn't prepared to go all the way. And what's with all these numbers and things?" she asked, pointing to several sentences or even entire pages written in symbols.

"Ford likes his ciphers and codes," Dipper explained. "He was very paranoid about people stealing his work but sometimes he would write it that way for fun or to keep his mind active."

"Do you know the codes?"

"Most of them," Dipper shrugged. "But not by heart. If you give me some pen and paper then in a few hours-"

"Well that's what you can do tonight," Jenna told him, folding up the notes and passing them back to the boy and looking towards the forest. "Which is the most common magical creature in there?"

"Uh, the gnomes are probably the most common overall," Dipper said slowly. "They have their own territory but territories don't mean as much as you'd think - they can be found almost everywhere, there's just more of them inside their borders. Then there's the fairies, same story with them. Just watch out for the barf fairies. The soothsquitos are pretty common too, but you can't tell the difference between them and normal mosquitos until after a bunch have bit you. The Manotaurs are easy to find, just get some jerky to summon them."

"Okay, good selection for a first day. But it's pronounced min-otaurs, not man-otaurs," Jenna corrected him irritably. "Get it right."

"No, they're Manotaurs," Dipper said. "I said that too until one corrected me. They're a different race, I think. They only have one female per generation and basically worship her."

"Huh," Jenna said, considering this new information. "That's interesting. Why does jerky summon them?"

"It's their favourite food," Dipper explained. "Open their favourite brand and they come running. Well, leaping."

"What, are they cannibals or are they just too stupid to know what it's made of?"

"Yes," said Dipper.

"...okay then, good to know." Jenna scratched her head as she considered her next course of action. "Right, I can't be bothered snatching bugs to find out which ones are the dyslexic fortune-tellers. Fairy populations are about ninety percent females so that would be a waste of perfume. I'll try to summon a Manotaur first if they're that easy. Then I'll look for a gnome since they have they have the opposite gender ratio from fairies. Come on," she told the enthralled boy, walking to the nearest shop for supplies. "You're going to buy some jerky. I can't wait to get my hands on some of these creatures and test their properties!" she said, practically squeeing at the thought of the potions she could make.

"Wait, you're not going to hurt them are you?" Dipper asked, stopping in his tracks. "Some of these creatures are our friends. And even the ones that aren't are usually just animals! They don't deserve to be cut open and experimented on."

Jenna paused, turning to the younger teen and saw a conflicted expression on his face. That was worrying. Even with her most powerful potion to date, he was still resisting her somehow. Not as directly as he had before, but in subtler ways.

When she had asked him about magical water creatures he had told her a story of a time when he and his family had went to the lake for a fishing trip and searched for a large creature that was said to roam the waters. She repeatedly had to interrupt him to stop him from drifting into the finer details or making anecdotes about his family and their friend. In the end he had wasted almost an hour of her time, only to reveal that it had been a machine all along and not a real creature that she could use for her magic.

She had decided to be careful after that. Usually his answers would be relatively short, giving her just the basics and leaving her with the impression that there could be more that she might like to know. But when she asked for details he would too-often give her unnecessary information, usually adding stories or comments about his family and friends that had little or nothing to do with what she wanted. She knew more about his sister and that redhead than she cared to know and was growing more and more frustrated with him as time went by, even if his resistance was fascinating in and of itself.

She'd asked him about lessons with his great uncle or others but he hadn't received any training to fight against magic or mental control. And she couldn't sense anything magical about him. Which meant he must have some impressive willpower to fight her like this, even now.

"Dipper?" she asked him quietly. "How are you feeling? Be honest."

Dipper frowned as he thought about that. "Angry," he admitted. "Even when I was talking to Wendy, she was just asking me how my day was and where I was going but I felt myself getting very irritable. I was actually relieved when the customers showed up to keep her busy. Which is weird because I love talking to Wendy and keeping her company when she's bored."

"Yeah, you've said," Jenna grunted. "Anything else?"

"Well when I'm not angry I feel...sad," he said quietly. "Very sad. Actually, there's been a lot of mood swings. Angry and sad are the most common emotions but as time goes on I've sometimes felt indifferent or even drained. And it's not just from running to the Shack and back. It's deeper than that, emotionally and physically, you know?"

"Not really," said Jenna, pulling out her phone and making a few quick notes before approaching the boy and circling him, looking him up and down with a clinical gaze. She checked his pulse and frowned. She ordered him to open his mouth and used the light of her phone to look inside. Then she muttered a quick spell under her breath and slid a hand down his shirt and pressed two fingers over his heart, wincing at the clammy skin and making another note. Finally, she wiped her hand on his jeans and put a hand to his forehead, whispering another spell as she did so.

"Don't touch the hat," he growled suddenly and she gave him a sharp look before taking her hand away and stepping back.

The potion was having an effect on him, physically as well as mentally. His breathing was heavier, he was sweating like a pregnant nun and he looked pale. Which was very disappointing because that meant she couldn't sell this new potion. It was all well and good to warn of side effects from overuse but a potion that caused ill health after only one spray was a lawsuit waiting to happen.

He was still under her control for the most part but his emotions were pushing through. She could probably order him to stop being so short with her but bottling up his feelings might cause them to build enough for him to fight her again. Better to just put up with it. She could handle his attitude, sighs and snaps just as long as he did what she said.

She would have to keep a close eye on him but in the meantime she ordered him to buy the appropriate jerky and then they entered the woods and left the food on the ground, waiting for the magical creature to come, Jenna asking some questions while they sat and watched the snack. Unfortunately, that meant she had to put up with more stories about his friends and family but she had to take the good with the bad.

After a few minutes they saw a stampede of animals fleeing and felt the ground shake before a huge creature of testosterone, muscles and beer belly came soaring through the air to land beside the jerky, which he proceeded to gobble up, Jenna's jaw dropping at the sight of the mighty creature.

"Hey, Chutzpar," Dipper said nonchalantly, getting to his feet and walking towards the fearsome monster. "How's it going?"

"Destructor!" the monster called out in pleasant surprise as it finished the last strip. "I am doing well, as are all my brothers and my uncle."

"Hey, that's good," Dipper said, nodding his head. "Anyway, I have someone here who wants to speak to you."

Chutzpar turned to the other human, the dark haired female staring in awe at the Manotaur. "Greetings, human woman," Chutzpar said, licking his palm and trying to smooth down his hair before sniffing his armpits, making sure that he was musky enough to approach the female.

"Uh - hi," Jenna managed, finally finding her voice again. Reading and listening to stories about the creatures was one thing, but seeing them up close was something else entirely. "I, uh, I was wondering if you could help me get some things? Like, I need samples of your hair and-"

"Oh, sure, here you go," Chutzpar said, tearing a fistful of hair from his chest and passing it to the sorceress. "Anything else?"

"Uh," Jenna said, gingerly holding the clump away from her and watching with fascination as the hair grew so fast and thick on the beast's chest that within seconds it looked as if none had been removed. "Well, while I've got you here, why not also get some skin and blood? Plus your horns look pretty nice so-"

"Well the skin and blood's no problem but I can't give you my horns," Chutzpar said, frowning and glancing at Dipper. "They're attached to my head and even we get hurt when they get broken. Why do you want this stuff? Destructor, you smell funny, are you okay?"

"Tell him you're fine and just tired," Jenna commanded the boy.

"I'm fine, just tired," Dipper muttered, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Good boy. If anyone asks a question like that just give that answer. If they probe any further then come up with something, you should be clever enough to do that."

"Okay," Dipper mumbled.

"Wait, I know what's going on here," Chutzpar said, his eyes narrowing as he glanced between the humans. "Your will has been weakened. You are doing everything she asks without question, even when it makes you miserable. You two are married!" He slapped the boy on the back and sent him flying. "Congratulations!" he cried. "You have my pity," he added sombrely, helping the bruised and aching boy to his feet.

"Ugh, no," Jenna said, shaking her head and sticking her tongue out in disgust as she stepped closer to the Manotaur. "I'm more into tall, dark and brooding. Shorty isn't my type. Now, are you sure we can't do anything about those horns?" she asked, the creature swaying as she waved a wrist at him, her sweet smell suddenly overwhelming him. "I mean, it would make me very happy if I had them. And you'd like to make me happy, wouldn't you?"

"Yes," Chutzpar said, his eyes wide as he saw the beauty of the female in front of him. "But I can't pull them off. They are super strong and manly. Like me! I'll go find a mountain and ram it until they break off!"

"That won't be necessary," Jenna said quickly as the beast prepared to launch itself into the air. "I'll use this," she said, taking one of his hairs and blowing on it, giving it a golden glow as she held it between her fingers. "Now lower your head until I can reach you."

"Magic is scary and bad!" Chutzpar said, eyeing the golden hair with concern.

"No it isn't," Jenna told him, standing on his knee to reach his horn, using the hair as if it were a wire saw.

"No it isn't," Chutzpar agreed as drops of blood fell onto his beard.

"Hey, you're hurting him!" Dipper cried in alarm.

"Must be some arteries inside," Jenna muttered as she continued sawing. "Tell him I'm not hurting you," she commanded the Manotaur.

"She's not hurting me," Chutzpar said loyally. "Ow. Ow."

"Shut up!"

"Okay."

"Look at that blood!" Dipper snapped. "Manotaurs might be tough but if you hit the wrong artery of vein you could kill him! Do you even know what you're doing?" he demanded.

Jenna stopped sawing and gave him a sharp look. Then she jumped of the Manotaur's knee and approached him.

She watched the boy carefully as she drew her potion, considering his glare and the tone he had used when he had challenged her. She hadn't expected him to need a dose again, too much of any potion could be dangerous. Super strength could lead to breaking your own bones. Advanced speed could make you age several years in the space of a few days. If she overdid this then it could permanently affect him, mentally or physically or both. She didn't want to hurt him too much, he would be of no use to her then and a dead child was always bad for business. But she didn't like the way he was looking at her.

"Dipper," she said. "Keep your eyes open."

He did as she asked, hissing in pain as the spray hit him until she told him to be quiet.

"There's a good boy," she said as his eyes burned. "Now, I want you to go home. You're going to have your dinner, act pretty normal, brush your teeth and shower. Tell me, do you stay up late researching sometimes?"

"Yes," Dipper grunted. "A lot of the time."

"Perfect! In that case, you can translate all those notes for me tonight when everyone else has gone to bed. I want them all finished by tomorrow morning, okay?"

"Okay," Dipper said, wincing.

"And tomorrow, right after your breakfast, you can come see me. I'll be waiting in the park, at the bench beside the swings and monkey bars. Be there for nine with the translated notes. Just make sure you shower, change clothes and use plenty of deodorant before you leave," she added.

"Okay," Dipper hissed, gritting his teeth.

She glared at him. The extra dose should have been enough, why was he still so aggressive towards her? It should at least have delayed his attitude but he was just standing there, growling his replies and giving her that stare, he wasn't even-

"Oh," she said as realisation struck. "You can blink now," she told him.

Dipper let out a relieved breath as he rubbed his dry eyes, whimpering from the pain.

She rolled her eyes, waving her hands at him dismissively. "Right, beat it, kid, I've got ingredients to gather. Now where was I?" she muttered as the teenager obeyed her commands.

"You were sawing off my horn and causing me great pain," Chutzpar said helpfully.

"Ah, yes, so I was," she agreed, stepping up on his knee again. "And after I'm done with this there are a few more things you can do for me," she told the Manotaur as she resumed sawing. "You can grab some gnomes and I can use your strength to tackle the more dangerous creatures around here. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Yes," Chutzpar grinned. "But anything you tell me to do sounds like fun to me."

"That's what I like to hear," Jenna said, humming to herself as she thought of all the potions she could make.

* * *

Soos waved goodbye to the last group of tourists for that day. When they were gone from sight he looked around to check that there was no one else around and let his shoulders sag, removing his fez and rubbing his hands through his short hair.

What was wrong with him? He should have been happy. He was happy! He had his own business, he was engaged to the girl he loved, why was he acting like this? Why couldn't he just let it go?

He sighed again and made his way to the back porch, dropping onto the sofa and staring out at the trees. He sat there for a while, lost in his own thoughts until he saw a familiar figure approach.

"Oh, hey, dude," Soos said, raising his hand to Dipper. "You been at the library all day again?"

"Uh, mostly," Dipper said, rubbing his eyes and wincing.

"Dude, you gotta stop staring at that screen so much," Soos said, not bothering to hide the worry in his voice. "Give yourself a break. You work yourself too hard sometimes."

"Hm," Dipper said, sounding unconvinced.

Soos watched his young friend open the door to the Shack before he called out to him. "Hang on a sec, dude." Soos, slid over to make more room on the sofa before patting the seat next to him. "Come on, let's talk a bit. We don't get to do it as much since I'm so busy being Mister Mystery. It'll be just like old times."

Dipper stopped, staring at the door with a blank expression for a moment before closing it and joining him. "This is something I would normally do," Dipper said as he sat down.

"Yep," Soos declared happily. "You would normally sit down and talk to me if I asked you to. Saying you would do it is a bit unusual but, hey, glad to see you trying new things."

"I'll make a note of that," Dipper said, rubbing his head aggressively.

"You okay, dude?" Soos asked. "Your eyes are pretty red and that's one heck of a massage you're giving yourself there."

"Eyes are sore," Dipper agreed. "And my head hurts. I was at the library for a long time, on the computer like you said. And I'm...angry. And tired. And I just feel super down. Really down," he said quietly.

"This about that research you were doing on that sorceress?"

"Uh, yeah," Dipper said slowly. "I think I learned as much as I could. I'm disappointed in myself. I told people that I could do it on my own but now I can't. I'm such a failure," he sighed.

"Dude, you're not a failure," Soos said. "Look, it's okay to think you can do something and then need help. I mean, look at that time you and Wendy asked me to fix the golf cart. I thought I could do it by myself but I ended up asking you and Wendy to help me with some of it. And you guys weren't disappointed or whatever, I think you guys even enjoyed it."

"That was a good day," Dipper agreed. "But what will Ford say? I can't let my hero down."

"Dude," Soos put a hand on his shoulder. "You won't let him down. He'll feel proud of you for doing so much and then being smart enough to ask for help. Listen, dude, I was super scared of what Stan would say every time he asked about the Shack. I mean, I try as hard as I can but I've still not made the money that Mister Pines did when he was running things. But the way I see it, Mister Pines wouldn't have given me this job if he didn't believe that I could do it. And none of us doubt you either. It just means the job's harder than expected. If I can ask Mister Pines for help and not feel like a disappointment then you can do the same for the other Mister Pines."

"I guess," Dipper muttered. "I just wish I wasn't such a loser."

"You're not a loser," Soos said, surprised by the misery in the young teen's voice. "I mean, you and Mabel did loads last summer, all that cool stuff in only a few months, that was awesome, dude! Look, I get that you're doubting yourself. I mean, I bet even Wendy and Mabel do it sometimes, you know them better than me. I definitely do it, dude. Even - even right now," he said, looking at the fez in his hands.

"I'm, uh, I'm having doubts about the wedding, dude," he admitted, barely able to whisper the words. "It's like it's just too perfect, you know? I mean, I'm Mister Mystery, I've got the best girl in the whole world who wants to spend her life with someone like me. She can do so much better, dude. She deserves someone famous or heroic like a doctor or an actor or a Japanese high schooler with powers. I mean, I know this is a terrible thing to say, but a big part of me thinks that it's some big prank," he said quietly.

"Like Melody's gonna wait till the priest asks her to say 'I do' and then she's going to just laugh in my face and then Bill's going to show up and reveal we never left that bubble. Abuelita said I shouldn't be so worried. That when we do get married, all of these scary thoughts are going to go away. But what if they don't, dude? I keep freaking out and worrying that one day Melody's going to realise that marrying me is one big mistake." He sighed. "That I'm just a big joke and she can do better."

"All of life is a joke," Dipper said in a dejected voice. "We're all just onlookers to forces and events beyond our control or understanding. Thousands die each day; criminals, heroes and bystanders, all from violence, disaster or disease and for reasons ranging from petty to stupid. Even the longest and most fulfilling of lives that has touched thousands is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Empires rise and fall in the blink of an eye to our planet's lifespan. If there is a God then he created us for his own amusement, not for some grandiose plan. We are but toys or playthings that have as much value as a single piece of Lego does to the whole of humanity."

There was silence between them as Soos stared at his young friend.

"I think I know what you're trying to say," he said after a long time had passed. "You're saying that I shouldn't be worried about the bigger picture and I should just focus on the little things that make life worth living." Soos nodded with newfound determination. "That each day could be my last and live it to the fullest. That I shouldn't worry about what good I could have done, whether I could have been a lawyer or a doctor or even a superhero's butler, that I've done my best for those around me and that's enough. You're right, one Lego might not seem like much to the whole world, but every structure is made of little pieces, you don't need to stand out to be part of something great! That if God made me as a joke then that's great because jokes cheer people up and can bring them together! You're telling me that I matter and I'm worthy of the happiness I'm receiving!"

He threw his arms around the young teen and squeezed him tight, Dipper grunting from the pressure. "Aw, thanks, dude!" Soos cried in appreciation. "You've really helped me! Pterodactyl Bros for life!" he yelled, throwing his arms into the air and running back into the Shack. "Melody! I love you! I'm sorry I've been so down lately, I was just worried! But now I know I'm going to be the best husband I can be! Even better than that!"

"Happy to help," Dipper sighed as he got to his feet, following his ecstatic friend into their home, wincing as his head throbbed. He glanced at the notes he had taken from the lab and wondered if he would get any sleep at all tonight. But Jenna had asked him to decipher them and her wants were more important than his needs. So he closed the door behind him, said hello to Mabel and Melody as they surrounded the now cheerful Soos and made his way upstairs to get started, mentally preparing himself for a night without sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Mabel and the Ramirezes stared as Dipper devoured his breakfast with such speed that it even put Mabel and Soos to shame.

"You, uh, you okay, Dipper?" Soos asked him nervously. "I mean, you haven't been possessed by some old dude have you?"

"Nobody would want my body," Dipper grunted as he briefly paused inhaling his food to drink his orange juice as quickly as if he had just come from the Sahara. "Heck, I don't even want my body most of the time."

"Bro, you look exhausted," Mabel said, Abuelita nodding in agreement. "You're so pale! Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Didn't have time," Dipper grunted, returning to the food. "I had too much to do."

"You work yourself too hard," Abuelita said quietly, refilling his orange juice and watching the young teen with concern. "A boy your age needs rest, you are still growing."

"I'll sleep later," Dipper said, reaching forward and taking Soos' coffee, his face contorting with disgust as he took his first gulp. "This will do until then," he said, gagging slightly before taking several more gulps.

"Listen, Dipper," Mabel began slowly as Dipper passed the empty mug back to Soos, "I think Abuelita's right. Take a break from the whole Jenna thing. Or at least ask one of us for help, I can-"

"It's not about that," Dipper said, rubbing his tired and bloodshot eyes. "I promised someone I'd do something for them and I can't let them down."

"Who, Ford? He'd understand if - wait, is this that new friend Wendy mentioned? I should totally come with you! I'll give them Mabel's Guide to Gravity Falls!"

Dipper blinked in confusion as his sleep-deprived brain struggled to make sense of what his sister was saying. "Uh, no that - that's a bad idea," he said, watching his sister deflate. "I mean, she wouldn't like that. She's shy and doesn't like new faces or, uh, boisterous people and I-"

"She?" Mabel's eyes narrowed as she suddenly noticed that eating habits weren't the only thing out of the norm regarding her brother. "Wait a minute. You've changed your clothes! Normally when you shower you just put your old ones back on! And is that some deodorant I smell?"

"Showered, changed clothes, used deodorant," Dipper nodded as he ran the checklist off in his head. "Jennnnifer asked me to. Her name is Jennifer Spoon," he clarified.

Mabel gave a slight chuckle as she grinned at the others. "Uh oh! Dipper's started to care about his hygiene! Better watch out or people will think you've found a new crush," she joked.

"Yes," said Dipper,

Mabel gave a disbelieving snort. "What do you mean, 'yes?'"

"Yes, she is," Dipper said absently, gathering the notes he had translated from the night before. "She's, uh, she's interested in the supernatural and I'm interested in her. She's also great and beautiful," he added, almost as an afterthought. "I thought you'd be happy that I'd finally moved on from Wendy?" he asked, seeing his sister's expression.

"Well, yeah, I mean, great that that's finally happened, but - but what about Pacifica?" Mabel asked, unable to understand how her brother could be so casual about this.

"What about Pacifica?" Dipper asked, getting up from the table as Soos became more and more uncomfortable with the conversation, in opposition to his grandmother who was watching the scene in front of her with captivated interest. "Thanks for the food," Dipper added as he dragged the bike out from the closet near the kitchen

"Why haven't you moved on to her?" Mabel demanded, watching him carefully.

Dipper shrugged as he opened the door to the outside. "Why would I when Jennifer's there?"

"That's not an answer!" Mabel snapped as she followed him, Abuelita following them both. "What makes this Jennifer so special? Is she prettier than Pacifica?"

"No, Pacifica's much prettier," Dipper answered, putting the notes in the basket.

"Then she's prettier than Wendy?"

"How can she be when Wendy's more attractive than Pacifica?" Dipper asked, giving his sister a genuinely puzzled look.

"Well that's a matter of opinion depending on your preferences," Mabel said, annoyed that her brother was once again messing up her preferred ship. "I mean, Pacifica's boobs are bigger!"

"Yeah, but Wendy's butt is bigger and I'm more of a butt guy," Dipper said simply, adjusting the straps on the helmet so it would fit his larger head.

Mabel let out a groan of frustration as Dipper balanced himself on the bike. "Well at least you're finally interested in a girl closer to your own age," she muttered.

"Actually, she's a year older than Wendy," Dipper corrected her as he pedalled towards town.

"I - that - you-" Mabel clutched her head in frustration as she watched her brother's shrinking figure. "That's my bike!" she screamed at him eventually, too late for him to hear her. "You jerk!" she added, just because.

Mabel shook her head and returned to the Shack and her breakfast, Abuelita still following her, the older woman smiling broadly at having witnessed such a dramatic scene so early in the morning before any of her shows aired.

"Ugh! Boys!" Mabel growled as she ate, her annoyance so great she took much longer to finish than normal since she kept pausing to make several other comments as Abuelita hovered nearby, hoping there might be more yet to come.

When she had finally finished her breakfast she set about preparing the food for her little pink pet, Waddles waiting patiently since his master was kind enough to give him some of whatever she had before she prepared his proper meal.

"Why can't more boys be like you, Waddles?" She asked as she watched him eat. "You're so simple and just do what you're told. Except when you don't, but you're so adorable I don't even care when that happens."

Waddles oinked in a piggy way that Mabel immediately took as his way of agreeing with his master and also complimenting her in the most delightful way.

"Aw, thank you, yes, I am beautiful and amazing. But what was up with Dipper? Who is this mystery lady? I need to stalk - I mean investigate them to make sure that she doesn't lead my poor brother astray." Mabel frowned as she thought of what Dipper had said. "Let's see, older than Wendy, into the occult? Hang on, he said she was beautiful but then he said not as pretty as either Wendy or Pacifica...how does that work? Who is this Jennifer Spoon?"

Mabel tapped her chin as she thought, something else striking her as odd. When Dipper had first said her name he had dragged it out, as if he was struggling to remember something. But why would he-

"Oh," Mabel said as a chill ran down her spine. "Oh no! I've gotta get the team together! Soos! We've got a problem!"

Abuelita gave a satisfied smile as the young girl ran from the room, giving a quick glance upwards and giving a brief prayer of thanks under her breath before she sat on her favourite chair. A sibling disagreement, a mysterious new love interest to further complicate the love triangle and now a gathering of allies? This was a good day for her favourite soap opera.

* * *

Jenna sat at the bench in Circle Park and waited for the boy to bring her what she wanted. Her laptop was on her knees with a coffee beside her to help wake her up. She hadn't slept as much as she wanted. She had been too focused on testing her ingredients to realise the time and before she knew it, it was already three in the morning. But it had been worth it.

After she had removed the horns from the Manotaur, she had asked him to convince a few of his brothers to come see her too, giving her four more of the muscle-bound beasts. After she had removed all the skin, nails, hair, blood and horns she wanted she had asked them to find a few more wild creatures and soon she had feathers, claws, horns, tails and talons of creatures she had long thought extinct.

They hadn't found her any gnomes yet but she wasn't too bothered about that now that she had so many more interesting creatures to locate and categorise. When the Manotaurs had brought back her first Kill Billy and goblin, tiny bearded men had quickly become boring. And it wasn't as if she didn't have plenty to keep her busy in the meantime. In fact, she'd had to arrange for several crates worth of the ingredients to be shipped back to her office that morning and was expecting more to go out today. She'd tasked her newfound henchmen to find more creatures for her during the night since the boy had mentioned that some were nocturnal. She was due to meet with them in the afternoon, after the boy returned and gave her the translated documents.

As if on cue, she heard the sound of a bike approach and looked up to see Dipper Pines jump off it, handing her the translated notes. "Here you go," he panted, looking pale and exhausted, rubbing his chest and wincing painfully.

Jenna took the notes and scanned him up and down. "You look terrible," she noted, leaning forward and giving him a quick sniff. "But you smell better so that's something. Here," she passed him a sheet of paper and a pen. "This is a questionnaire I made to check your progress. Fill it in and be honest," she commanded him.

"Okay," Dipper said, taking the paper and pen and sitting down next to her.

She looked over his translated notes for a few moments until she realised his heavy breathing wasn't getting any better. "Go sit on another bench!" she snapped, glaring at him. "Come back when you're done! Give me a little peace and quiet."

"Right," Dipper grunted, sliding off the bench.

"Oh, but before you go…"

Dipper turned back to her and cried out in pain as the spray hit his face, dropping him to his knees as his tired and sore eyes ignited in his skull, the flash of colours burning his brain.

"Oh shut up," she commanded as he writhed.

The boy did as he was told, not even a whimper escaping his mouth as Jenna paused typing up the notes he had made, thinking carefully. "Hey, hold on a sec. I have a question for you. I made some potions last night. But I need to test them. Do you know where I can find a couple of guys who'd be easily swayed by my perfume? It's better if they're young and they need to like girls."

Dipper got to his feet and considered that question, his mind sluggish and his body sore. "Yeah," he said eventually, his eyes more red than white. "I can think of a few people who fit that description. Want me to ask them to come here?"

"Why yes, yes I would," she said with a smile. "I knew there was a reason I kept you around."

"Just...just glad to be of service," Dipper grunted, rubbing at his temple as another migraine struck. But he said nothing about that, only pulling out his phone and making the necessary texts before walking over to the bench and answering the questions Jenna had made, listing the many aches and pains and describing the spreading weariness that was infecting his thoughts.

When he was done he returned them to Jenna who read over what the boy had written, her frown deepening the more she read.

When she was done she looked him over and checked his pulse, heart and thoughts again, noting his rapid deterioration. "Did you get any sleep at all last night?" she asked him.

Dipper shook his head. "Didn't have time. Had to translate them properly then be here for nine. Just like you asked."

Jenna frowned. Even if the potion had complications his health shouldn't be this bad. Was it the lack of sleep? The added strain of cycling all the way here? Maybe it was a physical impact on his body from the effort of resisting, similar to a body rejecting an organ transfer? Too many questions that she wanted to be answered.

"Here they are," Dipper said suddenly, interrupting her thoughts and pointing to a group of teens that were running towards them, armed with a series of makeshift weapons.

"Alright, dude, where's the goblins?" Lee asked, the first to arrive with his longer legs, a tire iron at the ready.

"Yeah, we're gonna show those little green freaks not to mess with our friends!" Nate added, a baseball bat in hand. He looked around the park, empty save for the teenagers. "Uh, where are they? They aren't invisible, are they?"

"Ugh, please don't say that!" Thompson gasped, panting heavily and holding the hammer in front of him. "Stay back you invisi-goblins!" he yelled, giving it a few swings. "Back!"

"Yeah, these will do," Jenna said, nodding approvingly as she considered the teens.

"There's one more to come," Dipper said, looking around the park as Lee and Nate gave him curious looks. "There he is," he said, nodding towards two figures approaching on a bike.

"Where are the goblins?" Robbie asked, setting his bike down and resting his guitar case beside it before taking one of the shovels from Tambry. "And where's Wendy and your sister? Shouldn't they be here too?"

"I thought I told you only boys!" Jenna hissed, leaning closer to Dipper. "Does she like girls at least?"

"No," Dipper said, giving the sorceress an annoyed glance. "They're a couple. They must have been having breakfast or something when I texted him and he decided to bring her."

"Well at least you brought me some of what I asked," Jenna sighed. Her eyes returned to Robbie. "And a little bit more," she said, her gaze lingering on him appreciatively.

"Uh, what's going on?" Robbie asked, looking at the seemingly paranormal free park. "Where's the goblins?"

"There aren't any," Dipper told them. "I lied."

"WHAT?"

"Oh come on!"

"Dude, I'm all for pranks but couldn't you at least wait till it was later in the day?"

"Yeah, what the hell, kid?"

"Wait, guys, wait!" Lee threw an arm out to stop the series of complaints, looking Dipper up and down. "Look at Dr Funtimes. He - he doesn't look too good."

The others stopped and paid more attention to the boy, their anger, hunger and weariness fading as they noticed his pallid complexion, heavy breathing and the strange look in his bloodshot eyes.

"Dipper?" Tambry asked him quietly. "Are you okay?"

"No," Dipper said honestly. "I hurt. My weak body is failing me even more than usual but who cares? Life is meaningless. I'm doomed to an existence of anxiety and loneliness, disappointing everyone that I care about and never amounting to anything."

"Goddammit, Robbie!" Nate snapped, turning on his friend. "You've turned him Goth! Well done!"

"Hey, don't turn this on me!"

"Yeah, I don't think Robbie's to blame for this," Thompson said. "I mean, Dipper's way more gothic and extreme than Robbie ever was."

"No he isn't!" Robbie snapped. "I'm way more excessively dark. Listen to this!" He cleared his throat. "Life is a dark and miserable road, full of branches that cut you, draining your very life essence and adding even more dread to a weary journey, one that seems without end and is as meaningless as turning back for those same thorns will still be there to cut you again. See! Way more dark and edgy."

"Heh, yeah, that was nice," Jenna agreed, giving him a smile that made Tambry narrow her eyes suspiciously.

Dipper scoffed. "What do you know about misery? You've grown up with friends. Most of my life I've only been Mabel's weird brother, the one none of our classmates back home want to talk to. Soon I'll be in High School with no one to rely on but my sister, all my other friends in a different state. And at least you've found love. What have I got? An unrequited crush on a girl way out of my league. I should be content that someone as amazing as Pacifica seems to like me but I can't push aside my own selfish desires for Wendy. She wants to be friends and that should be good enough for me but I still want more, wishing for something that will probably never happen." Dipper sighed. "They both deserve better than someone as callous as me. I'm going to die all alone with a life fraught with regrets and loneliness. You've no idea how lucky you are," he muttered darkly.

"Whoah, he totally wrecked you in the self-loathing department," Nate muttered as even Jenna stared at the youngest teen.

"Guys, I'm worried about the little guy," Thompson admitted anxiously.

"Eh, he'll be fine," Jenna said dismissively, moving between Lee, Nate and Thompson, the three boys blinking rapidly and staring at her giddily as they caught her scent. "I think. But while you three are here, why don't you help me out with a little errand?"

"Uh, who are you?" Tambry demanded, her glare intensifying as the newcomer walked up to her boyfriend, Robbie growing uncomfortable from Jenna's stare.

"So you're a musician?" Jenna asked playfully, ignoring Tambry as she waved her hand in front of his face. "Why don't you play me a song?"

"Uh, no thanks," Robbie said, leaning backwards as she moved a little too close. "Um, I'm good. I mean, I only really play music for my girlfriend. Who's right here," he added, gesturing wildly to Tambry. "This is Tambry. My girlfriend. Who is right here."

"But don't you think I'm much prettier?" Jenna said, waving her wrist in front of his face again and trying to press herself against the tall boy until Robbie took a step back..

Robbie shook his head as the sweet perfume hit him, coughing slightly. "Uh, no?" Robbie said, wondering why it couldn't have been this simple when he was single. "Tambry's way hotter. Not that you're not hot! I mean you're pretty but - I - uh-" Robbie looked between the two women in a panic as Jenna frowned and waved her hand in front of him again. "I mean you're still pretty but - can you please stop coming so close?" he asked desperately. "I'm in a relationship and I'm super happy!"

"Why isn't this working!" Jenna demanded, glaring at her wrist. "You lot!" she snapped, glaring at the other teen boys. "Who's the most beautiful girl in the world?"

"You are," Thompson, Lee and Nate droned loyally.

"Wendy," Dipper answered immediately.

"SHUT UP!" Jenna returned to the perplexed couple. "What is wrong with you?" she demanded.

"Hey, you're the one trying to make a move on me when I've already got a girlfriend!" Robbie snapped back, irritated and alarmed by her sudden change in attitude.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Thompson snapped, Lee and Nate glaring at their friend.

"Wait, what's going on here?" Robbie asked, growing nervous.

"Dipper, seriously, are you okay?" Tambry asked as the young boy clutched his head and groaned.

"He's fine!" Jenna snapped. "They're all fine! We're all happy here so why don't you two just go and make out to a song about funerals or something?" She growled. First the little kid resisted her and now a hottie wouldn't even give her the time of day. True Love? At their age? What were the chances of that? "Ugh, what is it with the men in this town?" she muttered, glancing down at her special potion but deciding against using it. He wasn't hot enough to waste that much money on and even if he were, she needed the rest for the kid and potentially the scientist.

Tambry glanced between her friends and the stranger. "I'm calling the police," she said, finally. "You better stop what you're doing or else you'll be sorry," she warned her, putting the device to her ear.

"Oh no you don't!" Jenna snapped, Tambry's phone dying as the sorceress made a gesture.

"Hey! What did you do?"

"Crap, we'd better get Wendy and Mabel!" Robbie said, dragging his girlfriend away from the group.

Jenna clenched her teeth as the suddenly much less attractive teen retreated from her. She couldn't hurt them - she didn't need that kind of attention yet, not when there was still more to do. But delaying them - that was something different entirely. "Boys?"

The other teens all turned to her, even Dipper, still clutching his head. "I don't want them to leave yet," Jenna told them. "Do whatever it takes to keep them here."

Robbie looked up in alarm, barely getting his bike upright before someone tackled him and sent him tumbling to the ground. He could barely hear Tambry's scream over the sound of his face getting struck again and again and again.

* * *

Mabel and Soos made several calls and they had all come running, her Grunkles, Wendy, Candy, Grenda and Melody. She had also called Pacifica and even Gideon, reasoning that they had proven useful allies in the past and the more she invited the better. She had even tried to summon Wendy's friends too but none of them seemed to be answering for some reason.

When they eventually arrived, she told them all about her brother's strange behaviour that morning and the night before, his pale skin and obsessive translating and his fixation with a mysterious older girl. She listed all of these and more off the chalkboard she had rolled into the living room where everyone gathered around her to listen to her suspicions.

"And I bet it's that magic lady who did that freaky ghost body swap with me, Wendy and Paz!" Mabel finished with an alarmed yell, slapping the chalkboard for dramatic effect.

"Don't call me that."

"Shut up, Northwest, this is important," Wendy said, ignoring the glare that comment had earned her. "What makes you so sure it's her who's making Dipper act this way?"

"Well it makes sense, doesn't it?" Stan grunted. "Jenna and Jennifer? Similar name, makes it easy to remember if you're trying a fake identity. Trust me, I know all about that."

"But are you sure he hasn't just developed feelings for someone else?" Ford asked his great-niece. "If he's found a girl who's also interested in the supernatural then maybe he just finds her attractive in a more...intellectual capacity?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Wendy snapped, Pacifica smirking beside her.

"I think he called you dumb," Grenda whispered to the oldest teen, Pacifica's smile broadening.

Wendy glared at Ford, the scientist turning red and trying to clarify that that wasn't what he meant until Mabel drowned his stutters out.

"No way," she said, shaking her head. "He couldn't just move on like that. He's too stubborn! And it wasn't just that, it was the way he talked about her. It was so matter-of-fact, like having a new crush was obvious! He wasn't awkward or shy or weird, he just talked about her casually. I mean, even when I mentioned Pacifica's boobs, he just said that Wendy's butt was better and didn't turn red or anything! What more proof do you need?" She returned to the chalkboard, ignorant of the look Wendy gave her. "Woops, forgot to put boobs and butt up there. Hang on, let me fix that."

"Please don't!" Pacifica begged, drawing her knees up and trying to appear as small as possible as the men in the room murmured their agreement and avoided looking at the board or the teenagers. "And why would you talk about that at all?"

"'Cause they're big and I assumed he'd be into that," Mabel replied. "And he is, it just turns out that he thinks Wendy's massive butt is better. But I'm hoping to convince him otherwise," she added, seeing her friend's discomfort and trying to help but only making it worse.

"It is not massive!" Wendy snapped.

Gideon cleared his throat and raised his hand awkwardly. "Uh, actually Mabel, I think that we should refrain from bringing up Pacifica's physical traits so freely," he said, Pacifica nodding desperately beside him. "I think that she is clearly uncomfortable with this and we should respect that and avoid that topic, especially when there is more to her than just her physique."

"What about me?" Wendy asked, turning on him.

Gideon shrugged. "I think you're more angry about it than embarrassed but, sure, if you don't want yours mentioned then we should respect that too."

"Thanks, Gideon," Pacifica said as Wendy muttered something under her breath. "I appreciate that."

"Uh, what's going on here?" Stan asked, glancing between the two former antagonists. "Since when did you two become so pally?"

"Gideon and Pacifica have started to hang out since that time with the cursed gems," Candy explained. "It is a strange friendship, but it seems to work."

"Oy!" Stan grunted, rolling his eyes. "Gideon's working with Pacifica. This could lead to dark days for the Falls."

"That's what I said!"

"Uh, hello?" Mabel said, waving her arms in the air and pointing to the chalkboard. "Who cares about relationship updates when my brother's in danger? I mean, even I'm saying that so you know we have a problem!"

"Right, sorry, Pumpkin." Stan frowned, rubbing the back of his neck as he peered at the board. "Okay, but Dipper was the one doing all the research on this girl. I've no idea what he found out about her." He glanced between Wendy, Ford and Mabel. "What about you, did he tell any of you something about her? What magic she had or anything?"

"Uh, he mentioned that he found a website," Wendy said with a frown. "Uh, Jenna's Magic or whatever. Said she seemed to prefer potions and enchantments and was more of a business woman than anything else."

"Yes, he told me something similar," Ford said as Mabel nodded. "Potions are among the most diverse forms of magic, they can give you powers or create all manner of effects as long as you have the proper ingredients. They're exceptionally difficult to master but you're not risking your health by using too much magic at once. But I'm afraid he's been rather hesitant to give me any further updates. I'm not sure why?"

"Oh, I know!" said Soos, raising his hand desperately. "Pick me! Me! Come on, Doctor Pines, I know!"

"Uh, okay," Ford said, pointing at Soos as the large man pushed his arm towards the ceiling.

"Yes!" Soos said, pumping his fist. "First go at the question! Anyway, Dipper hasn't been talking about the investigation 'cause he's hit a brick wall with it and has been worried that if you find that out then you'll be disappointed in him."

"What? Why would he think that? He's never disappointed me!" He turned to Stanley. "I haven't said or done something, to imply it, have I?" he asked desperately. "I know I was out of this universe for a long time - there hasn't been a phrase I've used incorrectly or some sort of gesture that-"

"Relax, relax!" Stan said, motioning for his fretting twin to calm down. "No, you haven't done anything like that! That's just the way he is - he comes down too hard on himself when he fails at something. Doesn't help that he tends to get too big-headed and thinks he can accomplish everything so easily either. I bet that last bit sounds familiar to you doesn't it?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow that made Ford clear his throat in embarrassment.

"I think that's something all the Pines can relate to," Melody said with a knowing smile as Candy, Grenda and even Mabel giggled.

"Yeah, alright, you got us there," Stan grunted. "So what do you two think we can expect from a magic user?"

"Me?" said Gideon, surprised that Stan had pointed to him as well as Ford. "Why are you asking me?"

"Because you had the second journal and that was full of the magic crap," Stan answered. "Trust me, if I still owned this place I'd just throw you out but you might be useful in helping my nephew. Well, any ideas?"

"Um, maybe a few?" Gideon said glancing at Ford, the pre-teen happy that he would finally be able to discuss magic with the fabled author of the journals, even if the circumstances were not what he had hoped.

"Great," Stan said, getting to his feet as the doorbell rang. "I'll get that. This is a strategy meeting and my strategy comes down to hitting stuff so I vote for whatever plan comes closest to that."

"What if we must decide between multiple plans that involve violence?" Candy asked him.

"Then I vote for whichever plan Gideon's against," Stan grunted as he left the room.

He sighed as he thought of the trouble his great-nephew might be in, his fingers clenching into fists as he entered the hallway. First Mabel and now Dipper. Girl or not, this sorceress had messed with his family and that was something that Stan would not let slide.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Stan snapped as the doorbell rang again and again. "Yeesh, hold your horses will you, you little - Gah!"

Stan jumped in the air as he came face to face with Officer Gloria Mendez, Gravity Falls' only decent cop.

"Hello, Stanley," she said, frowning at the large man. "I came to-"

"Please don't make me help out at the old folks home again!" Stan cried, dropping to his knees. "All they do is complain about everything and talk about how much better their lives used to be! It's like looking at a nightmarish possible future! Why can't you just send poor criminals like me to jail where we belong?" he demanded.

"Whoa, whoa!" Mendez said, holding out her hands. "For once I'm not here for you, Stanley! I'm here about your nephew. He got into a fight and-"

"Dipper?" Stan jumped to his feet so quickly his knees cracked but he ignored the pain. "Is he hurt? You have him? Where is he? "

"Um, no I don't have him but I was hoping that I could talk to you about him," Mendez said slowly. "Apparently he's under, er, mind control and he's been...well, he's done something very naughty." Mendez pointed towards her patrol car where Stan saw two familiar teens standing beside it.

"Your nephew beat up my boyfriend!" Tambry wailed, Robbie wincing from both the volume and the sentence itself as his girlfriend held an ice-pack to his bruised face, a broken nose that had been recently straightened and a swollen eye just the most noticeable of his many injuries.

"Huh," said Stan, staring at the miserable teen. "Guess Wendy was right. I should have put my money on Dipper."


	4. Chapter 4

Officer Gloria Mendez had been in Gravity Falls for almost a year now and still hadn't quite gotten used to the town's strangeness.

It wasn't the gnomes, the testosterone-fuelled minotaurs, the former boy band who lived in the forest or even the other bizarre and sometimes even dangerous creatures that stalked the woods and occasionally ventured into town that still bothered her. She had learned to cope with them in a relatively short amount of time, even if she did still immediately reach for her gun whenever she got a fright or if some of even the friendly larger creatures approached her.

No, the strangest thing about Gravity Falls in her mind were the people.

Everywhere had oddballs, she'd encountered more than she could count when she was a city cop. But for Gravity Falls the normal people were easily the smallest minority group she had ever encountered. The richest man in town was a former hobo hillbilly who now invented robots that could wage wars or make the perfect omelette. The mayor was...unusually excitable. Even the town's police department were two well-meaning idiots who would chase down a litterer in their car with inhuman zeal but would let a purse-snatcher go if they were distracted by a new flavour of ice-cream at the store. Even her title of Officer (misspelled on her badges, thanks to Durland) was a stark reminder of just how ineffective they were as a Sheriff's department.

She had tried to bring a bit more order to the town but it had been a lot easier said than done, especially when she had read about some of the town's stranger laws. One of the most frustrating of these was the ancient Pubescent Warrior Law, stating that teenagers could carry weapons as long as they could prove the weapon was theirs and not something they had taken from their parents without permission. Apparently the law had been created because some lunatic named Trembley had reasoned that, since teenagers were hormone-addled creatures of rage and pent up fury, they should be given weapons to harness these emotions and use them against America's enemies. This list of enemies included wood, Moon People and the Irish.

She had ranted and raved about this particular law to many unfortunate criminals she had put in the back of her patrol car, ignoring their desperate pleas to just take them to jail already. Weapons in the hands of teenagers was not something she liked the idea of, but thankfully most kids didn't use the law. Even the few who did, like Wendy Corduroy and her brothers, knew better than to use their weapons freely and thankfully the law did not include firearms. Still, she had seen too many youth-gangs in the city to ever feel comfortable with it.

So, when she had been sitting in her patrol car enjoying a coffee, cigarette and grilled cheese sandwich and saw a too-familiar trio of teenage trouble-makers run towards the park with items that they were brandishing too aggressively for her liking, she had decided to investigate.

Which was fortunate for Robbie Stacey Valentino as he literally bumped into her as he and his girlfriend fled the park, just moments after he had his butt handed to him by a kid half his size.

"Hey, he caught me off-guard!" Robbie said through a wince, sitting on a chair in the Mystery Shack living room as the gathered group listened to the officer and the couple recount the events that led to their meeting.

"Hold still," Wendy told him as she dabbed at some of the small cuts on his face, life with her brothers giving her more experience than anyone else in the shack when it came to treating fight wounds. "Man, Dipper really did not go easy on you," she said as Robbie turned red from embarrassment.

"Yeah, you look even more dead person-y than usual!" Mabel agreed. "I guess those boxing lessons really paid off! Wait, you didn't hurt him did you?" she said, her eyes narrowing.

"No!" Robbie snapped, seeing that several of them were giving him the same suspicious look. "I mean, I could have if I wanted to!" He amended quickly, fearing that his reputation was at stake but failing to realise that he didn't have one. "Not that I would!" He further amended, as Wendy paused her treatment and he suddenly remembered that he was surrounded by people who cared about the kid way more than him.

"So what happened?" Ford asked. "How did you get away if she ordered the others to keep you there?"

"Well, it was actually because of what Dipper did," Tambry said, frowning. "When he started hitting Robbie, that girl - Jenna? Right, Jenna started screaming at him and ordered him to stop, saying that wasn't what she meant. Then Dipper suddenly turned on her, saying that she should have been more clear or to just do it herself instead of ordering everybody around. He jumped off Robbie and got right in her face about it. He got so aggressive that the guys just left me and yelled at him to leave her alone. I mean, Jenna got so PO'd she even pepper sprayed the poor kid."

"She what?" Stan yelled as Mabel and others gasped, Ford and Wendy clenching their teeth.

"Yeah, he was screaming and everything," Tambry said as Robbie nodded gravely. "While they were distracted with Dipper, I grabbed Robbie and we ran. Figured it would be best to come here for help right away."

"Which is when they bumped into me," Mendez added. "Saw Robbie's face and when I asked them about it, I remembered that Stanford had warned us about a witch and when I showed them the photo you provided they confirmed it was her. I thought about rushing to help the kid but I figured if she had mind control then better not give her access to someone in law enforcement with a gun." She removed her hat and rubbed her head awkwardly as she faced the Pines family. "I - I don't know if that was the right call," she admitted. "It's just - I wanted to help the kid but I'm not used to magic and I'm not sure if I would have made things worse."

"It's okay, Officer Deputy Mendez," Mabel told her gently, despite the fearful knot in her gut. "I think you made the right decision- if she had mind control magic then who knows what she could have made you do?"

"Just Officer," Mendez said, giving her a grateful smile. "That's what it says on the badge, even if it's spelled wrong."

"But it doesn't sound like very good mind-control if she couldn't control Tambry or Robbie at all," Pacifica noted. "And Dipper's started to turn on her so maybe it's wearing off?"

"Actually, judging from what we've heard, this sound more like a love potion than anything else," Gideon said. "You said she waved her wrist in your face? Did she have perfume? Something sweet?"

"Uh, yeah," Robbie frowned. "Very sweet. Practically tried to rub my face with the stuff."

"That would explain why she didn't want Tambry there, it wouldn't work on a heterosexual female," Ford noted. "And it doesn't work on someone who's truly in love either, so that must be why Robbie wasn't affected either."

"Awww!" Mabel, Grenda, Candy and Melody said together.

"Lucky for you or else Tambry would have hurt you worse than Dipper did," Wendy grinned as the couple blushed.

"But Dipper didn't seem to be in love with her like the others," Tambry reminded them, ignoring her burning cheeks. "He seemed annoyed with her pretty early on. And even when Jenna asked who the most beautiful girl was, the guys said her but Dipper just said Wendy and that made her mad."

"Awww!" Mabel, Grenda, Candy and Melody said together.

"Shut up!" Pacifica snapped as Wendy frowned. "Focus on what's important! And why are you joining in?" she demanded, turning to Melody.

"I think it's cute," Melody answered with a shrug.

"That definitely doesn't sound like he's under the influence of a love potion," Ford agreed. "Perhaps a loyalty potion or something similar? I think that's what she hit him with when he started yelling at her, something to bring him further under her control."

"But isn't it good that he's fighting her magic?" Candy asked, concerned by the scientist's tone.

"Not if it means she has to reapply the potion," Ford answered, getting to his feet. "Potions are like any drug - too much too soon can have disastrous consequences. From what I've heard, he's already having some adverse reaction to it."

"Well what are we waiting for?" Grenda asked. "Let's pound this lady into dust for messing with our friends!"

"Do you think they're still at the park?" Stan asked as everyone else got to their feet.

"I'm not sure," Mendez said. "I'll call it in - ask Blubs and Durland to be on the lookout for any of them. Give me your contact details so we can keep in touch if anyone finds them."

"I'll get stuff to block out bad smells so her perfume won't work on you guys," Mabel said helpfully. "I know plenty of ways since I live with Dipper and I'm responsible for cleaning up the kitty litter back home."

She had barely taken her first step towards the kitchen when they all felt and heard the series of impacts outside and the obvious sound of a struggle while a deep, masculine voice called out, "Leader Mabel! Leader Mabel! Come quick! We need your brain magic!"

"Manotaurs?" Wendy muttered as the group exchanged anxious glances. "What do they want now?"

"Wait, we can ask them for their help!" Candy said. "They can leap high and far - we can ask them to search for Dipper."

"Yeah, I think they have their own issues," Pacifica said when they stepped outside and saw the beast-men, five in total. The one called Beardy was at the front while three of his brothers were wrestling with the fifth, this one strangely without horns.

"Oh, hey, Beardy," Mabel said, rubbing her neck as she considered the struggling monsters. "Uh, listen, normally I'd love to help but we've got a problem with Dipper so-"

"That is why we came!" Beardy exclaimed, pointing to his brother. "Both our brothers are under the enchantment of the same foe! Chutzpar came to the mountain yesterday with his horns gone, asking some of us to follow him! When they did, they returned hornless too! All day and night they've been doing the bidding of a woman! And they're not even married! We think he's under some love magic curse!"

"Ah, crap," Stan growled, dragging his hand down his face. "Now she's got Manotaurs under her spell? What the hell are we going to do about them?"

"I think we may still have some of the darts that we used to knock out Daniel Corduroy," Ford said with a frown. "It may take a much higher dose but it's better than nothing. But we still need to locate Dipper before she uses too much potion on him and causes irreparable damage to his young body."

"Hang on, I think I've got an idea," Mabel said, walking towards the enthralled Manotaur. "Hey, Chutzpar! Beardy tells me you've got a lady friend! Wanna tell me about her?"

Chutzpar stopped his struggles to face the young girl, his eyes shining as he thought of his love. "She is amazing, Leader Mabel! She has dark hair and knows much brain magic and magic magic! I love her! She argues with Destructor sometimes but then she always makes him see that she was always right! And she is always right!"

"Uh huh," Mabel said, keeping her expression blank as she nodded. "She sounds really special. Beardy said that you brought some of your bros to meet her. Did she like that?"

"She was very happy when I did that!" Chutzpar said proudly. "She was so happy that she took our blood and hair and horns! It was painful when she took our horns but it made her happy so it was the right thing to do."

"I see," Mabel said, noticing the dried blood on his stumps and neck, her mouth twitching as she thought of her twin. "Well I'd quite like to meet her. And I bet she'd be happy if you brought her even more of your brothers. Do you know where she is so you can take us there and we can all help her? I think that would make her very happy."

Chutzpar's eyes brightened at the thought of bringing joy to his love. "Yes, I would like to do that, Leader Mabel! But I promised her that I would not visit her until noon after I had gathered a fearsome beast! But now these guys won't let me do it!" He snarled and resumed his struggles, even the other Manotaurs struggling to hold him back.

"But don't you want to see her again soon?" Mabel said loudly, the thrashing stopping as her words reached him. "I mean, you just introduce some of us, we can give her gifts to welcome her to the valley, then you can return to finding a monster for her? And that way you get to see her before noon? Doesn't that sound great?"

Chutzpar blinked as his desires struggled for control. Seeing his love early would be great! But she had asked him not to come until she was ready and he didn't want to upset her. But these people would be bringing gifts and that would make her happy, wouldn't it? And he so badly wanted to make her happy…

"Okay, Leader Mabel," Chutzpar said eventually. "I will take you to see her so you can welcome her and give her the gifts."

"Great, now you stay here while we get the gifts, okay? You promise me you won't try and jump away until we're ready?"

"I'll wait, Leader Mabel," Chutzpar said, nodding eagerly. "Please be quick so that I can make my love happy and still have time to find a fearsome beast for her!"

"Okay, we'll be quick," Mabel promised him, nodding at his brothers to let him go and taking Beardy by the hand to include him in the conversation. "I think we've found our way to locate Dipper," she whispered to the others as they watched Chutzpar sit and grin to himself. "He can take her to us and then we'll grab Dipper and hopefully knock her out or whatever. Grunkle Ford, how long will it take you to make more tranquiliser darts and rifles?"

"Not long," Ford said, eyeing the enthralled creature warily. "But I'm still not sure how many it would take to knock out one Manotaur, let alone several. We'd better be quick because if the others arrive we will be in serious trouble."

"Hang on, these guys can break boulders with one blow," Wendy pointed out. "Why don't we get one of them to just smack her over the head and-"

"NO! No! Nonononono!" Beardy said, his voice dropping to a horrifies whisper, waving his arms desperately. "We can't help you fight this enemy! She is one of the most dangerous and fearsome foes known to my people!"

"What, a spellcaster?" Mendez asked.

"Even worse," Beardy grunted, shuddering. "A woman!"

"Hey! That is completely uncalled for and - wait." Mendez looked at the other women, noting their reactions. "Why am I the only one offended by that statement?" she demanded.

"We've met their mother," Mabel explained as Candy and Grenda patted the trembling beast's arms in sympathy. "We'll let it slide."

"Uh, okay," Mendez said, deciding to leave the series of questions that comment raised for another time. "Then how are we going to stop her?"

"I've got a taser?" Pacifica said helpfully, drawing her weapon and activating it. "I could zap her to knock her out?"

"Do you have a license for that?" Mendez demanded.

"I have another question," Mabel said, raising her hand. "Why do you have a taser?"

"A girl's got the right to protect herself!" Pacifica said, Wendy nodding her head in agreement as the blonde reached into her jacket and passed a copy of her license to the cop. "A better question is why don't you have one?"

Mabel blinked. "That is a better question! Grunkle Stan, why don't I-"

"Because your parents wouldn't let you back here if they found out," Stan growled. "Look, I'll take you to the shooting range when you're older, okay?"

"Stupid Trembley and his Pubescent Warrior Laws," Mendez muttered, passing the license back to Pacifica.

"What does she want with their horns for anyway?" Grenda asked. "Is she planning to make earrings or something?"

"The bodies of magical creatures can be used to make very powerful potions," Gideon explained. "Whether she means on selling or using them, they could make her very powerful or very, very rich."

"We'd better get a move on, dudes," Soos said, watching Chutzpar. "The big guy looks like he desperately needs to go and I don't think it's a trip to the bathroom he's after. I hope not anyway, 'cause I mean, look at the size of these dudes! Man, if he does a number two on my lawn-"

"Yeah, okay, let's go," Stan agreed, cutting his former employee off for the sake of the children and himself. "There's five of the guys so who are they carrying?"

"Uh, carrying?" Mendez asked nervously.

"What, you think they'd just walk us there? These guys jump over and through trees, it's how they get around."

"Oh." Mendez glanced at the musky, hulking brutes and then at the Shack, relatively safe of the ground. "Stupid duty," she muttered as she braced herself for what was to come.

"But shouldn't you two stay here?" Candy asked the older men. "You are boys. She can control boys and we do not want her to do that."

"We should be fine if Mabel helps us to block out her perfume," Ford said. "But we have no idea what other magic she has at her disposal so we'd better come along just in case. Besides," he added, "If we do turn against you, then I'm sure that Wendy and Miss Northwest here could detain us before anything too bad happens."

"Yep," Wendy said, giving a determined nod as Pacifica raised her taser again.

"That confirmation was a little too quick for my liking but I suppose it proves my point," Ford said as the brothers shared a glance.

"What about me?" Soos asked. "I mean, I've been electrocuted plenty of times without being knocked out and I'm too big for Wendy to just throw around or pin?"

"I'm pretty sure that if Robbie can resist the perfume then you can too, Soos," Mabel told him confidently. "You're like half of Gravity Falls' number one couple! Well, after Blubs and Durland, anyway."

"Sweet!" Soos cried, punching the air. "Who's the other half?"

"Uh, me?" said Melody.

"Awesome!" said Soos. "That's like a whole power couple! Good thing we're getting married!"

"Okay, uh...let's see, Melody and Gideon, you stay here with Robbie and Tambry," Mabel said. "The rest of us will bring Dipper back."

"Why am I staying?" Gideon demanded. "You could use my smarts!"

"Uh, no offense Gideon, but we already have Ford and Candy for that and I don't think you'll be much good to us if it comes down to a fight," Mabel said hesitantly. "Dipper already beat you up last year and everybody knows how sad that is."

"Hey, he caught me off-guard!" Robbie snapped. "And I was up late last night, alright? If I wasn't so tired I'd have kicked his butt!"

"Actually, Robbie, Mabel told us that Dipper didn't sleep at all last night and it sounds like that magic potion really affected his health," Wendy pointed out.

"...Shut up, Wendy," Robbie muttered, crossing his arms and sulking as he avoided looking anyone in the eye.

"You can get to work on making more of Ford's knock-out drug," Pacifica told Gideon, seeing how crestfallen the boy had become. "Just in case this doesn't work and we need more of it."

"Pacifica is right," Candy said. "We need your magical knowledge in case Ford is injured. We can't lose all of our magical experts at once."

"I suppose you've got a point," Gideon grumbled, brushing his suit in frustration.

Pacifica punched him in the arm. "Hey," she said, giving him a small smile. "Look on the bright side, you're still included in some way. In a few years, after you get some muscles like your dad, you'll be joining us as brains and brawn."

"Don't forget beauty," Gideon said with a smirk.

"Dark days," Stanley sighed, shaking his head as he watched the former villains share a laugh.

"I know, right?" Wendy said, checking the edge of her axe as Soos, Ford and Mabel ran inside to gather the equipment they needed to save the last member of their family.

* * *

Jenna pinched the bridge of her nose in vexation as she considered the thirteen-year old before her. His breathing was worse now and he was drenched in cold sweat. Probably the most disturbing thing about him was the vacant expression he now wore, as if he was staring at something that was miles away. She had to raise her voice to bring his attention back to reality and sometimes she would have to repeat her instructions if she didn't keep them simple.

His mouth and lips were dry, his heart was pounding as if he'd just drank a coffee shop and when she cast a spell to check his thoughts and emotions she didn't even need to touch him now to sense the turmoil. Even worse, there seemed to be more and more moments of an absence in his mind, as if his emotions had worn themselves out and left a vacuum in their wake. That definitely couldn't be good for him.

Even the healing spells she had cast barely helped. She had ordered him to lose his hoodie and to drink plenty of water but that had barely helped. He had even agreed to drop the stupid hat he had been so protective of when she had first met him, letting it drop to the ground without a care as he just stood and stared.

She glanced down at the potion bottle and saw that it was half-way gone already. The problem was that the more she gave him, the worse he got. But he also seemed to be needing it in higher doses and more frequently. It was unfortunate but she couldn't see any way around it. Maybe she should just give up while she was ahead? She had plenty of ingredients already. When the Manotaurs came all she would need is one more shipment in the afternoon and then she'd have enough to do her for the rest of the year. After all, those other two teens had escaped and had probably told the rest of the family about her by now.

Jenna nodded. Wait for the Manotaurs to give her the rest, ship it back to the office and then send the kid on his merry way home with instructions on how to cleanse the magic from his system. She glanced at the other boys. The new potions she had invented for them were working like a charm but then again they had been much more simple than the dominating effect of the one she used on the boy. And simple potions were her bread and butter, she didn't need anything too complex. Any other potions she brewed were primarily designed for very specific situations or just for her own curiosity.

She rubbed her tired eyes and sighed, rethinking her priorities. Maybe she should just summon the Manotaurs now. At least one of them should have snatched a creature and she could always collect more blood and hair from them, they regenerated so quickly that she probably didn't even need her perfume to request it. And she didn't want to be around long enough for the Pines family to find her, especially not after what she had put the boy through. She tore open a package of the favoured jerky and threw it to the ground, glancing back at the boy.

She told him to finish another bottle of water and then to get some sleep, the boy obeying without a word, downing the bottle and then nodding off within seconds. Hopefully the rest would help him a little bit while she checked on the other three and noted with pleasure at their progress. She was just finishing the last of her notes when she heard the impact of a Manotaur landing. "Well that was quicker than expected," she said before she heard several more impacts and felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"We've found her! Scatter boys! Don't catch her scent!"

Jenna swore as she heard the now familiar sound of Manotuars leaping away. "Stay between me and them," she instructed the other teenagers, Lee, Nate and Thompson immediately following her orders. Dipper, who groggily woke at the sound of the impacts, sluggishly got to his feet and did the same, looking no better from just his few minutes of slumber.

"Hey, where are they going?" Chutzpar asked the humans he and his brothers had dropped in the woods, glaring at the vanishing outlines of his fellow Manotaurs. Then he remembered that Jenna was nearby before turning to her, his pupils dilating when they saw her frowning form. "My love!" he cried, not even feeling the impacts as the humans took aim and fired their tranquilisers, the sorceress side-stepping so that the beast was directly between her and them. "I brought friends! And they have brought gifts for you!"

"So I see," Jenna commented, peering under his arms as the humans fired even more darts into his hide. "Be a dear and take their guns away, will you?"

"Well those are actually your gifts but okay!" Chutzpar said brightly as his eyes crossed and he swayed. "I will do that straight away! Right after I...take a...little…" He stumbled and collapsed, Jenna and her thralls taking several steps back just to be on the safe side as fell towards them.

"Let my brother go or we'll do the same to you!" Mabel roared, raising her grappling hook as the Stans, Wendy and Mendez aimed their tranquiliser rifles at the teenagers.

Jenna paused, seeming to consider the threat for a moment. "No," she said eventually. "I don't think you will. Judging by the snores, those weapons aren't designed to kill." She moved closer and nudged Chutzpar's slumbering body with her foot. "And since you used a couple of hundred on this guy, I'm assuming that one should be more than enough to knock out a human. Which means the reason you haven't already shot us and taken your brother is that you wanted to make sure the big guy wasn't under my control, the same reason that you ordered the others to leave. But because of his incredible constitution, you're now out and were just hoping to bluff me. How am I doing?"

"Uh oh, she's like Duck-tective!" Grenda said, alarm in her voice. "We're in trouble now!

"Give us back the kid and we'll let you go!" Ford said, dropping his rifle to draw his laser pistol as his brother brandished a baseball bat that matched the one Soos carried.

"The hell we will! You're under arrest!" Mendez snapped, reaching for her pepper-spray as Wendy and Pacifica nodded in agreement, drawing their own weapons. "I've got you for illegal substances, child endangerment, cruelty to animals and assault! Surrender now and I won't add resisting arrest to that list!"

"I see you've come prepared," Jenna said to Ford, ignoring the officer and taking note of the masks Stan and Ford wore over their mouths and noses. She also noticed that the largest one, Soos, wore a mask but from what the boy had told her about him and his fiancé, she doubted the perfume would have any effect on him anyway. "You can put that down," she told him. "We both know you won't fire. There are innocents between you and me. And even if there weren't, Dipper said your mother raised you to never hit a woman."

Ford hesitated, lowering his pistol as he glanced at his unresponsive nephew, not liking what he saw.

"Dipper!" Mabel called out to her brother. "Come on, Dipper, you were strong enough to resist Mabeland, you can fight this! Dipper?"

Dipper stood still, his breathing laboured as he ignored his sister's calls, his red eyes half-closed as he swayed on the spot.

"Dipper looks awful," Candy whispered, the others nodding or murmuring their agreement as they glanced at their unresponsive friend.

"Guys?" Wendy said, hoping her other friends were in much better condition. "Listen, Dipper - Dipper's sick, okay? Please guys, look at him. Fight her, please?"

"It's no use," Jenna chuckled as Nate, Lee and Thompson only scowled at the redhead in response. "The boys here would die to defend me. Okay, not literally but..." She paused, considering that last statement and glancing at Dipper. "Well, maybe one would. But the others still won't let you hurt me. So let's make a deal. A Manotaur should be coming here very soon and when he does, I'm just going to go with him and take the kid with me. Then, after I've shipped everything home, I'll send the boy back to you. How does that sound?"

"Yeah, I've got a better," Pacifica said. "We outnumber you and I'm pretty sure Wendy by herself could handle those three while Dipper looks like he could topple over any minute. Why don't we just walk over and stop you now?"

"Would you really be willing to go through your friends just to get me?" Jenna asked with a smug air.

"Yes," Mabel said, dashing forward with a yell before the others could do anything, Thompson lunging forward to try and grab her but she only jumped to the side and then used him as a ramp when he missed, launching herself straight at Jenna.

Jenna threw a hand up and the girl froze in the air, still snarling and trying to swim towards her opponent as Jenna gave a relieved sigh.

"Dude, she has the Force!" Soos wailed. "If she's got a lightsaber we're doomed!"

"You'll have to do better than that!" Jenna said with a grin, wiping the trickle of blood from her nose with the back of her hand.

"Challenge accepted!" Mabel cried, firing her grappling hook, the metal projectile hitting the older teen right in the eye.

Jenna swore and pushed with her magic as hard as she could, sending Mabel flying into a tree with such force she crumpled onto the ground.

"Mabel!" Stan yelled, rushing over to her. When he made sure she was alright, he got to his feet and pointed at Jenna with his bat. "That does it!" he roared as Candy and Grenda helped a groaning Mabel to her feet. "Ma wouldn't want me busting your knees but I've no problem letting one of these kids have a go!"

"Don't let them hurt me!" Jenna instructed the teenage boys as the rescuers advanced. "Not you," she said, wincing as she pulled Dipper back with one hand, the other covering her sore eye. "You're my little bodyguard so just keep yourself between me and them," she instructed him as she stepped back until she was against a tree.

"Oh come on, guys," Wendy said rolling her eyes as Lee approached her. "None of you have ever beaten me, do you really want to do this?" Seeing no reaction, Wendy merely sighed and stepped forward to grab Lee, only for him to blur and side-step her, launching a kick that hit her in the stomach and knocked her to the ground.

"Ow," Wendy said, staring up at the sky. "Okay, this might be trickier than I thought."

"Sorry, kid," Mendez sighed, raising her pepper spray towards Nate. "This is going to hurt but I'll make it up to you later." But just before she could fire the spray, the teenager vanished and while she tried to process this new situation, an invisible hand snatched the spray from her and then turned it against her, the officer dropping to the ground and screaming as her eyes burned.

"Nothing personal, Wendy's friend," Grenda said, stepping forward and trying to lift Thompson off the ground, hoping he wouldn't put up too much of a struggle. Instead, Thompson grabbed her by the arms and swung her around, finally letting the yelling girl go and sending her into a tree with such force that several squirrels, pine cones and a gnome fell to the forest floor.

"So that's a gnome," Jenna muttered, eyeing the tiny bearded man with interest. "Note to self: search the trees."

"Watch out!" Ford yelled as he helped Wendy to her feet. "She's given them potions that give them magic powers!"

"Aw gee, ya think?" Stan yelled back as he and Soo stepped between Grenda and Thompson, Candy and a limping Mabel checking on their friend.

"I can't even see mine!" Pacifica yelled, raising her taser as Mendez rubbed her eyes and struggled to get to her feet.

"Yeah, I can barely see ours," Wendy grunted, rubbing her stomach as Lee blurred again and dashed at her, hitting her and then Ford before retreating. "Don't suppose you dealt with any speedsters in you travels?" she asked the scientist, rubbing the shoulder Lee had struck.

"A few," Ford grunted as Lee ran around them. "They were amongst the most frustrating opponents I ever encountered. The good news is they use up so much energy that they usually wear themselves out quickly."

Lee struck again, hitting them both with punches that would normally have been weak but now carried inhuman momentum.

"But I'd rather not wait that long so let's try something else," he said, rubbing his aching jaw and keeping his eyes on the floor. "Trip him with your axe," he suggested.

Wendy tried, sweeping her axe along the ground and as Lee stepped away from it, Ford watched his feet, trying to anticipate his next direction with some quick mental math, launching himself at the teen and knocking him to the ground. Lee struggled and vibrated but Ford wouldn't let up, despite the flurry of blows he received, putting him in a choke-hold and holding it until he felt the tall blond slump in his arms.

"Nice move," Wendy said as Ford panted and gently lowered the unconscious teen.

"Desperate move," Ford corrected her. "Maybe I'll teach it to you sometime."

Stan and Soos worked together, trying to keep Thompson's arms pinned but it was no use, the potion-fuelled teenager just lifted them both with superhuman strength. "Somebody think of something!" Stan shouted.

"This is kind of cool but also scary!" Soos yelled as Thompson tried to throw them off, neither man stupid enough to let go.

Suddenly, a cord shot out, Candy and Mabel holding one end of the grappling hook while Grenda ran forward and grabbed the other, pulling it so it tripped Thompson's legs. When he was on the ground the girls ran round him, past Soos and Stan and over and under each other, until he was tightly bound in the cable.

"Do you think that will hold?" Candy asked, wiping her brow as Thompson struggled against his bonds.

"It'll hold," Stan assured her, brushing at his sleeves. "Trust me, that thing can hold way more than you'd think."

Pacifica waved her taser around desperately, trying to find an opponent that couldn't be seen as Mendez tried to blink her vision clear. Then an invisible hand snatched it from her hand and turned it on the downed cop, the woman letting out another scream before she collapsed. Pacifica launched herself at her weapon and tried to bite the hand wielding it. It felt like she found an arm instead of a hand but she bit down anyway and was rewarded with a hiss of pain and Nate turned his attention completely on her, lifting her off the ground. Pacifica punched and kicked but even with her training it was difficult to strike a foe you couldn't see. But eventually she caught something that must have been a throat and was dropped with a gasping sound. She quickly got to her feet and fired a jab with as much strength as she could muster.

There was a sickening crunch as Nate reappeared, his eyes bulging as he collapsed, cradling himself and whimpering.

"Ew," Pacifica said as she realised what had just happened. "Ew. Ew! Ew, I just punched his boy-bits! Ewewewew!" She danced around, waving her hand in disgust before wiping it on the fallen officer, thankful the woman wasn't in a state to care.

"Well that was...something," Jenna sighed as the gang turned to face her. "I'm not sure if I'm disappointed they were defeated so easily or impressed they lasted that long," she admitted, holding Dipper in front of her as she rummaged through the old-fashioned doctor's bag she used to carry most of her potions.

"Let my brother go," Mabel growled, clutching her side painfully. "We defeated your pathetic cronies - uh, no offense guys - and we'll beat you up even worse if you don't."

"Sorry, but I really hate to lose," Jenna told her, holding a potion between her fingers. "Besides, my ride's here and I'd rather not miss it," she added, glancing up and smashing the bottle on the ground, a thick pink mist flooding the forest and blocking their vision as they heard two heavy impacts.

"She's getting away!" Candy yelled as they coughed and waved at the magical fog, hearing Jenna call out muffled instructions to her Manotaurs.

"No she's not!" Grenda yelled, spotting a gap in the mist. "Candy! We're going high!"

"But I hate going high!" Candy wailed, but this was a dire situation so she jumped in her friend's arms anyway.

Above them, as the Manotaurs soared in the air, Jenna gave a satisfied grin as one carried her and Dipper over the would-be heroes, glancing to her side and pleased to that the other Manotaur had succeeded in-

"Candy missile!"

Jenna blinked and looked down to see something shoot out of the pink mist and barely had time to register the tiny, spectacled face that was flying towards her before Candy reached her, wrestling with her in the confused Manotaur's arms and trying to pull the vacant Dipper out of his grasp.

"Get off me!" Jenna snarled, launching a kick that knocked the small girl off the beast. Candy desperately grabbing the doctor's bag as she struggled to find something that would stop her fall. "No!" Jenna screamed as the younger girl fell anyway, the bag of potions still clutched in her terrified hands as the ground rushed to meet her .

"I've got her, I've got her!" Grenda yelled, running forward with her arms outstretched, her eyes trying to peer through the thickening fog as her friend descended. "Gotcha!" she said triumphantly as Candy landed in her open arms with practiced grace.

"I hate going high," Candy mumbled, trembling as Grenda lowered her.

"What is this stuff?" Wendy asked, stepping into view after following the voices, Mabel and Pacifica close behind her. "It doesn't seem dangerous. And why the hell is it pink?"

"This seems oddly familiar," Mabel said with a frown.

"Hey, I see someone!" Candy said, narrowing her eyes as a small figure approached and became more defined. "Wait, Dipper?"

A pink Dipper Pines, smaller than they had last seen him and wearing his old pine tree hat stepped towards her, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh, hey," he said, coughing into his fist. "I, uh, I never told you how amazing you were when you saved us from that arachnomorph," he said. "That was seriously cool of you. Made me think of you in a whole different light."

"Uh oh!" Mabel said glancing around nervously as other figures appeared in the mist. "Now I remember!"

"Uh, what is happening?" Pacifica growled as Candy turned red and Wendy patted the real pine tree hat on her head to check it was still there.

Mabel sent a fist into the pink Dipper, which evaporated as she struck it. "Don't listen to them!" she yelled. "They're freaky pink visions of our crushes! Just punch them until they go away!" She turned to attack the ghostly apparitions of Sev'ral Timez as Grenda attempted to shake Candy out of her daze.

"Great," Wendy growled, smacking a boy band member, feeling as if she had hit a pillow instead of a real person. "This is a perfect time to be surrounded by Mabel and friends." She glanced around and saw that a few of her own crushes had joined the army, rolling her eyes and kicking and punching, some with a little more satisfaction than needed.

"There's a lot less than I was expecting with your long list of boyfriends," Pacifica commented, kicking one of Mabel's favourite movie stars in the stomach as Wendy uppercut Russ Durham into oblivion.

"I was never really one for crushes," Wendy shrugged. "Boys were more into me than I was into them. But I think we've found one of yours," she grinned, nodding to the side.

Another Dipper Pines stepped forward, wearing a tuxedo with an unfastened bow tie, the top two buttons of his shirt undone in a way that made him look more appealing than usual. He was slightly shorter than he was now, but with slightly less messy hair and he carried a confident smile and manner that made him look more mature and uncharacteristically roguish in his charm.

"Hey," it said with a casual shrug as Pacifica stared. "You've proven to me that you're better than your parents. And that you're more than a pretty face." It reached out and brushed a hand against her cheek, turning her mouth dry. "I mean, you do have a pretty face, don't get me wrong. Beautiful, even. Much more beautiful than-"

Pacifica grabbed the mirage by the wrist and swung it over her shoulder with a yell, evaporating it with the impact of her throw.

"Yeah, that's a surprise to no one," Wendy said, as the blonde looked around in alarm and saw the stares she was receiving. Then she blinked in surprise as a similar figure formed at her elbow, wearing a familiar hat and old clothes, a laser tag vest over his jacket.

"You know, you're not so young anymore," the figure said, a blush at its cheeks. "So it wouldn't be as weird if-"

"Nope, still weird, just for different reasons," Wendy said, flicking a finger into its forehead and causing it to disappear. She paused when she saw the look Pacifica was giving her but only shrugged. "He went back in time and I had a thing for him when I was five. I'm over that now. Besides, he's too short for me," she added with a grin before another figure appeared before her, tall and familiar and smiling.

"Wendy Corduroy," it said, her grin dying as it reached a hand round the back of her head and pulled their foreheads together. "Still the coolest person I-"

Wendy screamed, her axe suddenly in her hands as she hacked the charming apparition to pieces. She stood panting over it, her axe still raised in case it came back, glancing around anxiously until she met Pacifica's eye. "It - it's not what it looks like!" she lied hopelessly.

"I knew it!" Pacifica screamed, pointing an accusing finger at the blushing redhead.

"No! I mean, yeah he was hot but - but he's too old for me! And he was married!"

"Married to who?" Pacifica demanded, her eyes flashing.

"What? I - I assumed it was some lady he met in college!"

"What if it's you!?" Pacifica screamed at her.

Wendy froze, the ramifications of that question hitting her all at once. "I don't want to think about that!" she admitted desperately.

"Uh, are we missing something here?" Grenda asked, scratching her head as Mabel was drowned in crushes.

"Help!" Mabel cried, trying to push an arm through the mass of cute boys. "Help! Having a harem isn't as fun as I thought! Twilight and The Hunger Games have come back to haunt me!"

"COMING!" Wendy yelled too loudly, rushing over and tearing the ethereal boys and men off her friend with a fervour that caught Candy and Grenda off-guard.

"Thanks Wendy," Mabel said as the lost hot boy was torn away from her. "You, uh, you okay?"

"Yep, fine!" Wendy said, shaking her head to focus on the situation at hand, gripping her axe tightly as she scanned for any other visions to attack. "Anybody see any more of the things? Where's Soos?"

"Dudes!" Soos said, stepping into view with a barely conscious Mendez in his arms, the fog thinning as the final apparition died. "I just saw some shirtless hot pink dude with a funny accent try and flirt with Officer Mendez! But I told him that was totally uncool while she could barely speak. She seemed kind of into it, though."

Mendez mumbled something, giggling slightly and trying to lick someone only she could see.

"I have just lost some respect for her," Pacifica said, shaking her head at the officer.

"I have more now!" Grenda said brightly as Candy nodded. "That's my kind of lady!"

"Ugh, I can't believe we lost," Mabel groaned as the last of the pink mist faded.

"It wasn't a total loss," Grenda reminded her gently. "We rescued Wendy's friends. And we found out Jenna was controlling Manotaurs so now we can warn the rest to stay away from her. Stop her from hurting more creatures."

"And we have this," Candy said, holding the doctor's bag aloft. "The sorceress seemed to value this highly, maybe we can use it as leverage for Dipper?"

"Yeah, I guess," Mabel sighed, still downtrodden. Then she saw something familiar on the ground and picket it up.

"Dipper's hat," Candy said sadly as Mabel cradled it. "The one he fought the Kill Billy for. I didn't think he'd ever let it go."

"He loves that thing," Soos sighed, kneeling down and moving Mendez to one arm so he could pull a quiet Mabel close.

"We'll get him back," Wendy told Mabel firmly. "We've got her bag of potions so she can't use any more of them against us. That means we've got an advantage now. Besides, Ford and Stan won't let her get away with hurting him like that."

"Wait, where is Stan?" Pacifica asked.

They looked around the woods, searching for the two older twins.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Mabel sighed as Wendy swore, Pacifica cursed and Soos started to cry.

* * *

_ Author's note: The Pubescent Warrior Law is just my little way of allowing Wendy, Pacifica and Mabel to run around without being arrested by Mendez. (Note to self: give Mabel Grappling Hook license.) Why did I ever try to bring a sane cop into the insanity that is Gravity Falls? What was I thinking? _

_ Well, Mendez is going to be important later for when a certain person's struggling with that thing they're worried about and then Mendez is going to talk to them about her past and makes that suggestion and then that will inspire them to do stuff. Glad I reminded myself about that major moment of character development I have planned for next summer! _

_ Also, in the Special Edition Journal 3, Trembley mentions that he's worried that Irishmen might steal his body when he dies. I am so glad I decided to make Phil Irish! So many jokes at Phil's expense! _


	5. Chapter 5

Several states away from Oregon, a large, overweight cherub reached for his phone, his tiny wings fluttering in time with the ringtone, one of his own songs. "This is the Love God," he said. "Speak to me, babe or dude, I love you anyway! Woo!"

"Hey, Love God!" a cheerful voice said on the other end. "This is Mabel Pines! We met last year in Gravity Falls, remember?"

Love God frowned, his brain still foggy from the chemicals of the last few nights and several years. "Uh, Gravity Falls?"

"Yeah, you know, we met at the Woodstick festival, the one with the flaming head of death that terrified everyone and almost killed you? Good times! Anyway, I was hoping that I could talk to you about-"

"Wait," Love God frowned as a memory surged. "Are you that chick from the van? Don't get me wrong, we had a blast in there, that little guy was appreciatively exuberant, but we agreed that was a one time thing! It's totally not cool of you to just call me out of the blue and-"

"What? No! Ew! No! This is Mabel! The little girl who swapped your love potion for a squirrel and almost got you killed! Man, I don't think I even want to know what you're talking about. Yuck!"

Love God frowned again, trying to remember as the person on the other end made even more noises disgust. "Oh, wait. You're the kid who said she was also a love god and then ignored my warnings to play with people's feelings anyway. How'd that work out for you?" he asked, smiling smugly as he guessed the answer.

"Oh, that went great, thanks for asking!" Mabel said brightly, unknowingly wiping the smile off his face. "Robbie and Tambry are still together and super happy! In fact, some girl even tried to use her magic to seduce him but he was all like, 'nope! Talk to the hand 'cause I'm totally in love and not even magic potions are going to mess up the relationship that Mabel made!' Then my brother beat him up! That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"You called me just to say your brother beat someone up? Hold on, how did you even get this number?"

"I'm very annoying!" she answered happily, Love God scowling at the phone. "You'd be amazed at what people will do to get me to leave them alone. But no, I didn't want to tell you about Dipper, I wanted to talk about the girl with the love potions. See, she's used it on a few of my friends and even some of the boy monsters in town. We tried to get her to stop and, uh, well the good news is we grabbed her bag of magic potions and rescued some of our friends. The bad news is now she's got my brother AND my great-uncles. But before she ran away she dropped a potion that had the same effect as the ones you used on me. Visions of Heartbreak Past? So I was wondering if, just maybe, you also had a run in with her and she swapped some potions for squirrels while your back was turned too? Her name's Jenna, by the way, Jenna Myles? She's seventeen, average height and build, green eyes, really dark hair, likes to wear black, major superiority complex?"

"Huh, yeah, that does sound familiar," Love God said, raising his arms and giving himself an experimental sniff. "But why should I help you? You both got it in your head that you could use my magic better than I could and then stole it, despite my warnings. Why shouldn't I just let you two fight it out amongst yourselves, teach you both a lesson?"

There was silence on the phone for a moment, Love God smiling again as he felt sure she was struggling to come up with an excuse for her actions.

"She's hurting my brother," the little girl on the other end said, very quietly. "He's resisting her and she's hurting him because of that. I know I was selfish before, that I tried to make people happy for my own sake instead of theirs. I deserve punishment for what I've done, I'll be the first to admit that. But she's hurting my family, Mister Love God. They don't deserve this. Please help me."

Love God stared at the phone for a full minute of desperate silence. "Alright," he sighed eventually, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'll help. Give me the full story."

"Thank you," Mabel breathed, and he heard her wipe her eyes.

Love God made himself coffee as he listened and almost the entire pot was gone by the time she finished. "Yep, sounds like the chick I met," he grunted when she had finally finished. "Serious chip on her shoulder. But unlike you, she didn't care about making people happy at all. Seemed to be more into the...science of it, if that makes sense? Like, how to make more, make it stronger or last longer, that kind of thing. Anyway, I told her the same thing I told you: don't mess with people's feelings, leave it to an expert. She didn't listen to me any more than you did."

"Sorry. I, er, I get carried away sometimes," Mabel said miserably. "But I'm trying to be better."

"Yeah, sounds like it," he agreed. "Still, you weren't as bad as her. Pretty sure she tried to poison me when I wouldn't give her a sample. Either that or it was the burrito I ate on the men's bathroom floor on a dare. But it takes more than poison or green food to kill this love god!" He patted his jiggling stomach affectionately. "Woke up in a water fountain in another State dressed like a clown and wearing someone else's underwear over my head. Woo! But that's pretty standard for me so it took me a while to realise my potions were gone. Man, totally killed my buzz! Still, shame to hear about your friends. I can text you the ingredients of Anti-Love to help you out, but if I do this then you've got to promise me something first, kid."

"Anything," Mabel agreed. "What is it?"

Love God cleared his throat and tried to make his voice as serious as he could, glad she couldn't see his unshaven chin and bleary eyes. "When you've finished with the potion you get rid of the formula. No copies or giving it to someone with a photographic memory or anything like that. That stuff is nasty in the wrong hands. And if you've got any left over, pour it all down the drain. No bottles in the freezer for later! You promise me that and I'll even take a look into getting rid of this lady's love formula. Think there's a god of thieves who owes me a favour. Or do I owe him a favour? Wait, have I even met him or did I just make him up that one time to impress that dude with the face?"

"Okay, destroy the potion and recipe," Mabel agreed before he rambled on for too long. "Got it. We'll use it on the Manotaurs and anyone else Jenna's got in her clutches and that's it."

"You've got to swear to do this, kid," Love God warned her. "You've deceived me before so this will have to be a proper, magical deal with a god kind of thing. The kind of deal that you don't want to break. Put your hand on the phone and promise me on something important, even more important than your life."

Love God put a hand to the receiver and waited.

"I swear," Mabel said, desperately. "I swear on Waddles and my Grunkles and even Dipper. Just...just help me save my family."

Love God nodded as his hand glowed gold. "Yep, golden god hands says you're being serious. Tells me you really do love your family. Okay, I'll do what I can."

"Thank you!" Mabel said anxiously. "But what about Dipper? Will Anti-Love free him too?"

"Doubt it, sweetheart," Love God sighed, Mabel's gut churning. "Doesn't sound like it's one of mine that's made him so sick."

"Oh," Mabel said, quietly. "Grunkle Ford suspected as much. Then can you at least tell me why the crush attack potion didn't work on Grenda or Soos? They never saw anybody in that mist and neither did Dipper when you used it last year. How can those three resist it?"

"Well, there's three possibilities," Love God said, looking through his cupboards for a snack. "First, they've got no romantic feelings, or never had any before, at least. Asexual, aromantic, or something close."

"Nope, definitely not that one for any of them."

"Another option is that they've found True Love. Capital letters at the front."

"Hmm," Mabel said, thoughtfully. "That makes sense for Grenda and Soos. But you used it on Dipper before he started to like Pacifica so that clashes with my ship. Give me a better reason."

Love God rolled his eyes. "Ugh, freaking shippers, man! Don't get me started! Okay, the other possibility is willpower. I don't know about those other two you mentioned but I can definitely confirm your brother's got that in the bag. Kid had an iron will, strongest I've ever felt in someone his age."

"And that's enough for him to resist a love potion? But what about what she's using on him now? How do we break him out of her control?"

"Can't help you there, sweetheart," he said, finishing the last of the coffee with a grimace before selecting a cereal and reaching for a bowl. "I can offer a few tips but there's no guarantee that they'll work. Best bet is to get a sample of her potion and then get another potion expert to give you the cure for it. Failing that, maybe a stomach pump or something to flush your brother's system."

"Ugh, had one of those and it's not as fun as it sounds," Mabel winced. "Hopefully Grunkle Ford or Gideon can make a cure. Either them or the Hand Witch. Any other ways?"

"Some potions can be washed off," he suggested. "Like a shower or bath."

"Nah, he showered this morning and she could still control him," Mabel grunted. "No other way?"

"Well, there is one," Love God said slowly, scratching his back. "But it's the trickiest. Strong emotions. I mean super strong, like love of your life saying they love you for the first time or sheer, bring me my brown pants, terror."

"Ew," Mabel said. "Uh, I don't think that will work on Dipper. I mean, Jenna threw me against a tree and he didn't even blink. If seeing me hurt can't get a reaction out of him then I doubt anything will. Might be useful on others if we run out of potion, though. Thanks, Love God. I really appreciate this. And I really liked your last Album! Are you coming back to the Falls this year?"

"Nope, nobody is," Love God grunted. "Woodstick's avoiding that place after the whole 'I Eat Kids' fiasco."

"Aw, that's a shame, I loved Woodstick! Even Dipper let his hair down for a bit!"

"Yeah well, near death experiences can ruin festivals for some people," Love God grunted as he poured the milk over what was probably his breakfast. "But I'll see what you I can do, talk to the others. Might take a few years before we return but that place definitely had a magic to it that you just don't find anymore."

"Thanks, Love God! This is super cool of you to do, especially since we didn't leave it on the best of terms."

"Yeah, well, you've got a big heart, kid. Can even sense it through the phone. Can sense it breaking too and there's almost nothing a god like me hates more than that."

"I...it's been a tough summer," she admitted. "Anyway, enough about that, can you send me the ingredients now?"

Wendy strode into the kitchen and took a seat at the table beside Soos, her boss holding his red fez in his hands and looking at it forlornly. "How'd it go?" Wendy asked as Mabel scrolled through a message on her phone.

"He texted me the recipe for an Anti-Love potion," Mabel said, holding her phone up to show her. "This should cancel her perfume and other love potions. But he doesn't think it would work on Dipper. Thinks that's something she designed herself."

"I don't get it," Soos said, finally looking up. "Why'd she give him a different potion when it's making him sick? Why not hit him with love stuff too?"

"Love God said he doesn't think that worked on Dipper," Mabel explained. "If you're really in love, like you, Robbie, Tambry, and Grenda are, or if you've got super will power, then you can fight it. And Love God said that Dipper has a will of iron."

"Titanium," Wendy said.

"What?"

"Titanium," Wendy repeated as they gave her puzzled looks. "It was something Robbie told me once when we talked about Weirdmageddon. Bill said it when they were all trapped in his chair. That, uh, your bubble thing was his greatest trap of all time and that we'd need a will of titanium to break free. Even Robbie sounded impressed when I told him Dipper was the one who got us out." She removed her hat and stared at the pine tree symbol on the front, her expression matching the one Soos had moments ago. "I always meant to tell him that. But I never did."

"Yeah," Mabel agreed, her eyes also her brother's old hat. "I mean, a trap that gave you anything you wanted. That's hard enough to resist at the best of times, let alone when the world's become a literal horror show outside."

"Yeah, but it just didn't work on Dipper," Soos said. "He wasn't tempted at all."

"Actually, he was," Mabel said, hesitating slightly. "It did show him something. He told me later that he felt bad because he almost fell for it. You know Dipper, more worried about almost failing than actually passing."

"Huh," Wendy said, frowning. "He never told me that. I didn't think he saw anything. What did he see?"

"He...doesn't like to talk about it," Mabel said, avoiding her eyes. "But I think he still thinks about it sometimes."

"I got to see my Dad," Soos said, quietly. "I mean, I knew he wasn't my real dad. But I didn't care. And it even made him way cooler than my real dad and made him love me to boot."

"At least you lasted longer than I did," Wendy muttered bitterly. "I was out of there in a second. Forgot all about Gravity Falls and even my family. Just so I could play pranks with my friends." She ran a hand through her hair aggressively. "God, I was weak! What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Bill's magic was making it hard for us to see the truth and was weakening all of our resolves," Mabel reminded her. "Trust me, nobody feels worse about that than I do but we've got to realise that Bill was messing with our brains the whole time. I know I can be selfish, but I was willing to let Dipper get thrown back into Weirdmageddon! That's not something I'd ever do in my right mind. Same goes with you guys."

Wendy gave a grunt, the words obviously giving her little comfort. "I still should have been stronger. Dipper relied on me and I failed him. I failed him before and now I've failed again."

Mabel hesitated, surprised by the guilt in the usually collect girl's voice. "We all failed him, Wendy," she said eventually, the thoughts of her family in danger rendering her unable to think of a positive reply. "Mabeland was just the worst of it."

There was a heavy silence as the three friends thought of the bubble, of their dreams made real and the way they had all succumbed to the temptations, all but one.

"I don't think we did fail him," Soos said after a while. "I just don't think we succeeded."

"No offense, Soos, but that's pretty much the definition of failure," Wendy sighed.

"But I don't think it should be," Soos said, the girls glancing up at his tone. "Just because we didn't have the willpower to fight Bill's trap doesn't make us weak. It just means that Dipper's got a skill that none of us have. I mean, think about it - Dipper's my Pterodactyl Bro but even I'll admit he rarely wins in the muscle department. But just because we're all stronger than him, that doesn't make him weak."

Soos nodded, his voice becoming more firm as he continued. "We've got our own strengths and weaknesses. I mean, Wendy, you can even take on Mister Pines, you're so good at fighting, even without your axe! And Mabel. Dipper might know more junk but you can still come up with amazing plans, some that have even been better than Dipper's! And me! I might not have as many awesome talents as you guys but I can still fix or break pretty much everything!"

"You are great at breaking things," Mabel agreed, Wendy also nodding in admiration at the former handyman's destructive capabilities.

"Exactly!" Soos said. "I'm the Handyman of the Apocalypse! I don't think anybody else could have done that as well as I did, not even Mister Pines! Just because none of us have Dipper's willpower doesn't mean we're failures. It just means he's better than us at something. Just like how Mabel's more artistic than the rest of us, Ford's smarter, Mister Pines is more awesome and Wendy's cooler! Who cares if Bill beat us then? He's even beaten Dipper and Ford in the past, two of the smartest guys ever! But we still beat him in the end! One defeat doesn't define us, if it did we'd all have given up years ago. So, yeah, maybe Dipper did something we couldn't. So what? We can all do things better than him, but that doesn't make us better than him. What matters is that when Bill had the rest of us beat, Dipper fought back and saved us all." Soos stood up, loosened his bow tie and pushed his red fez firmly down on his head. "And now that it's the other way round there's no way I'm gonna let the little dude down!"

"You're right, Soos," Wendy agreed, getting to her own feet and returning the pine tree hat to her head. "Who cares if we lost one round? We've been knocked down by way worse than her and that never stopped us before. I say we take the fight to Little Miss Stuck-up and teach her what happens when you mess with the Mystery Shack Crew!"

"Yeah!" Mabel cried, punching her open palm. "Nobody messes with my family except Grunkle Stan!" She flung open the door kitchen door and hollered to the other occupants of the Shack as she raced through the rooms searching for the ingredients. "Girls! Robbie and Gideon! We're gonna brew some Anti-Love potion and we're gonna kick Jenna's butt! Let's get started! Next time we're going to be ready for her!"

* * *

"Your family is proving to be very frustrating," Jenna sighed to the two old men her Manotaur had snatched, whispering a spell and rubbing her hand over the eye Mabel had hit with her grappling hook.

"Thanks! I've taught those kids plenty of bad habits," Stan boasted, his feet dangling as the Manotaurs held the brothers above the ground, their arms pinned to their sides by hands that could crush stone.

"However, I must admit that I'm also impressed by their tenacity," Jenna continued, removing her hand from her now healed eye as she paced back and forth in front of them, the woods near the motel hiding them from curious human eyes.

"It's a family trait, stubbornness," Ford said, trying to shrug but the Manotaur's steel grip rendering him unable to do so.

"Especially, this one's," Jenna said, pointing to Dipper. "Not many people can resist my perfume like he did. Hell, you two couldn't even do it as well!"

The brothers fell silent, watching their great-nephew as Dipper's head dropped against his chest before jerking up suddenly, just as he had been doing for several minutes.

Jenna had tried to sway the older men to her side with a puff of her perfume but both had resisted her. Not that she had really expected it to work, but it was worth a shot. Still, they had resisted her faster than expected. She had assumed that the six-fingered twin would offer the most resistance but it was actually the - she hesitated to use the term 'normal' - other twin who had fought it faster, almost as fast as the boy had. Very impressive.

"Now, I'm not an unreasonable woman," Jenna said, ignoring their sceptical scowls. "I meant what I said back in the woods. I just wanted to gather more ingredients and then I'd have sent the kid home, relatively safe and sound. Everybody wins!"

"Except the creatures you've been using for your experiments," Stan grunted, giving her a baleful eye. "I might not be the animal lover that Mabel is but even I don't like what you've been doing to them."

"Eh, the magic of the world's dying anyway," Jenna said, waving his complaints away. "Those animals have less than a thousand years to live, who cares if I speed it up a little? But you already know all about that, don't you?" She turned to Ford with a smug grin.

"So what if I do?" Ford growled. "I'm not going to tell you anything!"

"Oh, I'm sure you will," Jenna said, her grin broadening. "I have ways of making you talk."

"No you don't lady," Stan growled. "Me and Sixer have been smacked around by way worse than you and we're too stupid and stubborn to tell you anything. Besides, the kids took your bag of tricks, remember? We both heard you curse and complain about that even over the rushing wind. That means the only potion you've got is the one in your hand and the perfume. You've tried one and you ain't willing to use the other one or else you would have done it already so nyah!" He stuck his tongue at her, pleased to see her bristle.

It was true. Her only truth serum was in the bag and it would take too much hassle and time for her to make another. And she wasn't willing to use the other potion on them. She had no doubt that it would work but if it was having such an adverse effect on the kid then at their age it would probably kill them. Which seemed like less and less of a disbenefit with every moment in their company but she still wasn't ready to leave any dead bodies if she could help it. And she didn't doubt that both men had been tortured before, they seemed like the type who were just asking for a good thumb-screw every now and then. But they definitely had their weaknesses.

"Dipper," she said, calmly. "Come here."

Dipper stepped forward, his eyes barely open as Stan's tongue retreated and Ford struggled again. "Hey, leave him alone! He's got nothing to do with this!"

"You know, I've learned a lot about this kid and the limitations of my potion," Jenna said casually, reaching into her pocket and drawing a lighter. "Funny thing is that he seems to need an extra dose whenever someone else gets hurt, like what happened with the Manotaur. Sure, he beat up that hot guy for me, but I got the impression they weren't exactly friends. Lingering jealousy over that redhead he's so fond of, maybe? Anyway, I think I'm going to have to give him a spray every hour now that I've hurt his sister and have you two in my clutches. Probably more if you do anything that forces me to keep you obedient."

She flicked the lighter and held the flame up for the men to see. "Dipper, roll up your sleeve and hold out you arm," she commanded him, watching the older men as the boy did so. "Yep, he doesn't like it when I hurt other people," she continued as the brothers struggled. "But when it comes to his own safety…" She turned her back to the horrified men. "Dipper. Hold still," she commanded him as she ran the open flame against his bare forearm.

He stood perfectly still for a few seconds, the brothers hoping that somehow the potion was also numbing his senses to the fire. Then his mouth twitched and his tired eyes flew open as he screamed. It was the scream of a thirteen-year old boy in pain and not even the cries of Stanley and Stanford Pines together could drown it out.

"Stop! STOP!" Ford roared at the top of his lungs. "I'll do it! Please, just stop!"

Jenna put the lighter back in her pocket, spitting on her empty hands and whispered a spell under her breath as she rubbed her hands together vigorously. Then she ran her glowing palms over the wound, Dipper whimpering as the tears ran down his cheeks. Then the whimpering slowly died and when Jenna stepped back the brothers saw the skin, though hairless, had healed.

"I'm gonna get you," Stan promised her through gritted teeth. "Nobody messes with my family. I punched the last guy who did into oblivion and I'm gonna do worse to you."

"Shush now, the smart people are talking," Jenna told him before turning to his brother. "I want to know everything that you do," she said to Ford. "Everything. I'm not willing to kill a little boy but I don't need to. I can burn, break or squeeze all manner of things and then heal him just as easily, leaving my conscience clear. But you're not going to let it come to that."

Ford tore his eyes away from the again catatonic Dipper to glare at the sorceress. "How do you know I won't just write down false information?" he asked her suspiciously.

"You wouldn't dare," she answered simply. "From what the boy's told me you both love your family very much. So you're going to write down everything you know about the decline of magic because I'm going back to town to grab a few things and I'm taking the kid with me. If I even suspect that you've misled me or omitted anything then I'll hurt him. But if you're honest and write it all down then I'll leave just as soon as I've finished shipping my supplies and reacquired my bag. I'll give you the formula to cure the kid and head straight home while you go back to your family. Sound good?"

"It sounds as if I don't have a choice," Ford growled, watching Dipper anxiously.

Jenna grinned. "Nope! My favourite kind of deal! Stay here," she told Dipper and the Manotaurs. "I'll be right back."

The brothers watched her walk towards the motel, making sure she was well out of earshot before they turned to Dipper.

"Dipper! Come on, snap out of it!"

"Yeah, you can fight her, you're strong enough!"

"No I'm not," Dipper sighed, his eyes half-closing again as he stared straight ahead. "I tried already. I failed. What's the point?"

"What do you mean what's the point?" Stan hissed, exchanging an alarmed look with Ford. "The point is she's messing with your head and hurting your friends and family! She just burned your arm because she could! Don't you want to get her back or get away?"

"Why?" Dipper asked sadly. "She's smarter than me. Better to give her what she wants and just get it over with."

"Dipper, she threw Mabel against a tree! Are you just going to let her get away with that?"

Dipper shrugged. "Mabel just got hurt because I was captured. She should have just left me. The sooner she realises that I'm not worth it the better she'll be."

"Not worth it?" Stan repeated, dumbfounded. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm weak," Dipper sighed. "All that training and still no muscle. I told everyone that I could research Jenna on my own and I barely discovered a thing. She even used her magic on me and I was too weak to resist that too. Mabel got hurt and you two have been captured all because of me." He shook his head sadly as tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. "You're all better off without me," he said, a disturbing conviction in his voice.

"Kid, you're wrong!" Stan said desperately. His alarm only grew as Dipper continued to shake his head and mumbled self criticisms and faults under his breath, ignoring his family. "Ford, what's wrong with him?"

"It's the potion!" Ford said, trying to struggle again, glaring at the Manotaur that held him, a vacant, goofy smile plastered across the beast's face. "It's weakening his mind as well as his body. If we don't get that cure quick then - then I don't want to think about it," he finished, sagging in the monster's grasp.

"Are we all finished trying to talk him out of my spell?" Jenna asked brightly as she returned, carrying a notebook, pen and a small bag. The death glare she received from her men answered the question for her and she grinned. "Excellent! Thought a little alone time would remove any doubts about the strength of my potion. Dipper, be a dear and stop crying - it'll look weird if I head into town with a sobbing child. Good boy. Drop him," she added to the Manotaur holding Ford.

Ford landed with clenched fists as the teenage girl in front of him smiled and patted Dipper affectionately on the head. Part of him wanted to lunge at her but he didn't think he was faster than her magic or the Manotaur behind his back. Even if he were, he couldn't risk her hurting Stan or Dipper and just doing as she said was the fastest way he could think of getting Dipper back safely.

"Here, get writing," Jenna instructed, passing him the pen and paper before turning to the Manotaur who held Stanley. "If either of them try to get away or if they even talk to you or each other - squeeze. And don't stop until your hands meet." She saw the look that Ford gave her and shrugged. "Just in case," she explained. "I don't think you're stupid enough to risk escaping while I've got the kid but your family has already surprised me too many times already. Better safe than sorry."

With a final smile she jumped into the now hostage-free Manotaur's arms and ordered Dipper to join her. "Take us back to town," Jenna told the beast as Dipper sluggishly climbed in beside her. "I'm not going to let those brats catch me off-guard again."

* * *

Wendy flicked through a magazine as the other teenage girls brewed the potion in the largest pot the could find. "How's it going, girls?" she asked as she scanned the pages.

"Almost done," Candy said brightly as Mabel stirred the pot. "Just a few more ingredients and then we'll be done. But, uh, Mabel…" Candy's voice faltered as she read the last few items on the list Mabel had made from the Love God's text .

"What's wrong?" Pacifica asked, seeing the small teen blush.

"Well, the last two ingredients are a little...embarrassing," Candy said awkwardly. "The second-to-last ingredient requires the hair of a...a virgin."

Grenda gasped. "That's so scandalous! I love it!"

"Yoink!" Mabel said, plucking a hair from Pacifica and throwing it in the bubbling pot.

"Ow! Hey!" She turned to Mabel, her face red. "Why didn't you just use your own hair?" she demanded.

"Well you still haven't kissed a boy while I have, so that makes you even more virgin-y than me," Mabel reasoned as she returned to stirring.

"Shut up!" Pacifica hissed, blushing even more and glancing at the other two, Wendy unmoved by the confrontation while Candy sniggered. "What are you laughing at?" she snapped. "How many boys have you kissed?"

"In my dreams I have kissed many boys," Candy whispered, putting her hands to her blushing cheeks with a shy smile. "Sometimes several of them at once!"

"Were any of them Dipper?" Pacifica asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously as she remembered how she had seen Candy react to the pink apparition in the forest.

"Three of them were Dipper!" Candy boasted proudly.

"You go, girlfriend!" Grenda cried, raising a large hand that Mabel and Candy slapped at once.

"I'm not even going to ask what that means," Pacifica growled. She glanced at Wendy, remembering that Candy wasn't the only one who saw a pink Dipper in the forest, even if it wasn't technically their Dipper. She gritted her teeth when the redhead's response was to raise her magazine slightly to cover her expression.

"We're back!" Officer Mendez called out as she entered the Shack, Tambry and Robbie close behind her, all of them carrying plastic bags. "Got the best ones we could find," she said, drawing one of the super soakers from a bag and removing it from the packaging. "How's the potion coming?"

"Almost ready!" Grenda shouted from the kitchen.

"Great," said Melody, her and Abuelita coming down the stairs. She picked up one of the toy guns and checked it. "There should be enough to fill at least a water pistol, we don't exactly have a cauldron to make the stuff in. What took you guys so long, anyway?"

"Robbie wanted to go back to the park for his guitar and bike," Tambry explained.

"Hey, that guitar was expensive!" Robbie snapped defensively when Melody cocked an eyebrow at him. "And I almost lost my bike at that party last summer, no way was I going to lose it again. Stupid brats, running off like that," he muttered, rubbing his still sore nose painfully.

Listening from the kitchen, Wendy blinked as she suddenly recalled a conversation from the day the Stans returned to the Falls. "Hey, Robbie?" she called, leaning back on the chair so she could peer into the hallway. "Did you get a good look at who stole it?"

"Uh, not really," Robbie called back with a frown. "I mean, it was dark. But there were two of them and they were short but too big to be gnomes. Think they wore black or blue t-shirts and I'm positive they wore shorts. Why?"

"Just asking," Wendy said, putting her suspicions aside for the moment and returning to her previous position.

"Where's Soos and Gideon?" Tambry asked as she helped Mendez remove the toy guns from the packaging.

"In the lab, trying to make more tranquiliser rifles and knock-out drugs," Melody said. "Mabel's got an idea on how to handle the remaining Manotaurs but we need more of the stuff as a back-up."

"I'll go check on them," Mendez said, making her way towards the vending machine. "Going to the underground laboratory to see the little boy making tranquilizer darts," she muttered to herself as she stepped through the open doorway behind the vending machine. "One of these days I'm gonna wake up and find out I've been in a coma the whole time."

"Yeah, I'm still waiting," Melody said, following the officer to check on her fiancé, Abuelita making her way to the kitchen to take a seat and sip her tea while she made sure the girls were doing alright.

"Almost ready," Mabel declared as the old woman entered and the concoction in the pot bubbled and turned grey. She bit her lower lip nervously and exchanged an awkward look with Candy and Grenda.

"Great, let's see what the final ingredient is," Pacifica said, taking the list and reading it for herself. "A hair freshly-plucked from the head of a...oh." She looked up and met the other girls' eyes before they turned to face the oldest teen in the room, Abuelita perking up at the tension in the air and drawing her chair closer to make sure she didn't miss anything.

Wendy felt the stares through the magazine and slowly lowered it to see the expectant eyes on her. "What?" she demanded as the staring continued.

There was a brief whispered conversation before Pacifica, Candy and Grenda nudged Mabel forward, the brunette clearing her throat awkwardly. "Well, you see, Wendy, uh, the final ingredient is the hair of someone who's young and who's...been friendly with someone," Mabel explained lamely. "_Very _friendly, if you catch my drift?" She cleared her throat again as Wendy frowned. "And, well, it's just that it doesn't exactly state how young 'young' is and Love God's already blocked my number. I'm assuming Melody would still qualify but I'd rather not risk messing up the potion if she doesn't. I'm also a tad hesitant to ask her something like that when it's so close to her wedding, you know?" Mabel coughed as Wendy's frown deepened. "Uh, hoo boy, I guess what I'm trying to say is...well, you've had a lot of boyfriends, and we were just wondering if you'd ever-"

"Yo, Tambry!" Wendy yelled, leaning back in her chair again. "Get in here!"

"What?" Tambry asked as she and Robbie entered the kitchen. "Ow!"

"Sorry, girls need the hair of somebody who's done the nasty," Wendy explained, throwing the hair into the pot.

"Wait, what?"

"You idiots!" Robbie yelled at Wendy and the obviously embarrassed girls as his girlfriend blushed. "You've probably just ruined the potion! We haven't done it yet!"

"It worked!" Grenda cried as the potion turned black.

"WHAT?" Robbie cried, turning to his mortified girlfriend in despair. "Tambry! How could you?"

"It was one time before we were dating!" she snapped back. "What, like you and Wendy never did anything?"

"Hey, leave me out of this!" Wendy said, raising her hands.

"Shut up, you're the one responsible for this!" Tambry hissed at her, the venom in her eyes making even Wendy Corduroy quail.

"We didn't do anything!" Robbie yelled in anguish. "We were only together for a couple of weeks!"

"Wait, seriously?"

"This conversation is becoming very adult and personal for our young and innocent ears," Candy noted as Mabel nodded.

"Si, you are too young for this," Abuelita agreed, motioning for the other girls to leave the room, Wendy grabbing some oven mitts to lift the pot safely. "You girls go away now," she urged, closing the door behind them. "I sit and watch."

"Aw, I wanted to pick up stuff," Mabel muttered.

"Marius and I don't care about our past relationships, only the one we have now," Grenda boasted.

"I notice that you technically didn't answer Mabel's question," Pacifica said to Wendy as they searched for another room.

"None of your business, Northwest," Wendy grunted as she carried the potion. "Nobody's business but mine."

"Isn't that hypocritical of you considering you just outed Tambry like that?"

"Hey, they've been dating for a year and Tambry only told me a little while ago how far she'd went! How was I supposed to know it wasn't with Robbie?" Wendy glared at the blonde before she relented, reflecting on her actions. "But you do have a point. I wasn't thinking clearly. I am seriously going to have to make it up to them both for that."

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Mabel asked worriedly.

"Yeah, they should be fine," Wendy said. "I mean, it's not like she cheated on him, he's just letting his insecurities get the better of him. Better just let them sort it out themselves. He shouldn't care about her past relationships and if she lied to him about how far she's gone then she should give him a good, honest reason for it. But I think once they calm down, they'll realise that what matters is how much they love each other now."

"Awww!" Mabel cooed, Candy and Grenda joining in. "Wendy, you're a romantic!"

"No, I just wouldn't mind being in a relationship as good as theirs," Wendy countered, placing the pot on a table as the phone rang.

"I'll get it!" Mabel said, running to the shop. "Hi, you've reached the Mystery Shack! Unfortunately, we're closed today so-"

"Mabel?"

Mabel froze, the exhausted and pained voice on the other end making her heart pound. "Dipper?"

"Jenna wants to talk to you."

"No, wait, Dipper! Don't-"

"Hello, Mabel. Dipper's told me a lot about you."

Mabel growled. "Listen, lady, if you've hurt him or my Grunkles, I swear I'm going to-"

The laughter on the other end drowned out her threats. "Oh please!" Jenna said mockingly. "What can you do? I have your great-uncles now and even when you had the drop on me, I still won!"

"Didn't seem like you won," Mabel replied. "I mean, we didn't win either but you're still the one who retreated. Seems like more of a mutual defeat to me."

She heard a growl on the other end. "Let's agree to disagree."

"I don't agree to that!"

"What?"

"I said that I don't agree to your agreeable statement. Look, if you're trying to do a threatening villain thing then you're not doing it very well. I mean, getting Dipper to call me was a smart opening because it made me worried but then you took over and it's now just gotten disappointing. Oh! Want me to ask Gideon to give you some pointers on making threats? You might like him; he's also threatened my family and even tried to force me to marry him several times. We're friends now."

There was a pause. "You are a very strange little girl."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Mabel laughed. "I take it as a compliment. Not always meant that way but I like to look on the bright side."

"Dipper said you were a little freak of nature," Jenna muttered.

"No, he didn't," Mabel casually replied. "Dipper wouldn't say that about me behind my back. He probably called me unique or weird or something like that, but you've twisted his words to try and cause me emotional distress because you think that will make me fragile and give you a position of power over me, psychologically speaking. Well it ain't gonna work! My mind's too cuckoo to fall for those kinds of tricks! Also, I hate you and you smell like poop."

She heard some frustrated curses from the other end of the phone. "Look, I called because you have something of mine and I have something of yours," Jenna said irritably.

"No, you don't," Mabel said with a frown. "You have someone, not something. I could put that down to improper word use, but I suspect that you honestly do see everyone else as little more than tools to be used to your benefit. This leads me to believe your superiority complex is so severe that you really do consider other people's lives to be-"

"Shut up! What are you, a shrink or something?"

"No, that would be silly! How could a thirteen-year old be a shrink? I mean, sure, I'm almost fourteen and I do admit, I've learned a huge amount from my therapist but why bring up my future occupation while we're discussing a ransom? You're a strange kidnapper. But, while we're on the subject, my therapist once said that I have a fascinating brain and she would love to crack it open sometimes. Which, sure, sounds sinister, but I'm seventy percent certain (I think, I'm really bad at maths) that what she really meant was -"

"Meet me at the motel!" Jenna screamed, so loud Mabel had to pull the phone away from ear. "The one outside town! Half an hour! Bring my bag! No tricks! Understand?"

Mabel stuck a finger in her ear and gave it a wiggle before returning the phone to it. "I know you're an evil, brother-kidnapping, thieving, poisoning, witch-lady, but you don't need to be _ rude_."

Jenna let out a scream of rage and a torrent of swears before she ended the call.

"I love annoying bad guys," Mabel sighed to Waddles as she went to gather the others and make a plan. "They make it so easy."


	6. Chapter 6

"How's it coming?" Jenna asked Ford as she lay on the bed and flicked through the channels, seeking to distract herself until it was time for the trade.

"A few more minutes," Ford grunted as he hurriedly scribbled as much information he could think of about the decline of magic. It was something he had suspected for years but only confirmed during his travels across the world with Stanley.

Even for a seasoned adventurer like Ford, it had been a busy and productive year. And, thanks to Stanley, it had also been one of the most entertaining; no more long, lonely nights of silent reflection and regrets about what could have been. But the journey wasn't just about re-forging that brotherly bond, it was also about discovery. They had been all over the world; Antarctica, the Americas, Europe, Africa , Asia and Australia, and had encountered shrines, mystical places, forgotten tribes, hidden valleys, monsters, gods and more. But Ford, ever the researcher, had made enquiries and detailed notes about everything he had seen or heard. And what he suspected was troubling.

Magic, by its definition, was nothing that science could ever truly define. It could create and destroy equally, strengthen or weaken or both at once, appear or vanish just as suddenly. It was like a force of nature, a living creature and a natural resource all at once. For every magical phenomenon that led someone to believe one thing about magic and how it worked, there was another that would completely disproved this theory. There were certain rules to magic but none were completely set in stone. One of these rules was that magic usually came at a cost. This cost could be ingredients, life force or, for some races and a tiny number of humans, the natural amount of magical energy they carried; their mana. But despite the prevalence of this rule there were still people who could use magic freely without it appearing to require any of these.

At first it was a struggle for Ford to come to terms with the fact that there was something out there that could never be defined by the science he loved so much, even if it did fascinate him. But after encountering universes with only two dimensions, a world made up solely of babies and the never-ending frustration of the M Dimension, he had just learned that some things were beyond even his level of comprehension. That even the most detailed studies on magic would have to mention in the conclusion that everything listed would only be ninety percent accurate. If that. But a year of travelling with his brother had taught him one thing that seemed to be certain about the magic on Earth: it was fading.

The magical creatures and gods were disappearing rapidly across the globe. Most were extinct or had hardly any power left. Ancient places of magical energy barely registered on his scans when he had travelled there and the few civilisations left that could harness it barely remembered how. Even those that did admitted that they were not as powerful as they had once been. There were still places where the magic still flourished. Most locations were in Europe or at the bottom of the ocean but some of the remaining few even rivalled Gravity Falls. Germany's Black Forest, the Scottish Highlands, the Australian Outback, a mountain range in China, those were just a few of the places he had visited where magic seemed to be as strong as it ever was.

But for the rest of the world it was a forgotten thing, like a dream or a youthful fantasy that became harder to recall with every passing day. Maybe those places would remain magical forever but a large part of him doubted it. He had long known that magic seemed to retreat from places where technology prospered. Even in his travels across other universes, a recurring theme seemed to be that the more technologically advanced a place or species was, the less likely there was to be magic. And every day the human race was developing more and more technology and spreading across the world as it did so.

He had written as much as he could about all of this for Dipper's sake but the one thing he didn't mention directly was his travels through the dimensions. The sorceress seemed to be resolutely focussed on magic but he was sure that if she knew about other realities then she would have mentioned it, no doubt hoping to exploit them too. So he made sure that when he gave her all the information he had on magic, it never specified that some of it had been discovered in alternate universes, hoping she would just assume it was due to the natural weirdness of Gravity Falls or the magically strong places he mentioned in his report. He glanced up from his notes just long enough to glower at her and was positive that she didn't really care about the finer details. She seemed far too impatient for that.

"Here," he said, thrusting the wad of paper at her when he finished.

"Dipper - check it," Jenna grunted. "Anything missing let me know."

Dipper jerked awake from the foot of her bed, Ford relieved to see that he had finally managed to get some sleep. He still looked terrible; pale with laboured breathing and a cold sweat. But it was better than nothing. The teenager struggled to his feet and took the notes, his bloodshot eyes squinting at the words in a way that made Ford's gut knot from worry.

"No lies," Dipper said when he had scanned all the pages, passing it to Jenna and rubbing his still tired eyes. "Nothing big missing. Nothing I can see. 'S fine."

"Excellent," Jenna said, frowning thoughtfully as she read it herself. "Huh. The Black Forest. I always suspected there was still magic there. Seems dangerous, though. And some of these I've never heard of. Well done."

"Now will you let us go?" Ford demanded. "You've packed everything you gathered. Aren't you satisfied yet?"

"No," Jenna told him, not bothering to look up. "Your family's taken what's mine. I'm not leaving until I get my bag back."

Ford opened his mouth to argue, to point out that she had no right to criticize anyone for taking her potions after the harm she caused with them. But he closed it almost immediately. People like her didn't care about the hypocrisy of their actions. They believed they were entitled to treat others however they wished and all the evidence in the world couldn't convince them otherwise.

There was a knock at the door. "They're here," a deep voice said.

"Excellent," Jenna said, jumping off her bed. "After you," she said, giving Ford a mocking bow as she motioned to the door. Ford glared at her but got up and walked out of the room, Dipper close behind him until Jenna pulled him back. "Here," she said, putting something in his hand. "Put this in your pocket. Don't let anyone see it and only use it if I tell you to, understand?"

Dipper stared at the object for a moment, showing no emotion as his potion-addled brain struggled just to keep him upright. "Okay," he said, nodding as he did what she instructed because Jenna had given him an order and there was no point in resisting anymore.

Jenna nodded and pushed the boy ahead of her just in case. But there was nothing to fear, the last member of the Pines family and her allies were still a distance away and approaching on foot.

She turned to the man who had knocked on her door. When she had asked Dipper about where to find more muscle he had suggested a local biker bar and he was the first specimen she had seen, leaning against the wall outside with a steely gaze. He was large with nose piercings and practically all of his muscle-bound body covered in tattoos, most of which just described the body part they were on. She had called him Chin at first because that was the first tattoo she saw and if someone was dumb enough to get a tattoo like that then they deserved a stupid name to go with it. This continued until Dipper commented that choosing Spoon as her false name and then selecting such an obvious nickname for her lackey suggested she didn't have much of an imagination.

He got another spray to the eyes for that remark.

"Get the others," she ordered bouncer. "Remember what I told you to do."

Tats nodded and went to the other rooms of the motel, knocking on every door. They opened and several more muscular men stepped out of every room. The biker bar was full of weak-minded men with plenty of muscle. But Jenna wasn't willing to take any chances this time round and the rest she found at the pool, the gym and even more muscular students of Gravity Falls High gathered, giving her an army of men at her disposal.

Jenna smirked as she surveyed her horde of beefy men and boys. She turned to her Manotaurs and her smile broadened. Of the five Manotaurs she had swayed with her perfume, she now only had three. One had been knocked out during the first battle in the woods and another never returned. She had tried to summon him and hopefully some others with jerky but to no avail, leading her to suspect that he must have been captured by the group. Either that or the other Manotaurs had captured him after the rest of his kind had been warned to avoid her. Still, it had taken four of their rifles to take down one of the beasts and this time she had a horde of little surprises at her disposal.

She commanded one of the Manotaurs to grab Ford and hold him in front of him as a shield, just like his brother was holding Stan. Then she gagged both men because, honestly, she was just sick and tired of the Pines family getting on her nerves. And so, confident in her superior numbers, powers and intellect, she climbed into the arms of the middle Manotaur, taking Dipper with her as her own shield, small and thin though it was.

"That is way more than I was expecting," Candy said nervously as the group of teenage girls marched to the motel.

"I think she has the entire high school football, wrestling and swim team there," Wendy said, seeing several familiar faces in the crowd. "Plus some of the guys from the Skull Fracture. Scratch that, all of the guys from the Skull Fracture."

"This might be trickier than we thought," Pacifica admitted as the opposing force finally finished assembling from the motel rooms.

"We can take them," Grenda said, punching her palm repeatedly in a threatening manner.

"Remember, Dipper and the Stans take priority," Mabel reminded them, holding the doctor's bag in both arms. "No fighting if we can help it. She's the real bad guy, the boys are just under her control because boys are dumb and easily swayed by their emotions and junk, unlike us girls. Am I right, ladies? Ladies? Not hearing a 'heck yeah!' back there."

Candy, Wendy, and Pacifica shared sceptical looks and said nothing.

"Marius doesn't care if I get emotional," Grenda boasted. "He says that it just shows how expressive I am! Also, I think he sorta likes it when I yell at him, but I don't think he wants other people to know that about him."

"Eh, whatever floats his boat," Mabel said with a shrug. "Anyway, look alive because now it's time for the big showdown." She cleared her throat as they stopped a short distance away from the wall of enslaved men that stood between them and their foe. "Release my brother and Grunkles, you evil lady person, you!" Mabel yelled at Jenna. Then she looked at her family. "Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford! Are you okay? Dipper, we're going to get you out of this!"

Her great-uncles squirmed in the Manotaurs grasps but their muffled cries could barely be heard through their gags. Dipper glanced at his sister and friends but immediately returned to his thousand yard stare, Mabel taking a sharp intake of breath as he did so.

"They'll be fine once you get them back!" Jenna yelled out. "But that depends on whether you've been a nice little girl and returned what you stole!"

"Hey, don't try and play the victim here!" Wendy snapped. "You're the psycho who enslaved half the guys in town! We actually brought your stupid bag and even came unarmed!"

"The hell you did!" Jenna snapped. "You've got an axe!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," Mabel said, glancing at the weapon at Wendy's waist. "Okay, but to be fair, Wendy takes that everywhere so we just don't notice it anymore. So apart from Wendy's axe, we are unarmed! Except for my grappling hook. And Pacifica's taser. And Grenda. We are mostly unarmed!"

"Well, I guess I doesn't matter," Jenna conceded with a dismissive wave. "What can a bunch of little girls do against all these burly men? And speaking of men under my control, how are those friends of yours doing?" she asked, checking her fingernails for dramatic effect, the streetlamp and motel lights not bright enough to really see their condition.

When the group returned to the Mystery Shack after the first battle with Jenna, they had dragged the three boys upstairs where Melody and Abuelita had occasionally checked in to make sure they were still bound by the cable of Mabel's grappling hook. Once Anti-Love had been created they had quickly tested it on them and were glad to see it immediately cured their Jenna obsession, even if they did become more morose than usual. None more so than Nate, since he had been beaten up by a fourteen-year old girl in a particularly embarrassing way. The teenage boys and Gideon were now all on their way home since Mabel had happily told them she doubted any of them would be of any use in their plan, making them feel even worse after a bad day.

Gideon had protested at first, reminding them of his assistance in creating more tranquiliser darts. But a sincere thanks and quick hug from Mabel (completely platonic to her, less so for him) had ceased his complaints and he even left the Shack with a complacent smile on his round face.

But they didn't want Jenna to know any of that, so Wendy simply yelled at her instead. "None of your business, you tyrannical freak! What the hell do you care, anyway?"

Jenna shrugged. "I like to know how long the perfume lasts. Was curious if it had faded yet. Don't really give a damn about them, just like how I don't give a damn about the rest of your little losers club."

"Actually, we're the Mystery Shack Crew," Mabel corrected her. "Dipper said Losers Club was already taken by some other kids in a book he was reading. Then Mom snatched it off him, saying he was too young for one of the scenes."

"Yeah, she made the right call," Pacifica said, nodding gravely. "Freaked me way out when I realised what they were doing in those tunnels."

"You've piqued my curiosity," Candy said. "Do tell."

"Uh, hello?" Jenna said, waving at her army in annoyance as the younger girls all turned to a suddenly embarrassed Pacifica. "Hostage situation! Remember?"

"Oh, sorry, you're just not that interesting compared to most of our villains so it's hard to concentrate on you," Mabel said, returning her attention to a bristling Jenna. "Let's try this again. Release my brother and Grunkles, you evil lady person, you!" Mabel yelled, moving the bag to one arm to point a finger at the sorceress.

"Not until I get my stuff," Jenna growled back. "I'll send over one of my men to take it."

"Okay, you send over Dipper and my Grunkles at the same time," Mabel agreed with a nod.

"Uh, no," said Jenna. "I'll check the bag first, make sure you haven't tampered with it."

"Hey, that's unfair!" Pacifica cried. "At least send Dipper over!"

"Boohoo, life's not fair," Jenna sneered. "Thought a Northwest would know all about bad deals. Anyway, you don't really have a choice in this. I can always make more potions, you can't replace your family. Oh, and speaking of family…"

Jenna clapped her hands and the men to her side parted, revealing three muscular redheaded boys, Wendy's jaw dropping when she saw them. "Marcus! Kevin! Gus!" Wendy stared in horror at her brothers before she turned to Jenna. "You already earned yourself one axe strike for Dipper but now you've just added three more!"

"Promises, promises," Jenna sang as the Corduroy brothers moved closer to the sorceress. "Marcus, be a dear and snatch my bag for me, would you?"

The oldest of Wendy's brothers nodded and walked towards the girls.

"Come on, Marcus, fight it!" Wendy urged him as he got closer. "Dipper could resist, are you really going to let Dipper beat you at something?"

"Dipper just doesn't know when to give up," Marcus grunted as he took the bag from Mabel.

"Yeah," Wendy agreed quietly as she watched him go, Mabel staring miserably at her empty hands as Candy and Grenda moved to comfort their friend. "You're right about that."

Jenna grinned as Marcus handed her beloved bag back to her. It faded when she saw the iron padlocks holding the handles together and stopping her from opening it fully. "What the hell is this?" she demanded, only managing to pull it open a finger-width, no matter how hard she tried.

"My idea," Pacifica said with no small amount of pride. "We didn't want you just reaching in and throwing more potions at us. And Dipper once told me iron was resistant to magic so this way you can't just use a spell to unlock it."

Jenna ceased her struggles to glare at the girls. "You are a bunch of idiots," she stated. "I've got Manotaurs, remember! They can just snap these things right off!"

"Would you really be willing to risk your bag of potions in their ruff hands?" Candy asked innocently. "It would be a strange decision to let a Manotaur break them after all the trouble you went through to get them back."

Jenna cursed under her breath but kept hold of her bag. "Okay, that was clever of you," she admitted grudgingly, stuffing the notes that Ford had made into the gap of the bag for safe keeping. "But I still have the upperhand! I've got an army, six hostages, and three Manotaurs at my side. What have you got? Nothing!"

"So let's try and even the odds," Mabel said under her breath, walking forward until there was only a few steps between her and the opposing force. She looked up at Jenna and her family in the hands of the Manotaurs, taking a steadying breath when she saw the terrible condition of her brother, but relieved that her great-uncles seemed to be no worse for ware, if obviously upset. "You three!" Mabel snapped at the Manotaurs. "Go home or else!"

"We cannot do that, Leader Mabel," Testosteraur stated, puffing his chest out proudly. "We have been told to protect and obey Beautiful Jenna and there is no force in the universe that can stop us! We love her!"

"Go home or I'll tell your Mom you've been naughty," Mabel threatened.

Jenna landed with a painful grunt as sheer terror overpowered her enchanted perfume, Testosteraur and his brothers dropping the humans and raising their now empty hands as they slowly backed away from the small girl, their eyes wide with panic.

"What the hell just happened?" Jenna asked incredulously from the ground as she stared at the great beasts, who turned and fled like deer before leaping into the sky and away from her. Then she realised the Stans were getting to their feet. "Hold them down!" she instructed her minions, who loyally dog-piled the two old men, their gags limiting their grunts of pain.

"They have mother issues," Dipper explained with a shrug, the small teen the only one to land on his feet.

A few men helped Jenna to her feet and she was still trying to make sense of the last few seconds when she heard the screech of tyres. Now that there were no more Manotaurs to stand on, she had to peer through the arms of her human shield wall to see what was going on.

A patrol car and a rusted and dirty RV had come seemingly out of nowhere to skid to a halt behind the girls. Out of the patrol car stepped the female deputy she saw in the woods and the teenage couple she met in the park, the deputy and boy holding tranquiliser guns while his girlfriend held a bizarre rifle in her hands.

Out of the RV came the large man with the suit and fez, carrying some more tranquiliser rifles and the strange, otherworldly weapons in his arms, which he quickly passed to the teenage girls. Jenna squinted through the gaps, trying to make out what they were. "Are those...water pistols?"

"Dang right, they are!" Mabel cried proudly. "Filled with Anti-Love potion! We've also got plenty of darts for everybody so let my family go!"

"There's no way out of this!" Mendez added, raising her rifle to her shoulder, Wendy, Robbie and Pacifica doing the same since they were the only ones who knew how to handle a proper firearm, Soos and the other girls raising their super soakers instead. "Surrender now before you find yourself surrounded by a bunch of angry bikers! What do you think they'll do once they realise you've been messing with their heads?"

"You three hear that?" Wendy yelled to her brothers. "Either you're going to get hit by magic potion or a tranquiliser dart so you should just go home! Or else I'll tell Dad you've been misbehaving!" she added, hoping to sway them in the same way Mabel had turned the Manotaurs.

"Shut up, Wendy!"

"Stop telling us what to do!"

"Yeah, always bossing us around just 'cause you're the oldest!"

"Eh, worth a shot," Wendy sighed. "I've seriously got to ask Mamma Manotaur how she keeps her boys in line."

"I wouldn't risk hitting Dipper with one of those darts if I were you," Jenna said as she pushed her way closer to the front until there was only one row of men between them and her, bending low and making sure Dipper was ahead of her the whole time. "A tranq that can knock out a grown man might be dangerous to a little kid. Especially when he's already having an adverse reaction to my spray."

"I say we attack now," Pacifica hissed, trying to get a clear shot through Dipper and the men. "If we can take out enough of them then we can surround her! She can't use Dipper as a shield then. Besides, every second we waste gives her the chance to throw up more magic."

"I agree with Pacifica," Wendy said, trying to decide which target to hit first. "Dipper's already in a bad way, we can't afford to wait this out."

"Dipper tells me that most of you like video games," Jenna said suddenly, interrupting their whispered strategy plan.

"That is a very odd question considering the circumstances," said Candy, the others also giving the sorceress curious looks.

"Well I like them too," Jenna said with a worryingly confident tone. "Not the fighting, racing or shooting crap that Dipper said the rest of you like. Real games, strategy or management games, where you have to be quick on your toes and use your wits. And when it comes to strategy games I think that too many people go for the big, tough units. Personally, I think they tend to overlook the important thing. It doesn't matter how many units you gain or lose, big or small, just so long as you win. And a legion of weaker units can get the job done just as well." She paused just long enough to smirk before putting her fingers in her mouth to whistle.

There was a flurry of movement around the motel and the Mystery Shack Crew and their allies suddenly saw hundreds of tiny men appear on the roof, in the bushes and trees, from practically every shadow that they could see.

Soos groaned. "Aw man, I hate it when the other guys does a zerg rush!".

The gnomes launched themselves at the group in a storm of high-pitched voices, pointy hats and beards, the rifles and super soakers firing as quickly as they could pull the trigger. The one good thing about the massive swarm was that they didn't even need to aim, wherever they pointed they hit at something, usually a gnome but the occasional dart would fly threw the tiny horde to hit one of the men or teenagers under Jenna's control, even if another did immediately step up and take his place.

Wendy, Pacifica and Mendez dropped their tranquilisers when the gnomes got too close, drawing their axe, taser and pepper-spray respectively to fight better at close range while Robbie still fired his, eventually trying to smack them away with the butt of the weapon when he realised he had ran out of darts. The water pistols and super soakers were soon spent and the others had to rely on their fists until the ever-prepared Soos ran back into the RV and came out with shovels, a baseball bat and some golf clubs, handing them to the others.

Robbie and Tambry stood back to back and struck everything they could see with their shovels. Mabel took a golf club and sent gnome after gnome soaring into each other or through the air, some of her shots sending them over the treeline while Soos sent even more flying with his baseball bat, offering a quick "Sorry, dudes!" with every swing. Mendez left dozens on the ground gagging and clutching their eyes and Pacifica used her taser and years of the best self-defence lessons money could buy to fight the little men. Wendy was a screaming whirlwind of fury with her axe, the flat of her blade knocking several out.

Candy hopped on Grenda's shoulders and in unison both girls yelled, "Combined we become Grendy: Supreme Ruler of Earth! Marvel at our beauty but fear our wrath!" Even the gnomes near them paused and looked on in confusion before Grendy sent blow after boulder-breaking blow into them, Grenda's powerful strikes now becoming more precise as Candy directed her friend.

Some gnomes were even retreating, the fear of facing the ferocious humans overpowering Jenna's perfume.

"I think we've almost got them!" Mabel panted triumphantly as, against all the odds, despite being outnumbered a literal hundred to one, they were prevailing, the few remaining gnomes either scurrying away or falling with ease now that they didn't have overwhelming numbers. Then she was lifted from the ground by Marcus Corduroy, his other hand easily pulling the golf club out of even Mabel's strong grip. "Aw poop," she said, surveying the scene and seeing that her friends were also being overwhelmed by the human men, the effort of fighting the gnomes draining some so much that even Grenda and Soos only needed five men each to hold them down.

"I am so glad I remembered to search the trees," Jenna sighed, nudging an unconscious gnome with her foot. "Canon fodder is such an asset." She walked through the battlefield to check the damage and noticed that there were barely any gnomes left standing and the few who could struggled to do even that. When she reached the bested team she took a deep, mocking bow. "Such worthy foes!" she sneered, laughing loudly. She stopped when she noticed she was the only one doing so. "Laugh when I laugh," she commanded and then laughed again, this time the men joining in.

"Let go of my brother!" Mabel yelled, trying to break free of Marcus' grasp and reaching for her grappling hook. But the oldest Corduroy brother simply took that away from her too and lifted her higher.

Jenna smirked and then clapped her hands. "Bring the three I mentioned," she instructed.

Mabel tried to struggle as Marcus carried her, but she was no match for the much bigger and stronger boy, especially not when he had grown up wrestling two brothers and Wendy. Pacifica was being escorted by Wendy's other brothers, holding her by the arms and lifting when she tried to kick at them while Wendy requiring two burly bikers to hold her down. Each girl struggled as hard as she could but the exertion of fighting the gnomes had taken its toll on even them.

"Well, well. If it isn't the three ladies my clients admired so much," Jenna said with a smirk as they were brought before her and forced to their knees. "Dipper's told me so much about you. I can see why you would appeal to my clients. But I'm glad that didn't work out. Honestly, I hated those three and I'm actually happy you got your bodies back! I mean, if they hadn't complained about it to me then I would never have found Dipper and who knows how long it would have taken me to find out everything that he's told me?" she asked, ruffling the boy's hair playfully.

"Don't touch him!" Pacifica hissed as Dipper's droopy eyes glanced at the girls in front of him but showed no other reaction.

"Ah, Pacifica Northwest!" Jenna cried, giving her another mocking bow. "The blue blood who works as a waitress! You know, of all my targets I actually liked you. Sarcastic and a hard worker who wanted to make their own way in the world. Reminds me a little of me. Not as clever or dedicated, obviously, but there's some potential there. I'm sure there's still some of your daddy's ambition in you somewhere."

"Bite me!"

"Keep that attitude, kid, it'll take you far," Jenna said with a wink. "If you submit to other people then they'll just walk over you. It's why I'm so far ahead of everyone else." Her smile turned into a smirk. "Hey, level with me here. Dipper said he thinks you have feelings for him. Is that true? Oh my God, it is!" Jenna laughed when she saw blonde's burning cheeks, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Seriously? Wow, your standards really have dropped!"

"Hey, you don't get to talk about him like that!" snarled Mabel, fighting to get to her feet until Marcus pushed her down again with ease. "You're just bitter because he beat your stupid seduction spell! That makes him better than all of these guys! Uh, no offense, Wendy or Wendy's brothers," she added, eyeing the Corduroy boys.

"No, I agree with you there," Wendy sighed miserably.

"Ah, Mabel," Jenna said, turning to face the brunette. "The annoying one who likes to mess with people on the phone. Mabel the Mouth. Not so funny now that you've been bested, huh? Dipper talks about you the most. How brave you are, how kind. All that brotherly love crap. Personally, you sound like a spoiled little brat to me and even I think Dipper can do better."

"Yes he can!" Mabel said, her eyes flashing. "But I'm all he's got so I'm going to have to just work extra hard at kicking your butt for messing with my family!"

"You tell her, Mabel!" Wendy yelled, the two men at her side struggling to keep her down.

"And last and least, we have Wendy Corduroy," Jenna said, turning to the redhead with a scowl. "The prettiest girl in town, according to Dipper.

"In the world," Dipper corrected her absently.

"Shut up!" Jenna hissed at him before returning her glare to Wendy. "Town slut's more like it!" she snapped. "Don't know what he sees in you to be honest. I thought he was clever enough to have better taste. Boys will be boys, I guess. But there is one thing about you that made me curious," Jenna admitted. "I checked your school records. You don't seem as dumb as you look. I mean, some of your pranks have been a bit imaginative and I think you're at least smart enough to get away with your crimes if you put a little more thought into them. But you don't. Which leads me to believe that what you really want is the attention. What's the matter? Being the only girl in a family of boys not enough for you?" Jenna smirked. "Daddy doesn't pay enough attention unless you're causing trouble? Or is it more of a mommy issue?"

"Don't talk about my mother!" Wendy growled, her fists clenching and the men grunting with the effort of keeping her down until Jenna raised a hand and Wendy suddenly felt as if tight cords were wrapped around her arms, legs and head, stopping her from moving them at all or even opening her mouth.

"Aw, I touched a nerve," Jenna crooned over the redhead's muffled curses. "Well that answers that. Still, I've won, you've lost. That's it. But do you know why I've won?" she asked, offering the question to the rest of the party, not just the three directly in front of her.

"Because you cheated and made others fight for you!" Grenda barked.

"You are a coward!" Candy snapped.

"Yeah, that's totally not cool," Soos agreed.

"All you did was force innocent people do your dirty work!" Mendez said, spitting the hair out of her mouth as she tried to turn her head to glare at the sorceress.

"Exactly!" Jenna cried triumphantly. "I got others to do it for me! I used my brain!" She tapped her temple confidently. "Let's face it, I barely held my own against the little boy when he was resisting me, there's no way I could take on the rest of you. So I outsmarted you! See?"

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're going to give a villain speech?" Pacifica groaned. "I hate it when they do that!"

"Wasn't it a villain speech when she was talking to the three of us?" Mabel asked her curiously.

"Nah, that was more showboating and mockery," Pacifica said. "A villain speech is a monologue about them. That was just her way of criticizing us."

"Ah, yeah, I can see the difference now," Mabel said, nodding her head in agreement.

"Shut up!" Jenna barked. "I've got you all captured and you're still talking to each other so casually! What is wrong with you people?"

"We're kinda used to extreme situations by now," Soos said, Candy and Grenda murmuring their agreement. "This is like a weekly thing for us by this point."

"Oh, for God's sake," Jenna sighed, rubbing her eyes. "That does it, I'm done with this town. The people are even weirder than the bloody goblins and minotaurs!"

"I actually agree with that part," Mendez sighed.

"And it's pronounced Man-otaur, not min-otaur," Robbie corrected her. "Not so smart now, huh?"

"So sad she doesn't know that," Tambry said, shaking her head in disappointment. "Pathetic, really."

"SHUT UP!" Jenna roared. "Look, I won, you lost, okay? Things got out of hand with your brother and great-uncles but if you'd just let me go about my business then none of this would have happened. Hopefully that'll teach you to mess with someone smarter than you," she growled, checking her phone.

"Is she seriously trying to victim blame us again?" Pacifica demanded.

Jenna ignored her, instead clapping her hands so that Ford and Stan were also dragged forward, their gags still stopping them from speaking. "Here," she said, placing a scrap of paper in Ford's pocket, as both men gave her a baleful gaze. "The recipe to fix the brat. Despite what you may think of me, I don't need a dead body on my hands, especially not a little boy's," she explained to their surprised expressions. "My ride's coming in a few minutes. I'm going to hop in and go back home with my notes and bag. I'm going to order the men to stay here. By morning the kid and at least some of these idiots will be free to go back to their insignificant lives."

"You think we're just going to let you get away with this?" Mendez demanded.

Jenna scoffed. "What are you going to do? You don't know where I live. And even if you did, what would you tell the police? That I used magic to enslave a town? Once I'm outside the borders there's no way you can arrest me without people asking the sort of questions that none of you want answered! You guys don't want the rest of the world to know about these creatures any more than I do! No," she said with conviction. "I'm leaving with everything I want and there's nothing any of you can do about it." Jenna paused. "Actually, now that I think about it, there is something else I want," she said slowly.

Wendy glared at the sorceress and tried to speak through her muffled gag but to no avail, the human and magical hands that kept her on her knees not faltering at all. But as the sorceress approached her she noticed with great satisfaction that there was a drop of blood at the other teenager's nostrils and felt glad she was still hurting her in some way.

"Do you remember what we spoke about the first time we met?" Jenna asked her casually, despite the headache the binding spell was beginning to cause her. Jenna looked into the puzzled redhead's eyes before she glanced upwards. "You should have taken my money," Jenna said softly. "Because one way or another I always get what I want." She reached up and swept the blue and white cap with the pine tree symbol off Wendy's head and placed it firmly on her own. "And this is a very nice hat," she said, grinning smugly at Wendy's shocked expression.

There was a collective gasp from the teenagers in Jenna's army, Mabel and Pacifica falling forward and looking at each other in surprise as the Corduroy brothers let them go suddenly, Marcus rushing over and putting a protective arm around his little brothers as they stared in horror.

"Oh my God," Robbie breathed, Tambry covering her mouth with her hands now that the teenager holding her had started to back away as Wendy's face reddened. "She touched the _ hat _."

Jenna looked around in bewilderment as she saw the suddenly clear yet terrified expressions that surrounded her, practically feeling her enchantment breaking around her. "What?" she demanded, seeing the way they were all staring at her. "What the hell is going on?"

There was a sound and she turned to see that Wendy Corduroy was somehow getting to her feet, her teeth bared, loose strands of red hair falling over her face like thin trickles of blood, the animalistic growl only enhancing her deranged look as she locked onto the sorceress' eyes with a fearsome glare.

"Uh," Jenna said as the redhead started to rise despite the two heavily built men doing their best to keep her down. "Uh," she said again, holding out both hands to strengthen the magical bonds barely keeping the tall teen at bay, feeling the pressure in her skull build as those bonds somehow started to break. "Uh!" Jenna groaned as blood dripped from her nostrils from the effort of the spell and every high schooler she had under her control turned and ran.

Then a muddy boot hit her in the face with enough force to send her flying head-over-heels and she lay on the ground screaming as she clutched her bloody mouth.

Wendy let out a snarl and head-butted one of her captors, sending him reeling back as she twisted and brought her knee into the stomach of the other, grabbing him by the belt as he crumpled, using the momentum to throw him into the path of Jenna's remaining men as they charged at the one who had hurt their beloved.

"ROUND TWO!" Mabel roared over the sound of battle, collecting her dropped grappling hook from the ground and raising it in the air like a banner, all concerns for the enslaved men vanishing as she thought of her family and friends surrounded by suddenly aggressive men. "PRETEND THEY'RE UNICORNS AND LET THEM HAVE IT!"

There was a cry from the Mystery Shack Crew and they charged in to aid their fiercest warrior, Mendez picking up a tranquilizer rifle and firing into the crowd while Pacifica stabbed away with her taser, Mabel tripped as many men as she could with her grappling hook and Grenda used her strength and wrestling moves to pin them to the ground while Candy collected unconscious gnomes from the ground, used their beards to soak up the puddles of Anti-Love and then rubbed them against the faces of the foes that Grenda and Mabel downed, throwing them at anyone who came too close.

"I've got you, Mister Pineses!" Soos yelled, barrelling into the men who were holding his hero and his brother captive. "Now you can help Wendy!"

"Yeah, I don't think she needs saving," Stan said with awe as Wendy struck a man between the legs with the butt of her axe and at the same time kicked another in the stomach with enough force to knock him on his back.

"If anything, we'd better stop her before she hurts somebody," Ford agreed when Stan helped him to his feet, watching the lumberjill twist her axe in her hands so that when she threw it into the face of an especially large man trying to tackle her, the butt hit him between the eyes and he toppled over, several others tripping over him and giving Candy plenty of opportunities to free them with her makeshift sponges.

"Holy crap, this is even worse than Gill Reed!" Robbie yelled, firing his rifle as he grabbed Tambry and dragged her way from the melee while a group of men finally surrounded Wendy and tried to hold her down until she bit their hands.

"Even we're not dumb enough to touch the hat!" Marcus cried as he joined them, one younger brother under each arm.

"Why aren't you out there helping her?" Tambry rounded on him, trying to hold her rifle steady as Wendy punched a man in the throat.

"'Cause she doesn't like us and would probably beat us up too!" Gus, the youngest, said, his brothers nodding at his wise words.

Marcus glanced at the rifle Tambry held shakily and gently took it from her grasp. "Here, give me that," he said with a surprising tenderness. "Dad always said you shouldn't hold a gun unless you know how to use it." He took aim and fired at some of the few remaining men, seeing his big sister punch Tats so hard in the chin that they heard her cry out in pain before she grabbed the poor bouncer with her good hand and repeatedly sent her forehead into his face. "Oh, boy," Marcus said, swallowing nervously as he gathered his courage. "You boys protect these two," Marcus told his brothers after witnessing a few more seconds of struggle, raising the rifle to his shoulder and moving closer for a better aim. "I'm going to save those men from our big sister!"

"You got it, Bro!" Kevin said, giving his brother a salute. "That's our big brother!" he told Tambry and Robbie proudly. "Bravely protecting the weak!"

Jenna screamed and screamed as she clutched her face, feeling the torn lips and broken nose, the blood streaming so fast it almost felt like drowning. At one point she had choked and felt hard and jagged things catch in her throat, and it was only when she swallowed them that she realized they were what remained of her front teeth. Then her tongue swept over the bloody gap where they had been and she started to scream again from the agony of the raw nerves.

After what felt like forever, the pain faded to a point where she could think, even if not clearly, and she rolled over, her neck and back also aching from the force of the kick but nowhere near as much as the pain at her mouth. She gargled and spat out too much blood as she sobbed, trying to get to her knees and wondering why no one was helping her. Then she noticed the only person standing near her was Dipper, the boy indifferent to the carnage around him.

"Hulb muh!" she tried to command him, her blood and wounds mangling her words. She clutched her ruined mouth and whimpered before she tried again. "Hulb muh!" she begged as tears ran down her face.

Dipper turned to her, his expression blank. "I don't understand," he said. He looked up at something behind her. "But I think you're in trouble."

Jenna spun round and saw her defeated army, most on the floor while the few that weren't were retreating towards the motel, probably hoping to make use of the rooms she had hired for the night, the three star service sounding like a gift from the heavens to their beaten bodies.

But she barely registered that, instead focusing on the advancing Mystery Shack Crew, all of them panting from exertion and sporting several wounds but a determination in their eyes as they marched towards her. Jenna's eyes flew to Wendy, panicking when she noticed the axe in her hand, the other held to her side. She scrambled away from the redhead, one hand clutching her ruined mouth while she tried to raise the other in a last, desperate attempt to protect herself. But Wendy merely strode forward and let the axe fall from her fingers so she could pick her hat off the ground, settling it back on her head before she turned to Dipper, who was busy being hugged by his sister and great-uncles.

"I was so worried!" Mabel whispered to him as Stan ruffled his hair and Ford put a hand on his shoulder. "We're going to make you better," she promised him, sharing a worried glance with her Grunkles when he didn't respond.

Jenna swallowed and tried to move away but someone grabbed her arm and threw her to the ground before roughly forcing her hands behind her back.

"Jenna Myles," Officer Mendez said as she pulled out her handcuffs. "You are under arrest."

Jenna closed her eyes as the officer read her her rights, tears gathering again, not just from the pain but from the loss of it all. She'd been beaten. All the work she'd done, the business she'd made for herself, all of it was gone in the space of a few minutes. To come so close to victory and then only to have it snatched away at the last minute.

Her eyes landed on Dipper, the others pulling him away now, Mabel taking him by the hand while Ford considered the curing formula from his pocket. If only he hadn't resisted. She'd be home by now. She frowned as she was dragged to her knees, the pain becoming somewhat manageable now that she'd been enduring it for so long.

She was forgetting something. There was a plan. A desperate last resort, something she'd thought of at the last moment, just in case - oh.

_ Yeah. That could work. _

She closed her eyes as she concentrated, whimpering but pushing past the new pain as she focussed the magic, her nose flowing freely again as Mendez lifted her to her feet.

"Yes, this looks legitimate," Dipper heard Ford say as Mabel led him away from Jenna, the scientist reading the formula that the sorceress had given him. "I'd still like to give it a quick test, just to be certain...but I think this is it."

"Ya hear that, kid?" Stan said, clapping him on the shoulder gently. "You're gonna be back to your normal weird self in no time!"

"Dude, that was a tough one," Soos said, rubbing his chest painfully. "I hurt! I think we should all take it easy tomorrow!"

"I second that!" said Candy.

"Third!" said Grenda.

"Yeah, this has been one seriously bad day for me," Robbie agreed, rubbing his bruised face as he pulled Tambry close, his girlfriend leaning against him gratefully.

"How are you doing?" Pacifica asked Wendy, the blonde sporting a bruised eye but glad she wasn't anywhere near as badly injured as the battered redhead.

"I punched a guy too hard," Wendy grunted through an aching jaw, cradling her arm as her brothers walked at her side and chatted amongst themselves about the excitement of the day, Kevin carrying his sister's axe. "I wish I was old enough for a whiskey."

"Hah, yeah, well we'll see if we can get you something a bit more legal at the Shack," Stan chuckled as he opened the door to the RV. "After you, kid," he said, motioning to Dipper.

Dipper stared at the door for a moment, a confused frown on his face as he cocked his head to the side.

"Dipper?" Mabel asked, nervously. "Are you okay?"

"No," her brother told her quietly as he let go of her hand.

"Uh, Dipper? What-?"

_ Dipper Pines! _ A voiced screamed from inside their skulls, all of them wincing save for Dipper, who walked away from his rescuers towards Jenna, her face pale from the loss of blood as she watched the young teen, Mendez clutching her head so desperately she stopped trying to drag the teenager into the back of the patrol car.

_ You are a worthless, weak little boy who will never amount to anything! _ Jenna screamed without words, her eyes meeting his as the others cradled their heads from the pain. _ Your family would be better off without you. Slit your own throat. _

Mabel's head shot up as her heart stopped, seeing her brother reach into his pocket and draw a small knife.

"Yeah," Dipper sighed as he raised it to his neck before anyone could stop him. "You're right," he agreed miserably and his friends and family cried out in horror as the blade started to pierce his skin.


	7. Chapter 7

_ STOP! _Jenna screamed with her magic as the first drops of blood ran down Dipper's neck.

Dipper did as he was told, the blade progressing no further in or along his skin. Everyone who rushed to save him froze, fearful that they wouldn't be able to reach him in time if another command was given, Officer Mendez stepping away from the handcuffed sorceress in horror.

Jenna took a deep shuddering breath to fight the pain, the cost of using magic without gestures or words from her broken mouth putting even more pressure on her already abused body. The headache was beginning to form into a migraine and she just wanted to find a dark, quiet room and cry herself to sleep. But she barely blinked as she watched the Pines family, not willing to give them one more second to surprise her.

She saw the terror in Wendy's eyes, and the dread on the old men's faces. She noticed that Mabel wasn't so cheerful or mouthy anymore and her mouth twitched in what minutes ago would have been a self-satisfied smirk. Then the agony hit her again and she delayed any self-congratulations until she was safe.

_ Let me go or he dies, _ she hissed and moved so that her back was towards Mendez, offering her the handcuffs.

Mendez looked between the teenage girl and her hostage. Then she swallowed and unlocked the handcuffs, the sound easily audible in the deathly silence of the stand-off.

_ Now give me my bag _ , Jenna commanded as she rubbed her wrists and stepped away from the officer. _ No tricks, no throw, just slide it over. _

"Okay, okay!" Soos said, raising his hands in an attempt to pacify the sorceress. "Just - just don't hurt the little dude!"

Jenna said nothing as he slid the bag over to her with a pushing kick, cursing silently as she saw the padlocks, forgetting all about them in the heat of the moment. _ Give me the padlock keys, _ she instructed them.

"We don't have the keys," Pacifica whispered, her voice high and rising as she watched the blood at Dipper's neck. "We left them at the Shack. We never thought to bring them."

Jenna cursed silently but gave a brief nod of understanding. That made sense. She wouldn't have brought them either.

"Please," Mabel begged, finally tearing her eyes off Dipper to face the sorceress, the tears streaming down her face. "Please let him go. He's my brother. It's going to be our birthday soon. We're only going to be fourteen! I can't be fourteen without him! Please, I'll do whatever you-"

_ Shut up or he dies! _ Jenna hissed as the migraine pulsed.

Mabel's jaw snapped shut, her hands clamping over her mouth as she wept silently.

"It's alright, Pumpkin," Stan whispered to her gently as he moved behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders in a hopeless effort to soothe her as Candy and Grenda reached out to her. "He's going to be alright." He lifted his eyes and glared at Jenna, the hatred in them burning like the sun.

Jenna ignored him, she was too busy trying to take another breath through her broken nose, but she almost choked from the blood and had to resort to breathing through her mouth again, despite the pain of the air hitting her exposed nerves. She started to sweat and not just from the stress of the situation. The magic was draining her too fast. She had already lost too much blood and keeping the magic voice at the ready was just costing her more.

She dared to glance around and her heart soared when she saw the lights of a vehicle. _ My ride's here, _ she said as it approached, a simple white car with blacked out windows that hid driver and any passengers. She lifted her bag from the ground and her aching back protested with a jolt of pain, making her whimper again. She clenched her fist and backed away towards the car. _ Dipper's coming with me, _ she added as she opened the door, putting her bag on the seat.

"The hell he is!" Stan snarled, his fingers digging into Mabel's shoulders, but when she gasped it wasn't from the pressure. Her heart pounded as she watched her brother step closer to the sorceress, the others also giving cries of surprise and fear, Wendy's still functional hand dropping to her empty holster while Mendez put a hand on the grip of her pistol.

Ford actually drew his laser pistol, the weapon pointed at the ground. "No, he damn well isn't!" he yelled, his eyes narrowed. "He isn't going anywhere with you. I've seen how cavalier you are with his safety, I'll be damned before I let him go anywhere else with you!"

Jenna made a noise that should have been a scoff, wincing as her blood got in its way. _ You won't shoot me, _ she said, giving him a sceptical look. _ Your mother- _

"My mother's been dead for years and I'd rather die and spend eternity facing her wrath than let you harm another hair on his head!" Ford roared at her.

"You won't need to," Wendy growled. "I'll kill her myself if she hurts him," she promised, even her friends and brothers looking surprised by her grim tone. Ford and Stan merely gave the briefest of nods in acknowledgment and Mabel didn't react at all, she just stared at her brother who was standing with a knife cutting his neck and seemingly indifferent to the debate for his own survival.

Jenna glanced at Wendy and swallowed nervously. _ You won't attack me, _ she tried to reason, despite the distraction of the ice pick in her lobe. _ You won't risk it. If I say something before you fire a shot- _

"I think I've got a ninety percent chance of killing you before you can say anything," Ford stated, his finger on the trigger. "But if Dipper steps in that car with you then to me he's got maybe fifty percent chance of coming back. Normally I'd never risk his life like that but ninety is a damn better chance than fifty." His mouth set firmly and the scientist and the sorceress barely blinked as they sized each other up, waiting for the other to falter.

Another stab of pain struck and Jenna realised she couldn't win a waiting game in her current condition. _ Fine _ , she said eventually. _ I'll command him to stay. He'll keep the knife where it is until I'm gone. _ She swallowed more blood and glanced at the teen boy. _ Dipper, stay here, _ she commanded. _ Keep the knife where it is until ten minutes after I leave. If they move or try to stop me or even say anything then finish the job. Understand? _

"Yeah," Dipper sighed, another drop of blood sliding down his neck as he spoke. "I understand."

Jenna turned back to Ford and the others, giving them one last hateful glare. Most of them were still watching Dipper in concern but when Ford, Stan and Wendy met her eyes the hate in them matched and even surpassed her own. She carefully backed into the car, watching them the whole time, even when the door shut and the car immediately drove away, the driver being paid too much to question any situation he witnessed. Jenna turned in her seat to keep an eye on them even as the motel became smaller and smaller until they turned a corner and it disappeared behind a wall of trees.

And only then did she slump down in her seat, her hands returning to her broken face as she screamed and cried until she lost consciousness, the driver unable to hear her in the sound-proof back and not sure he wanted to know about any of what happened.

Mabel swallowed nervously as she watched her brother. She tried to count down the minutes to herself silently but worried she was going too fast or too slow, then the fear caused her to lose count twice and she had to start again, her heart hurting in her chest as she watched her brother, Stan's fingers squeezing her shoulder repeatedly, sometimes as a way to assure her that she wasn't alone, other times involuntarily from the fear of what could happen.

"That's over ten minutes," Ford sighed after a lifetime of waiting, returning his weapon to its holster as he sagged.

"You're sure?" Soos asked him desperately, eying the knife anxiously.

"If Ford says it's ten minutes then it's ten minutes," Stan stated firmly, rubbing Mabel's head gently as the other breathed sighs of relief.

But Mabel didn't relax. Hearing the others talk and seeing them move hadn't caused any change in Dipper at all, the knife still at his throat as his lowered gaze watched their feet. "Dipper?" she asked quietly, taking a small step forward. "Dipper, she's gone. We can all go home now, okay?"

Dipper lifted his eyes, more red than white with a hollowness that was alien to her. "I'm tired, Mabel," he whispered.

"Yeah, so let's get you back home," Mabel urged him, taking another step forwards, the tension in the air returning full-force now that they saw the situation still wasn't over. "We'll go to the Shack, we'll get some food and rest."

"Whatever you want, Dipper," Ford agreed, exchanging an alarmed look with Stanley. "We'll go home, give you the potion and tomorrow we'll have a nice, relaxing day."

"Yeah," Stan agreed desperately, moving forward carefully. "We'll make a day of it. We'll go fishing or camping or out to wherever you want to eat. Or - or if you don't want to go out, how about that Dungeons game you like, huh? We'll spend all day in the Shack playing that if you want?"

"Yeah, dude, it'll be fun," Wendy added, also taking a step forward. "You can teach me how to play and any of us too, we'll all join in!"

"You said it sounded lame," Dipper said quietly. "You said a game with pen and paper was too much like work or school."

Wendy tried to give a dismissive snort that didn't sound quite natural. "What do I know? It's about time I tried new stuff, you can show me how great it is, teach me another lesson. Doesn't that sound great?"

"What's happening?" Robbie whispered to Wendy when Dipper didn't respond, looking her up and down, doing the same to everyone else one by one. "Why hasn't he been freed?"

"I think the potion was affecting him psychologically as well as physically," Candy whispered back when Wendy only gave a desperate shrug. "I fear we may have been too late in stopping Jenna."

"It's not too late, don't ever say that!" Pacific hissed at her. "I'll play it," she added in a louder voice, trying to give a casual shrug. "I mean, sure, sounds like fun. Only if you want to," she added quickly. "Or we can go to mini-golf, Mabel and I can teach you a few techniques or we can build one at the Shack? Mabel said you guys did that once, if we all work together then I'm sure we can design a pretty sweet course?"

Dipper turned to her, taking in her injured eye, Wendy's cradled arm, the list of other wounds sported by almost everyone else. He glanced at Mabel and saw the bruises on her cheek and the tiny scratches from the gnomes. "You all got hurt because of me," he said, taking a step back when Mabel tried to move closer again. "I keep messing up and people get hurt because of me," he said, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. "All of last summer. With the Summerween Trickster. In the bunker. When Bill tricked me. I thought I could research Jenna on her own and I failed. I was too stubborn and prideful to admit I couldn't do it and then she took control of me."

He glanced back at the motel, seeing the unconscious men and gnomes. "Then she used me to take over others. I'm the one who told her where to find the men!" he yelled, clutching his chest as he felt the ache of the potion and the guilt. "I told her about the gnomes and Manotaurs and let her hurt them! I hit Robbie! I was the one who suggested getting your brothers!" he confessed to Wendy, the redhead just shaking her head in fear as he sunk further and further into despair. "People got hurt because of me." He glanced back at Mabel. "You got hurt because of me," he whispered. "I just stood there and watched." He closed his eyes for a moment, the weight of his actions causing him visible pain. "Jenna was right," he said as he took a step back. "You're all better off without me."

"No, we're not!" Mabel cried, reaching out to stop him but stopping when fresh blood dripped. "We're not, Dipper! I'm not! Please! It wasn't your fault!"

"Yeah, dude!" Wendy said. "It was all her doing! I don't blame you and neither do they! Right?" she pleaded, turning to her brothers and Robbie.

The Corduroy brothers nodded desperately and around them there was a cacophony of agreement, praise and acceptance from everyone, even Robbie quick to forgive the boy for the wounds he inflicted.

"I'm a terrible person," Dipper whispered, more blood dripping as he trembled and shook. "And I'm an even worse brother."

"No you're not!" Mabel wailed. "You're the best brother in the world!"

"Listen to your sister!" Ford pleaded desperately. "Take it from someone who knows! When I was young I thought the bond between Stanley and I was the strongest in the world! But what you and Mabel have is even stronger! Because you're better than us! I know you were worried that I'd be disappointed that you didn't find out everything about Jenna but you were wrong! I couldn't be more proud of you!"

"Neither of us could!" Stan said, his hands outstretched. "Kid, listen to someone who thought he'd lost his family forever - whatever you're thinking about yourself, you're wrong. I know what it's like to think they're better off without you - and I'm telling you we ain't! We need you! Mabel needs you! It'll all be better, I promise just - just give me the knife okay?" he begged, holding his hand out as he approached slowly, Mabel tugging at her hair as Dipper just retreated, shaking his head aggressively.

"I'm weak," he whispered to himself as he backed away, Stan looking at Mabel and Ford desperately. "A weak, stupid little boy who causes misery and trouble," he said with despairing conviction, ignoring the denials of his friends and family. "I only spread misery. People get hurt trying to save or protect me because I'm so busy trying to prove myself." Tears ran down his cheeks as he looked back at the people he cared about and saw the pain and fear on their faces and new it was all because of him. "All my fault," he whispered. "I'm just a loser."

"You're not a loser," Soos said. "You're a piece of Lego."

"I'm a-" Dipper paused in his self-deprecating mutterings to look at the large man in confusion. "I'm a what?"

"You're a piece of Lego," Soos repeated, everyone's eyes on him. "Just like I am. That's what you called me."

"Uh, I did?" Dipper asked, feeling more guilt at calling someone he cared about something like that, until it was replaced with more confusion at the smile on Soos' face.

"Yeah, you called me it yesterday, remember?" Soos said, stepping forward. "When I told you I was worried about the wedding, that I didn't think I was good enough to marry Melody? No? Well looking back on it I think Jenna's potion was messing with your head so don't feel too bad about that. Anyway, I was in a bad place, feeling down and sorry for myself. Until you came along and cheered me up."

Dipper rubbed his head and tried to recall but the memory was foggy and he let out a groan of pain when he tried to focus on it.

"I'll never forget what you said to me, Dipper, even if I don't remember most of it," Soos continued, moving forward slowly, the boy watching him warily. "You said we were all little pieces that can fit together to make something awesome. And that's what we are dude, all of us. It doesn't matter how big or unique or bright we are, it's how we connect to other people that matter. And you've connected to everybody here, Dipper. You've been connected to Mabel since birth. You've connected with Stan and me. With Wendy and Ford. All of us, we all think you're an awesome dude, our friends as well as family. I mean, dude, when you and Mabel left we talked about you guys every day. You couldn't go down the street with someone mentioning how awesome you two are."

"No, I'm not," Dipper whispered, trembling as the large man approached. "I'm nobody. I'm nothing special."

"Sure you are, dude," Soos said, confidently. "You're the guy who found the journal and started it all. The guy who beat Gideon in his robot. Saved the town. If we listed all the awesome things you did we'd be here all day. Twice that if we added the stuff you did with Mabel." Soos swallowed nervously as he neared the boy, almost close enough to reach out and touch him. "Dude, do you remember when we got caught by the Society of the Blind Eye? When we were scared that they'd wipe our memories? You said you needed to be the smart guy or you didn't know who you were. Well you're my Pterodactyl Bro. Wendy's bud, the nephew of the Mister Pineses and Mabel's brother and best friend."

He knelt down and held out his hand, Dipper flinching away as it drew near. "You're Dipper Pines," said the new Mister Mystery. "And that's good enough. Because the Dipper Pines I know? He's awesome. He's the kind of cool dude who'd do anything for his family. Look at your sister, dude. She needs her brother. Because she loves you just as much as you love her. I know it's a lot to ask but I'm asking you, despite the pain and the fear you're going through, will you do one more brave thing? Give me the knife, dude. For Mabel."

Dipper stared at him, his lips trembling as he glanced between his friend and his sister, catching the hope and fear in their faces as tears threatened to form in the former handyman's eyes and they streamed down Mabel's face.

With a deep, shuddering breath, Dipper screwed his eyes shut, digging deeper than ever before for the strength to do what he had to do, and placed the knife in his friend's hands.

"Awesome, dude," Soos said, wrapping his fingers around the weapon and putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I'm proud of you."

Dipper nodded and turned to face the rest of the crowd, the shame and guilt he felt at causing them so much stress making him unable to look any of them in the eye.

"I'm sorry," he tried to whisper before he felt all the air leave his lungs.

"It's alright!" Mabel promised him, her fingers digging into his hair as she squeezed him tight, scared to lose him if she ever let go. "It's alright, you're alright, everything's going to be alright!"

Dipper blinked in surprise before he felt two more pairs of strong arms wrap around them both, and between his Grunkles and his sister's hair he lost sight of the world around him. He slowly reached up and put his arms around her as best he could, feeling her tremble against him. He swallowed as he realised she was crying for him and the tears came again, despite best efforts to stop it, his body shuddering as he wept and wailed, his family tightening their grip as his cries rang out.

Soos put a hand over his heart as he watched the Pines family try to comfort their youngest member and each other, none of them willing to let go. He took a deep breath and looked at the knife in his hand with disgust.

"I'll take that," said a voice beside him and he turned to see Officer Mendez holding out a plastic evidence bag, a strange expression on her face. "Well done," she told him, clapping his shoulder after he dropped the knife in the bag. "I wish we had more people like you in the city."

"No, I'm nothing special," Soos told her, giving a nervous chuckle as he dismissed her praise.

"Try telling them that," Mendez said as they looked over at the Pines family, Stan and Ford still holding the younger twins tightly as the others kept a respectful distance.

Soos couldn't think of a response to that, rubbing the back of his neck as Dipper's wails became sobs and eventually he collapsed from exhaustion, Stan lifting him carefully as Ford checked his pulse and suggested they get him home as quickly as possible, asking Mendez if she could drive them back to the Shack in her patrol car while Soos took the others home. Mendez agreed and Soos urged the others into the RV, all of them still so shocked and drained from the events of the last half hour that they barely said a word.

For almost the entire journey, there was silence from everyone, even the normally rambunctious Grenda. Pacifica was the first to be dropped off and she begged him with teary eyes to let her know the moment anything changed. He promised her he'd keep her updated and then repeated it louder for everyone to hear. Apart from that he only briefly spoke with Wendy when he dropped her and her brothers off last, telling her that the Shack would be closed tomorrow and she wouldn't need to work.

Wendy didn't respond with her usual grin and witty remark, only wrapping her good arm around him in a loose hug. "Thanks, man," she told him and he knew for once she didn't care about the day off. "We owe you big time for this."

"Nah," he said, giving her a gentle squeeze back. "Family don't owe each other anything."

She nodded but said nothing as she stepped out of the RV, her middle brother still holding her axe as her oldest and youngest kept close, not expecting her to need their help as they made their way back to their cabin but ready to offer it just in case.

He drove as quickly back to the Shack as he could without breaking any speed limits. He saw the lights were on in the attic and he removed his fez as he stepped up to the front door, feeling like an intruder as he stepped into his home for almost a year and most of his life. He heard the sound of retching from upstairs and quiet voices from the back of the house. Deciding that the little dude probably didn't want a crowd as he threw up, he went to the kitchen where the Stans were sitting at the table while Melody and Abuelita stood close by.

"And here he is," Ford said quietly as Melody rushed over and hugged her fiancé. "The man of the hour. We just finished telling them of your heroic deed."

Soos cleared his throat in embarrassment as Abuelita murmured her pride in Spanish. "Uh, no, I - I didn't even know what I was saying."

"Shut up and take the compliment, Soos," Stan ordered him, a cup of hot coco in his bandaged hand. "You saved the kid. You should be proud."

"Thank you, Soos," Ford said. "We're grateful, both of us. Mendez was also very impressed. She said she'd speak to the mayor about getting you a medal."

"Uh, no," Soos said, shaking his head. "I don't think tonight's not the kind of night I need a reminder of, you know? How's Dipper doing, anyway? I think I heard him being sick?"

"I gave him the cure," Ford explained. "It was simple to create and test but unfortunately he's received a massive dose of the potion and it won't be pleasant for him. Hopefully he'll empty his stomach soon and then he'll sleep."

"He's also got an appointment with the Prof tomorrow," Stan added. "Need her expertise to make sure there's no lingering dark thoughts or anything."

"I can't even imagine what the must have been like for Mabel," Melody said after a moment of silence. "Or any of you."

"Not something I hope to go through again," Stan grunted. "Mendez took the license plate of the getaway car but it was probably fake. That girl's a real piece of work but she's smart as well as ruthless." He sipped his drink. "Hopefully we've seen the last of her for a while."

"I hope so too but we'd better be ready in case she does return," Ford said. "I'll create some notes; some general advice or recipes to counter her potions. That way we'll be prepared in advance."

"Sounds like a plan," Stan agreed, getting to his feet. "You guys mind if we crash here tonight? Don't want to be too far away from him right now. From either of them."

"Of course not, Mister Pines," Soos said automatically. "This is your home."

"No, it ain't," Stan corrected him. "It's yours. And I made the right call giving it to you. You've just confirmed it again tonight."

Soos smiled despite the stresses of the night. "Thanks, Mister Pines. That means a lot to me."

* * *

Dipper gagged as he leaned over the toilet, his head spinning as his stomach clenched. "I think that's the last of it," he groaned as he slid down the side of the toilet. "Man, I hope that's the last of it."

"Yeah, it's not as fun going out as it is going in," Mabel agreed, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, her legs swinging as she watched her brother. "Don't get me wrong, the patterns can be nice and sometimes you get a surprise when you see something you forgot you had in the first place but overall, nah, not worth the hassle."

Dipper said nothing, merely clutching his stomach and panting, so Mabel hopped off the bath and flushed for him, helping him to the sink where she filled a cup with water and raised it to his lips so he could rinse his mouth. When he was finished spitting she wiped his mouth and then carried him back to their room, ignoring his feeble protests.

"I'm sorry, Mabel," he whispered as she tucked him into bed.

"Not your fault," she said, firmly. "It's all Jenna's. Tomorrow you're going to see Professor Passuum and she's going to help you see that."

"But I let them hurt you," Dipper protested weakly. "I let her enslave people. Then I just watched when they attacked. How can I look them in the eye after I did all that?"

Mabel said nothing for her moment, watching her brother carefully. "Because it wasn't your fault," she told him. "You were used. Someone messed with your head when you were feeling bad and then they hurt people. It doesn't mean you were weak or that you're a bad person. You didn't mean it. If you knew what they were going to do or if you could have stopped them then you would have. And, with the help of some very important family and friends, we beat the bad guy."

There was a heavy silence between them. "I guess...I guess you know what I'm going through," he said quietly.

"A little bit," Mabel shrugged. "Not exactly. We're two different people and we'll have our own struggles and ways to deal with it. But whatever they are, we'll always be there to help each other."

Dipper nodded as he considered her words. "Does it get any easier?"

Mabel glanced down at her feet. "Sometimes. Some days it gets harder," she whispered. "But I think after a while the good days start to outnumber the bad."

"Hm." He lay back and stared at the ceiling. "I hope you're right."

"Of course I'm right! I'm Mabel! When have I ever been wrong?"

"Too many times to think of just one." Dipper sighed.

"In that case I win so once again I'm always right! Thank you for being such a good brother and proving my point."

Dipper chuckled and closed his eyes, feeling a brief moment of relief from the never-ending despair of the last few days. He felt a cool hand rest on his brow and was glad of it. He thought someone whispered something to him but he barely heard it as he drifted off to sleep.

He awoke the next morning to a knock at the door, still feeling emotionally and physically drained, but even then it was an improvement to the night before. He propped himself up on his elbows as Stan entered the room with a breakfast tray with his breakfast, Mabel, Ford, Soos and Wendy close behind him.

"Hey, kid, how you doing?" Stan asked as he put the tray down.

"Tired," he admitted as Ford sat down on the bed beside him.

"Any headaches?" Ford asked, reaching over and taking his pulse. "Stomach cramps? Nausea, aches, double-vision, dizzy spells, intense sweating?"

"Uh," said Dipper as Ford pulled out a flashlight and checked his pupils. "Yes, no, no, all over, no but a little bit blurry, no, and constantly."

Ford smirked as he gently pulled Dipper's mouth open and looked inside. "I'm not an expert in medicine but he seems fine for now," he told the relieved Mystery Shack Crew. "Still, I think we should have him checked by an expert after his appointment, just to be certain."

"I'll drop by the clinic after we're done," Stan promised him.

"And that way we'll have lunch all sorted for when you guys get back," Soos agreed happily.

Dipper looked around at the worried faces, seeing that they all had an assortment of band-aides or bandages over their wounds. The most obvious was the cast around Wendy's hand and wrist. "I think if you should be checking on anyone then it should be Wendy," he commented. "Never known you to drop by the Shack so early." He nodded to her hand. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, no sweat dude!" Wendy said, raising her arm so he could see the cast better. "I've had way worse than this thing and Corduroys heal quick. This thing'll be off in a week, tops. And I came by to see how my bud was doing. What, you think I'd ever be this early for something as unimportant as work?"

"I guess not," Dipper said with a tired smile. "Uh, thanks guys but I'm fine. Really."

"Yeah, I think we'll let the professional quack doctors decide that for us," Stan grunted. "Speaking off - you've got an appointment so get dressed. If you aren't done in ten minutes then you can eat the rest in the car."

"So everybody out!" Mabel instructed, shooing them away with her hands. "Give the boy some privacy. I'm looking at you, Waddles, don't think I'll let it slide if you become a peeping pig!"

Dipper just shook his head and picked at his breakfast before getting dressed and taking the half-full plate with him, Stan and Ford both adamant that he should finish the rest in the car. He said a quick goodbye to the others as Stan drove him way, embarrassed by the attention and even more so when they stood at the front of the Shack and waved at him until they were gone.

"I'll go down to the lab," Ford said grimly after the Stanley Mobile was gone. "I'll get started on those magic protection kits."

"And we'll get things ready for when he comes back," Soos agreed, heading to his pick-up truck with Melody. "Uh everybody knows about it?" he asked the girls.

"Yeah," Mabel said with a nod. "They're all coming."

"Awesome!" he said, giving her a quick thumbs-up before driving away.

"Going to be one heck of a party," Wendy said to her friend as they made their way back inside.

"I just hope it cheers him up," Mabel said quietly.

"Yeah," Wendy agreed, her voice equally low. She hesitated as she opened the door. "Uh, listen, Mabel," she said, rubbing her neck uncomfortably. "I, uh, I think I should apologise. For last night."

Mabel looked at her in surprise. "What? Why?"

"Because if I hadn't lost it like that then maybe what happened with Dipper...maybe it wouldn't have happened," Wendy said, her mouth twitching in guilt "She was going to let him go. Then I kicked her in the face over a stupid hat and she - well, you saw how she reacted. If I had just her go...maybe you wouldn't have had to go through that."

Mabel considered the tall teen, uncharacteristically awkward and embarrassed over the rare outburst of emotion from last night. She remembered the rage and damage she caused over a battered cap, the fear in the eyes of the other high schoolers. She remembered Jenna's confident smirk as she boasted of her own success and then the indifference in her eyes as she ordered her brother to kill himself in front of his family. She remembered the crunch as one teenage girl kicked another in the face and left her sobbing in her own blood.

"Thank you, Wendy," Mabel said, putting her arms around the older girl. "Thank you for hurting the person who hurt my brother."

Wendy hesitated for a moment before she returned the hug. "Anytime, Mabel," she replied. "Nobody hurts our families and gets away with it."

* * *

Stan glanced at Dipper as he drove, the boy silent as he leaned on his elbow and looked out the window. He felt the urge to say something, especially after last night, but struggled to think of what to say.

He was never one for emotional talks. Not the way he had been raised. But last night had struck him and Ford even harder than they showed. And there had been so much he had feared he'd never get a chance to say to the kid, all of it rushing forth at once last night, so much it seemed to get jammed between his brain and his mouth. But now that they were alone it was a struggle to think of it again. What should he say first? He wasn't quite ready to bring it all up now, it seemed hollow to mention it all at once. Maybe one thing at a time to get used to it?

Better start with the basics then.

"I'm proud of you," he told his great-nephew.

Dipper blinked in surprise and turned to face him. "What?"

"I said, I'm proud of you," Stan said again, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice at having to repeat it. "I, uh, I know I never said that before last night but I am. Of you and your sister. You're the most important people in my life. I just wanted you to know that."

He glanced at Dipper and saw a strange smile on his face. "What are you grinning at?" he demanded. "I'm saying serious and emotional crap, here!"

"I know, Grunkle Stan," Dipper said, his smile broadening. "That you're proud of me, I mean. You told me once."

"I did?" Stan frowned. It sounded like something he would remember saying but for the life of him he couldn't. "When? Was it a Hanukkah? Did I drink that much? What else did I say?"

"No, Stan," Dipper chuckled. "It was a dream you. The first time we fought Bill. We had to go inside your head. I saw some of your memories. One of them was you telling Soos that you were proud of me, you just didn't want me to get a big head about it."

"Too late for that," Stan grunted. "Literally and...is it metaphorically? Literally and the other one. Huh. Okay then. Good. So long as we're clear. Because I am," he repeated. "Damn proud of you. Prouder every day."

"Thanks, Stan," Dipper said, quietly. He hesitated for a moment before saying what was on his mind for the entire journey. "Grunkle Stan, I don't think I need to see Professor Passuum. I think it was just Jenna's potion. I feel much better now. Mostly. There are people who need her way more than me."

"No way out of it," Stan grunted with Pines family stubbornness.

"But why?" Dipper asked him anxiously. "It was a magic potion and Ford gave me the cure! I don't think-"

"Dipper last night I watched you put a knife to your throat," Stan growled, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. "Me, Ford and Mabel asked you to put it down and you said no. Even after Jenna left. That - you can't imagine what that was like for us. I hope you never find out. But that's something I never want to see again. I know you've got the self-doubt thing, that you blame yourself for crap that ain't your fault and get stressed. Maybe you're right. Maybe last night was all Jenna's potion. But maybe it wasn't. Or maybe her potion's still got some lingering negativity and it's just waiting to come up again. Whatever it is, I'm not willing to take that risk, okay? If it were Mabel then you'd feel the exact same way the rest of are feeling right now." Stan took a deep breath, his voice and face softening before he continued. "I already lost my family once before, Dipper. I can't do it again. I just can't."

Dipper couldn't think of a single argument to that, he only watched his always strong and boisterous great-uncle suddenly turn old and weary before his eyes before he turned back to the window, deciding that Stan probably didn't want him to see him this way.

They spent the rest of the journey in silence instead. Even when they arrived and Stan spoke to the wheelchair-bound Professor of behaviour and psychology, he didn't say more than a respectful greeting as Stan agreed to sign the paperwork while they stepped into another room.

Professor Passuum watched him carefully as he unknowingly settled into the same bean-bag his sister had chosen on her first appointment at the start of the summer. Her first real words to him were not what he was expecting. "Something tells me you don't think you need to be here,"

He looked at her in surprise. "Did Grunkle Stan say something?"

"No," she replied. "I'm just very smart and have plenty of experience with reluctant patients. So. Why don't you think you need this and why do you think your family feels you do?"

Dipper sighed. "How much do you know about last night?"

"Almost all of it," Passuum shrugged. "Your great-uncle Stanford emailed me the details. It was quite an engaging read. Magic and Manotaurs and gnomes, oh my!"

"So you know about...what she made me do? Almost do?"

"Yes, I was quite interested in this Jenna character," Passuum said matter-of-factly. "Ruthless and cunning. I can guarantee you that she'll be back. Eventually. First she'll try and learn from her mistakes. She won't learn as much as she should from them, that requires a degree of reflection that she frankly doesn't possess yet. Too proud. And it's true what people say: pride comes before the fall. Trust me, I know all about that," she added, tapping her pen against the wheels of her chair.

"But I was also quite interested in you," Passuum admitted, surprising the boy further. "I've learned a great many things since I came to this town. Stanford has been very helpful in emailing me everything he knows about magic and creatures of myth and science fiction. Stuff that would normally have me shunned by my peers. And that someone so young could fight someone so obviously talented in the field of magic? Well! That was certainly something. Your sister has a fascinating mind. And it's clearly something that runs in the family. That and twins."

"Uh, thanks," Dipper said, nervously. "Look, I know I get...anxious sometimes. Prone to self-doubt. But I'm not depressed! Last night was just...just a bad night. I think I'm okay. I just need some rest. Maybe some medicine. But I don't need to talk to someone about my problems yet. They're not that bad! There's way more deserving people in need of your help."

"I see," Passuum said, nodding in understanding. "Well it's your right to say no. But I think you're making a mistake, Dipper. The human mind isn't like science. There's no set limit that a person can endure, it's different for everyone. And you have endured much, Dipper. More than you should have. Which is also what I'm here for. Prevention is better than cure. So why not give it a try? Now, I know you don't have much time left in the Falls before you return home, so why don't we meet every day of this week? I'm not charging you for it so it won't cost your family anything anyway. Then, if you want, we can have bi-weekly until you return home? Does that sound reasonable?"

"That...does sound reasonable," Dipper said grudgingly.

"Excellent. Now, I can understand why you don't want to be here. You're worried about what people will think of you. That it will be seen as a weakness. Really, it's just giving you help, in the same way that you'll go to the pharmacist if you need medicine, or a physiotherapist if you have a bad leg. It doesn't make you weak. Because you're not, Dipper. I know it was you and Mabel who led the charge against Bill and set the world back to the way it was. And I've spoken to Stanford, Stanley, Pacifica and Mabel. They've all told me exactly how strong you are."

"They have?" When the Professor gave a resolute nod he shifted uncomfortably from the praise. "But I still wasn't strong enough!" he protested. "Jenna still took control of me in the end. She hurt people and I just stood there! Then she was talking about strategy and I suggested who would be the best people for her army! And then they all got hurt trying to save me." He slumped in the bean bag and looked at the floor. "I just got people hurt," he muttered. "Even after Wendy kicked her in the face I still couldn't fight her. I scared my family. My friends."

A flash of anger appeared on the Professor's face at the mention of Wendy Corduroy but she managed to hide it before the boy saw. "Dipper, you are not perfect," she stated. "You are a thirteen year-old boy. You have failed and you will fail in the future. So will Mabel and Stanley and Stanford. Because we are all human. Your sister has told me all about her many failings and how you have forgiven her for them. She says that you are the best brother in the world and from what she's told me I can understand why. Is it honestly so hard to believe that after everything that you have been through, that your family will love and accept you as you are, despite you failings? Just as you have done with them?"

Dipper faltered, his heart telling him one thing and his brain telling him another. "I...guess not," he admitted, feeling another pang of guilt for even partially believing his family could think that way.

"Neither do I," Passuum said firmly. "We all have doubts, our bad days. But it's how we get through them that proves our worth. And honestly? I think you're destined for greatness."

Dipper smiled a little. "My Mom says that," he said quietly. "About my birthmark. Kids back home just make fun of me for it," he muttered bitterly.

"They're idiots," Passuum said with such certainty it surprised him. "People dismissed me when I was younger. But I always knew I would grow up to prove them wrong. And I did. And so will you," she added, again surprising him with her certainty. "It's just a matter of convincing you that you're the great man the rest of us know you to be. Gideon says something like that to the ex-cons he tries to reform but I don't think he'd mind me stealing it. And if he complains, who cares? I'll just get you to beat him up again."

Dipper laughed as the Professor smiled. And without even realising it, he started to open up about his self-doubts, his fears and insecurities and she nodded as he spoke, knowing that he really would do great things in the years to come.

* * *

Dipper returned to the Sack hours later with a supply of temporary medication from the pharmacy, too lost in his own thoughts to even realise there was a group outside waiting for him until after he stepped out of Stan's car. He gave a groan at the banner spread across the building reading 'GET WELL SOON!' A groan his sister promptly ignored.

"Welcome back!" Mabel yelled, waving at him enthusiastically as he shook his head. "It's the whole gang! They all came to see how you were doing!"

He gave a half-hearted wave back because even though she was only a few feet in front of him, he knew his sister would could continue for hours if he didn't. Then he was lifted off his feet in a tight squeeze.

"I was so worried!" Pacifica cried, heedless of grins and noises the crowd made behind her while Dipper did see them and turned red. She had done her best to appear presentable, spending a whole hour on her injured eye alone to make sure the makeup matched her skin tone. She let him back down gently. "How are you?" she asked him nervously.

"I'm okay," he said dismissively, clearing his throat in embarrassment as the gang moved closer. He peered at her curiously. "What have you done to your eye?"

"Yeah, he's fine," Mabel sighed as Pacifica turned away, one hand hiding her face while the other pulled out her mirror. "Good old, charming Dipper."

"My mother baked a cake!" Gideon declared proudly, holding up a large cake with white frosting to show the teenager. "She bakes when I feel glum and she went all out on this one for you."

"Oh, uh, thanks, Gideon," Dipper said awkwardly to the beaming pre-teen. "Tell her that was very nice of her. And, uh, thanks for helping my family make more tranquilizers," he added.

Robbie scoffed as Tambry rolled her eyes, their hands around each other's waist. "Yeah, sure, thank him! We were the ones who actually joined the attack."

Dipper's lips twitched slightly. "You're right. Thanks for trying to rescue me. And thanks for trying to get me away from Jenna when we were at the park." The couple just gave indifferent shrugs in response but they smiled a little as they did so. "And I'm really sorry about your face," he sincerely told Robbie. "I swear, I never wanted to-"

"Don't mention it," said Robbie. "No, seriously, like, never mention it again." He glanced around at the surrounding faces uncomfortably. "Ever."

"We don't blame you, Dr Funtimes," Lee told the younger teen with a confident grin as Thompson nodded. "She got us all. Hell, one day we're probably all going to laugh at the whole thing!"

Dipper, Robbie and Nate all gave sceptical grunts at that remark but said nothing more.

"PARTY TIME!" Mabel roared with her hands in the air, dragging her brother to the back of the Shack where they had set out a table lined with snacks and drinks while Stan went to collect his own brother. "Victory party! Dipper! What game should we play first?"

"Uh, actually, Mabel, I think I'll just sit and watch," he said, letting go of her hand. "I'm, uh, I'm still tired and sore. But you guys have fun!" he said quickly, seeing the downcast expressions. "Really. I'll just sit over here and rest for a bit. Hopefully I'll join in later when I'm feeling better.

Mabel hesitated for a moment before giving him a quick hug. "Take care of yourself," she whispered just before she let go, turning to the others. "You heard the man! Let him rest! We'll have fun here until he's ready to join in. Girls and Gideon! Let's think up some games! Thompson, Soos, Melody! Eat those snacks! Nate and Lee! Start filling the super soakers and water balloons! Tambry and Robbie! Don't make out - it's icky and the rest of us can't join in without making it weird. Let's have some fun, people!"

Dipper shook his head and made his way to the back porch where he watched them, feeling disconnected after the drain of the last few days but relieved it was finally over. He was only there for a few minutes when a figure sat down beside him.

"Hey, dude," Wendy said stretching her arms and legs out lazily. "How's it going?"

"Fine," Dipper said automatically. "Okay, maybe not fine," he admitted to her raised eyebrow. "But I think I will be. It'll just take a while."

Wendy nodded, accepting his answer as they watched the others eat and play. "So, thought I'd better let you know. My brothers are super impressed with you resisting Jenna's magic when they couldn't. Even Marcus. He's actually started to say your name instead of just grunting it. On the downside, I don't think we should have a movie night at my place until you're feeling better. Gus and Kevin just want to wrestle you even more now, prove how tough they are."

"Great," Dipper sighed. "Well I'm sure we can think of something else to do instead. If not, we'll just ask Mabel. She's full of ideas," he said, gesturing towards the other teens who were playing a game Mabel had created, where they carried someone or something and raced through the woods and then back to the Shack, winning more points depending on speed and how many trees you number ran through. Grenda was carrying Mabel, Candy and Pacifica while Lee did the same with Nate and Tambry and Robbie ribbed Thompson when he asked if he could try with one of them. "You not joining in?" he asked her.

Wendy raised her cast. "Got a sick note. Took a few more knocks than everyone else last night." She paused thoughtfully as Grenda won the race, then declared they should swap places and promptly launched herself at Candy, Mabel and Pacifica, the three girls collapsing under the weight of the larger one. "Actually, I think I might have it in me to have a go as long as the partner's not too heavy." She stood up and offered him her good hand to help him get to his feet. "Wanna try it?" she asked, Pacifica's head shooting up when she saw them.

"Uh, even if I weren't sick I don't think I could run with you on my back," he admitted lamely, patting his underwhelming bicep.

"Eh, I'll just run round twice," Wendy shrugged. "What are friends for if not to pick each other up when we're down and then run round trees yelling like maniacs?"

Dipper laughed. "Well, when you put it like that," he agreed, reaching out to take her hand.

There was a loud cry and Pacifica was between them in a second, scooping up a startled Dipper in her arms and halting just long enough to give Wendy a challenging glare before she ran through the trees, yelling as loudly as she could.

"So subtle," Wendy sighed, shaking her head as she watched them go.

"Eh, I'll see if I can get her to calm down a bit before next summer," Mabel said, getting to her feet now that Soos had rescued them from Grenda, running through the woods with the large, whooping girl in his arms. There was a polite cough at her shoulder and she turned to see Gideon staring at her hopefully. Mabel rolled her eyes. "Oh, alright," she said, grunting as she picked him, much to his delight. "But don't turn this into a big deal," she warned him.

"Oh, I won't," Gideon said brightly as she ran after Soos and Pacifica. _ "I will!" _he whispered suddenly, turning away from her as he smiled, Mabel grunting again but showing no other reaction.

"Ah, I see the festivities have started." Ford noted as Stan brought him outside. "Well it certainly looks as if the young ones are having their fun."

"Yep," Stan agreed, watching the racers being cheered on by those not playing, Robbie obviously struggling with Tambry, Mabel almost struggling as much with Gideon as Pacifica crossed the finish line and set Dipper down gently. "Welp, no idea how you play this thing but I'll be damned if I don't beat a teenager at something while I've got the chance," he declared, bending down and throwing his twin over his shoulder before charging towards the trees.

"Stanley!" Ford yelled, shaking his fists. "Stanley, put me down this instant!"

"He ain't heavy, he's my brother!" Stan cried as he ran, barely reaching the trees before he set him down. "Actually, scratch that," Stan panted as he clutched his side. "Woof! One of us needs to lose some weight! I blame those extra fingers of yours."

Ford rolled his eyes at his brother's childish actions. Then he said, "To hell with it," and threw all pretence of maturity aside as he lifted his gasping brother over one shoulder, chanting, "Pines! Pines! Pines!" as he ran.

"Pines!" Pines! Pines!" agreed Stan, raising a fist in revelry.

Dipper lifted his head from the ground as Pacifica panted and rested next to him, hearing Mabel, Soos, Wendy and Melody join in the chant. And despite the lingering doubts in himself, despite the hardships he'd endured, he grinned broadly and felt his spirits truly lift; being surrounded by friends and family and having, silly, simple fun doing more to cure his dread than a week's worth of medicine and psychiatry.

Because life was good and he was happy. Even if it was just for today, right now, that was what really mattered.

* * *

Jenna Myles spat a bloody gob into the sink, hoping that was the last of it. She looked up at her reflection, seeing a face that was pale with blood loss where it wasn't dark with bruising, a broken nose and torn lips. She opened her mouth and flinched at both the sight and feel of the broken and missing front teeth. She looked more like an inbred cannibal from those crappy horror movies than a teenage girl.

She whimpered as she put a hand over her mouth and made her way to bed. She desperately wanted to use her magic to heal her herself but she had lost too much blood to risk it. Instead she had searched for a healing potion but even when she had finally found one it was pretty old, made back when she had just started basic potions. Which meant it would take time to work and probably wouldn't do anything for her teeth, the biggest issue. She'd have to see an orthodontist until she designed a potion that would let her grow them back. She took another sip of the potion, whimpering again as it hit her bloody lips and gums. She cursed herself for not being smarter, for not preparing stronger potions just in case anything like this ever happened. She'd have to be more prepared next time.

And there would be a next time.

She scowled as she finished the weak potion and gagged at the taste. Gravity Falls was a gold mine for magical potential. She could make billions if she played her cards right. There was no way she was going to let an opportunity like that slip by. But there was also the matter of the Pines family and their friends. It wasn't about retribution - death and revenge were bad for business. No, she was too clever to declare war on them just because they'd beaten her, it didn't matter how much the idea appealed to her. But she had to be careful. Tomorrow she'd do more research on the town. Information was power and she didn't want to feel powerless ever again.

She settled into her bed, trying to ignore the pain and get some sleep so that the potion could heal her better. She'd finally been defeated. She could admit that at least. But one day she would return, better prepared and wiser. And no doubt the Pines would oppose her. Them and their redheaded friend. Jenna put a hand to her jaw as she glared up at the ceiling. Revenge was a fool's game and bad for business.

But that didn't mean it wouldn't be satisfying.

THE END

* * *

_ Author's note: Well, that story got dark towards the end. But at least it ended on a high note! Apart from the whole vengeful Jenna thing. Anyway, I hope you all hated Jenna because she's going to be my most recurring villain. I'm also hoping she'll be the last recurring character to hate Wendy f _ _ or a while _ _ . Right now I'd put Jenna's level of hate for Wendy as higher than Phil's but way less than Passuum's. No, seriously, Passuum REALLY hates Wendy. _

_ Funny how that's such a recurring thing with me, despite being such a Wendy fan. _

_ Also, credit where it is due, Candy and Grenda combining to become Grendy: Supreme Ruler of Earth was not my original idea: it came from a line of dialogue in the 3DS game. I always wanted to use it but only remembered it at the last second. _

_ I should also let you know it's going to be a while before my next story comes out. About a month. I'm going on holiday and I've got a few other commitments that will suck up my time. If all goes well, maybe I can return to my weekly-ish updating schedule. I've only got three stories left about the second summer in Gravity Falls and then another that's outside my usual continuity. I'm hoping to get them all done before 2020 so I can take a break and plan out my next batch of Gravity Falls stories. _

_ We'll see how it goes. _


End file.
